or something is bothering him, he wont talk about it. I can tell that something is wrong, and ask but he always says that he is fine. I know that he is not fine and that something is either wrong or happened? It scares me that he won't open up to me. On the other hand if he can tell something is bothering me then he expects me to tell him, and talk about it. What can I do to get mu husband to open up to me.
2007-03-21 03:28:45 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
women will tell u whats wrong in a heartbeat men need to work it out inside their head first then they talk about it give him his space tell him i love u give him hugs and kisses let him know ur there and on his side when and if he wants to talk about it dont fret the small stuff count ur blessings u can communicate and tell him that hes not only your husband hes ur best friend most loyal supporter so b his
2007-03-21 03:35:20 · answer #1 · answered by mmbmw2000 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok. Here is what you have to know
Men and women communicate very differently.
Women are more likely to just open up and discuss what is bothering them.
Men are NOT like that. From a young age we are told to bottle up our emotions. And if it is something that is really bothering him, or something he thinks you will make fun of, he is really not wanting to tell you.
Here is what you do
Men connect by doing things together. Ask him if he'd like to do something with you (like clean house, clean the garage, play basketball, go for a walk.) While doing these things, tell him you know something is bothering him, and you would like to help. Then SHUT UP and let it lie. As you are doing things with him, he will come to his own comfort level. You need to keep quiet, and let him open up to you.
He will.... it may take time, especially if it is somethign serious, or if it is something that he is afraid you will make fun of him for.
Men build relationships by DOING things together. That is also when they open up and talk about what is bothering them.
You will hear people say, give him a dose of his medicine. Or DEMAND he tell you what is bothering him. Those are the WRONG ways to handle a man who doesn't want to communicate. You need to tell him you something is botherin g him, and then let him know he sould talk to you when he is ready.
2007-03-21 10:47:05 · answer #2 · answered by Adorabilly 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The question would be is how long he's been this way. Does he ever open up or is he always that way? If he's always been that way he isn't mostly like to change his ways. If he's not, just let him be, let him come around and see what happens. I know it makes things worse when people push to get you to open up. Best Wishes!
2007-03-21 10:43:01 · answer #3 · answered by suzlaa1971 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it all depends on how things have been handled in the past
if he did say what was bothering him. did you?
throw it back in his face at some point?
not bother to consider what he was going through, just told him to "get over it"?
told him his feelings were stupid?
see where I'm going? if someone feels their bringing stuff up is pointless, they give up
show support and make it safe for him to open up
2007-03-21 10:38:05 · answer #4 · answered by ann s 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Demand the same expectations he demands from you!!
in a marriage you have to give 100% he also has to give 100%
But ... when he does open up reguardless what the reason ... do not judge harshly ...
be open to his thoughts and opinions like you would want him to be for you
let him know that you are a safe and loving outlet for him
2007-03-21 10:33:38 · answer #5 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Exactly I feel the same way. I ask mine what are you thinking about. He says"Nothing really, Just Stupid Stuff". I always tell him whats on my mind.
2007-03-21 10:41:14 · answer #6 · answered by clints_wench 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dont know why but it seems men dont like to show weakness. And maybe you could get a male friend or family member to talk to him. I wouldnt take it personally though .
2007-03-21 10:35:16 · answer #7 · answered by jodeefla1979 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he will talk when he is ready. what's up with all you girls always wanting to talk all the time? why can't you just think about why you are mad and think about how to respond to it before just speaking about it? he may be mad but you still need to WAIT for him to come to you to talk about it. pressuring him to talk will only make things worse. if he is mad and you know it...don't pressure him. he will talk to you when he is ready. this is not being mean...just sometimes certain individuals don't think on their feet as well as some. sometimes we need space to think about our responses before giving them. so don't rush. we are not ignoring you...we just need time and space to absorb what happend and why we are upset. k? just a little patience. k? thanks.
2007-03-21 10:37:03 · answer #8 · answered by cfalways 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
give him a dose of his own medicine... if something is bothering you, then don't make a word... if he asks, tell him you're fine. let him feel, what he have made you feel without you making a noise... you'll see then his reaction... if he explodes? tell him there is this great words of wisdom you've just heard-----"don't do unto others what you don't want others to do unto you...'
2007-03-21 10:43:00 · answer #9 · answered by lorms 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Talk with him (not AT him) and tell him that this really bothers you.
2007-03-21 10:40:42 · answer #10 · answered by kiwi 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋