The office hottie has a crush on my husband.?

Question

We work together and we are all friends..She tell him he's her favorite co-worker and hangs around his desk. They do have to work closely together, but he says she does make him feel uncomfortable at times. How do I keep it professional but keep her in her place. By the way...I totally trust my husband and don't fear that he'll stray.

Answer 1

Its up to him to show you the respect you deserve. If you dont feel he is doing enough to keep her at bay you need to point that out to him. But dont be a nagging ****** about either. After all you trust him.

Answer 2

You don't state what it is she is doing or saying that your husband said makes him feel uncomfortable at times. You also didn't say whether or not your husband has shared this with your co-worker. If he hasn't, why not? If he has and it continues then he will need to file a sexual harassment complaint after giving her one more serious warning to knock it off or he's going to HR.

If your husband hasn't said anything to her about her words/actions - then call him on it. He can't control her but he certainly can control how he responds/reacts to it.

Your jealousy (and I would be jealous, too, as most of us would if we are honest) could ruin the office atmosphere. There is nothing wrong with sharing with your husband that you feel jealous about what she is doing and/is or saying and his lack of stopping it even though you know he wouldn't cheat. And there is nothing wrong with asking him to put an end to it which he should have done already since he said it makes him uncomfortable. Sometimes honesty and truth is hard and painful because we don't want to admit that we have what folks think of as "ugly feelings" and jealousy would fall under that. Ignoring it won't help and exploding later down the line won't help but dealing with it now will. You can laugh when you tell him your feelings of jealousy but state they are real and it has to be dealt with. Smart couples do not intentionally make their spouses jealous and put the health of the relationship before other relationships. He can discourage the unwanted attention.

Answer 3

Well, I agree with most that your husband is going to have to be the one to say "hey, I'm married ya know, and this is inappropriate behavior at work", or he can use the whole "look I'm flattered, but I'm pretty sure that my wife wouldn't be". Start showing up at his desk when you know he's working with her just to give him a little kiss, or make lunch plans. Try calling his desk when you know she's there and make sexy conversation, and end the call where he says he loves you, and that may suffice, so long as she's got the point that he's happy and not interested. Good Luck!

Answer 4

She'd have a CRUSH alright!! Tell her real calm and real nice -that if she doesn't stop hanging around his desk like a female dog in heat-that you will slap the hair right off the top of her head. Then politely tell her to have a nice day. You can put the word out to her and really not have to say much at all. I'm assertive and I don't play. I've had to do the very same thing and I never raised my voice-but I don't like these kinds of women. They know it just by the way I look at them. they don't mess with me or my man.

Answer 5

If you guys are all friends and this "hottie" is younger, she may flirt with him because she knows he's safe; so, give her the benefit of a doubt. With that said, if your husband is uncomfortable at times, then he should set boundaries and let this girl know when it has gone too far. He can do this in a nice way without hurting her feelings. Simply reminding her that he's married (an obvious fact) could send the message. If you are the one who 'puts her in her place'; then she might start to resent you--thinking that HE still wants her "advances" to continue. He needs to be the one to handle it.

Answer 6

there is a possibility that your husband finds the female co-worker attractive. Maybe he finds her uncomfortable to be around as she is 'hot' and there is a possible temptation. I am not insinuating that he would cheat but he is a man.

You stated that 'i totally trust my husband and dont't fear that he'll stray'.

If you believe this, then why are you posting this?

Answer 7

Then you are a fool. You should always worry about the office hottie, she has more power than anyone in the office. Whatever you do don't let your husband know that you don't trust him (not that you do), but just be cool and let her know you take care of his needs...whatever they are. If I were you, I'd start hitting it hard with your hubby a lot, you need for him to not even think about the office hottie.

Answer 8

if you are all friends, then you won't worry about implying to keep her in place.... the fact that you want to keep her in place, it only means that you are bothered with her. if your husband told you that he is uncomfortable with it, then tell him that he must be the first one to imply that it's not a good gesture... your husband just have to shut her up rudely, or try to be overly bragging how he loves you and how he'll die of not loving you with that co-worker.... that should do the trick....
and i'll pray for that girl to be fired from her job! who needs a "the makin of a-snake" in a business anyways? it'll be a good riddance...go get her and push her in the stairs! (i wish someone would!) best of luck...

Answer 9

You don't have the power to keep her in her place or make her act professional. If you attempt to say something to her and your husband remains silent, it will give the appearance that he is ok with it, but you are a jealous, insecure female. Your husband is the one who has to nicely say something to keep her in check if her behavior is inappropriate.

Answer 10

I don't understand why, given that you state you trust your husband, that you need to "keep her in her place". It sounds like the situation is perfectly fine as it is. You haven't stated any reason why anything needs to change from the way it's going right now.