Is anyone else's mother Pressuring Them to Find out the Sex?

Question

My mother wants me to find out the sex of our baby.
That's fine becasue I want to know. I think it is totally up to the parents. She seems to think it is an inconvienience for those who wait to find out the sex, (like my older sister) because she wants to buy the baby stuff.

I got an ultra sound and asked the sex, the technician said only 75% sure...now my mother wants me to book another one to try to find out more...IS THIS RIGHT???

Is this right on her part?

(Serious answers only please)

Thanks for your advice everyone, all of your answers have helped me.

She just gets me so upset sometimes and I don't realize it until after we've talked...

Answer 1

My mother-in-law is the same exact way! When we were pregnant with our daughter we weren't sure if we wanted to find out her gender before she was born. My MIL actually told us to have the tech right down the gender and put it in a sealed envelop and give it to her... so she would know and we wouldn't! She wanted to know for the same reason, too... so she could buy baby things before the baby got here.

When we tell everyone that we're pregnant this time around, I plan on telling my in-laws that if we find out at the ultrasound they will know then, if we don't find out until the birth they will know then. However, if my MIL bugs to know what it is, we're going to find out and just not tell them (but they'll know that we know). It was bug her to no end, and she won't ask about it with future babies.

Really, if your mother wants another ultrasound to see about the gender, she can pay for it herself. Your insurance may only cover a set number of ultrasounds and those probably need to be recommended by the doctor. If she wants to know that badly, she can pay for it herself.

Also? The odds are not going to get any better with another ultrasound. I don't believe that they can ever be 100% sure about the gender until the baby is born. Make sure she knows that before she spends her money.

Listen. This is YOUR PREGNANCY! This is YOUR CHILD! Your mother should not have this sort of say over your pregnancy. You need to start making the big decisions now about what you want for your pregnancy and your child. Finding out the gender of your baby by ultrasound should have been your (and your husdand's, if you have one) decision, not your mother's. Personally, I would love to wait until this baby is born to find out what it is. My husband, however, wants to know. Because hubby wants to know, we're going to find out (if the baby cooperates!). I assure you, though, that only he and I will ever make that decision.

If your mother wants to buy baby things before hand, she can buy them in your 7-9 months and get gift receipts. Depending on the return policy of the store, she has more time to return the things if they turn out to be the wrong color.

You're going to be a mama soon. For the sake of your child, you need to learn to stick to your guns.

Congratulations and good luck!

Answer 2

Its a little rediculous if you ask me. My mom never found out what she was having - neither did my husbands mom. Now that I am pregnant - they bug me ALL THE TIME! (my mom isn't so bad ... my mother in law is horrible)
They have gone so far as to ask if they could find out - and just not tell me. Are you kidding? Of course I say no - I tell them that the baby is only in my belly for a matter of months - they'll have the kids whole life to buy things for it. I mean - an infant wears what? Onsies, diapers and a blanket. The second the baby is born they can go crazy. Just stand your ground.

Even if you do find out - I wouldn't tell them. I'm beginning to think that I won't tell them the name till after the baby is born either - that way there are no unwanted opinions. :) (lol I have no problem being harsh lol - it's my baby, my body, my decision - :)

Congrats and good luck!

Answer 3

if your physician orders another ultrasound for a medical reason, then fine - do it. if you ask for another one just to determine the sex, your health insurance may not pay for it. and, most doctors don't want to do ultrasounds, or any other procedures, any more than medically necessary - let your mother know that the baby can hear/feel those sound waves, by the way.

we wanted to know the sex of our first baby, and lucky for us, the 20 week ultrasound was 99% sure while i understand how your mother feels (it is easier when you know whether to buy pink or blue baby gifts), ultimately it's none of her business.

there is plenty of "stuff" to buy that is non-gender, and useful (hint hint: cribs and baby furniture are expensive - have mom buy those). the big drawback for us knowing we were having a girl, is 80% of all the baby gifts were NOT what we had registered for! we received over 10 pink blankies of various design, but absolutely none of the baby grooming or health care supplies, no home-babyproofing products. in fact most of the items on our registries were not purchased - we ended up returning a lot of stuff just to get the basic necessities.

Answer 4

My mom's the opposite, she thinks no first time mom should find out, they should be surprised. But older first time moms it's ok, and after your first baby it's ok. Right, she's odd.

Anyway, I totally think it's up to the parents to decide whether or not to find out. There will be plenty of time to buy gender specific items after the baby is here!

If they can't find out the sex of my baby, I'll just wait until delivery, but that's just me. If you are already scheduled to have additional ultrasounds, I'd wait for those. If not, see if you can get a gender ultrasound ~ some private clinics offer them even if you are not in their practice. And if it's your mom wanting to know so bad, maybe she'll pay for it!

Kelly

Answer 5

You may not get the option for another ultrasound unless your doctor thinks you need one. Otherwise you can pay for a 4d ultrasound through non medical staff, entertainment purposes really. Just google 4d ultrasound and you can find a store in your area. To answer your ? though, she can ask, but you and your partner will ultimately be the ones to decide. You stated you want to know too, so if you want another one then do it. Ultrasounds are pretty darn accurate but not 100%, there is room for error. Either way good luck and have a happy pregnancy.

Answer 6

If it bothers you not knowing the sex of your baby then by all means get another ultrasound. If it matters more to your mother then tell her youll get one if she pays for it. My son and his partner are expecting a baby and will find out next week if its a girl or a boy..... I want to know as soon as I can, because I need to know if I should buy pink or blue. Dont be cross with your mother, she is just excited about the baby.

Answer 7

Without wanting to insult your mother, I think she's being completely out of order!

It's your baby and your decision. There was no way I wanted to know the sex of my baby before he was born, that's part of the excitement to me, and I told my parents that in no uncertain terms before they had a chance to bring the subject up. If my Mum had started trying to push me into finding out I would have been extremely angry and upset.

Answer 8

Your pregnancy, your life, your decision !!!
Firmly, but nicely, tell Mum that you are quite happy with the 75% sure if you are. We used to like to guess in our day and relied on things like a girl's heartbeat being much faster than a boy's. Good luck with your Mum and have some patience with her, after all she wants to help by buying things for your baby. Be careful though that she doesn't take over!

Answer 9

I could understand that she is really excited about the baby and purchasing the stuff for him/her and probably ready to choose names but she prefers to be sure. However, if you are not in agreement with taking another ultrasound just to find out the baby's sex then you should not bother, but if you would like to know as well.............go 4 it. Just let her know this time that if the results still isn't certain that you will not go for another ultrasound. She is just really excited so excuse her.

Answer 10

Ultrasounds are a medical procedure. While widely used and considered to be safe, they do expose the fetus to radition. Therefore I think they should only be used for medical reasons, not for fun. Or to help grannies buy baby clothes!
I haven't found out the sex of my child and my mother constantly moans that she saw lovely baby clothes and couldn't buy them because they were all in pink or blue.
I just ignore her.
Your mum is obviously very excited, but don't do anything you are not happy with just to please her.