My dear friend who I love to death just lost his little sister in a car accident. They were very close and he is heartbroken. He called last night crying. I was shocked and very sad, I listened and tried to make him feel better. I didn't know what to say, which is a first for me. I stupidly thought that I should talk about something else to get his mind off of it so he could fall asleep. Now I realize that that switching the topic to my spring break was an insensitive thing to do, but my intentions were good. What comforting things can you possibly say to someone who is grieving?
2007-03-21 03:26:38 · 11 answers · asked by goldengirl 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
And then he called early this morning and I was like 2/3 asleep and I think I was impatient with him from what I can remember. And this is when he needs me the most I feel awful :*(
2007-03-21 05:34:20 · update #1
TELL EM DAT UR VERY SORRY FOR THEIR LOSS AND U KNOW DER NOTHIN U CAN SAY OR DO TO MAKE IT BETTER BUT DAT IF HE NEEDS ANYTHING UR DER TO HELP OR LEND A SHOULDER TO CRY ON. N TELL HIM TO BE STRONG DAT SHES IN A BETTER PLACE NOW AND SHES STILL WATCHIN HIM N SHE WILL NOW BE HES GARDIAN ANGEL. AND HE CAN TALK TO HER WENEVER HE WANTS N SHE WILL COME TO HIM IN HES DREAMS AS LONG AS HE KEEPS TALKIN TO HER AND REMEMBERIN HER SHE WILL ALWAYS BE AROUND. TELL HIM HE MAY NOT SEE HER BUT IF CLOSES HES EYES IM SURE HE WILL BE ABLE TO FEEL HER DER. N TELL HIM TO REMEMBER THE GOOD TIMES DEY HAD. NOT EVER EVER FORGET HER LAUGH N HER SMILE... THINKIN OF DAT WILL BRIGHTEN UP HES DAY. N ALSO TRY N SEE IF U CAN GET HIM TO GO OUT SOMEWERE... BUT NOT RIGHT AWAY N HE MAY WANNA BE LEFT ALONE BUT STILL CALL HIM ATLEAST 1 OR 2 TIMES A DAY JUST TO SEE HOW HES DOIN. N DONT TELL HIM I KNOW HOW U FEEL. IF DAT TELL HIM I KNOW IT MUST BE PAINFUL, I HAVENT GONE THRU DAT JUST YET SO I CAINT RELATE BUT I KNOW I HOW MUCH I LOVED HER AND HOW MUCH SHE MEANT TO U BUT DER MUST HAVE BEEN A REASON TO WHY GOD TOOK HER NOW. IT MAY HAVE BEEN BETTER DAT SHE WENT NOW DAN TO HAVE SUFFERED HERE. GOD DOES THINGS FOR A REASON. N EVEN DOE WE MAY NOT ALWAYS UNDERSTAND WHY HE DOES THE THINGS HE DOES BUT WE MUST UNDERSTAND HE WILL NOT PUT US IN A SITUATION HE KNOWS WE CAN NOT HANDLE. I HOPE I HELPED... IM SORRY FOR UR FRIENDS LOSS... MY PRAYERS GO OUT TO HIM N HES FAM.
"GOD PLEASE GUIDE HER TO U AND PLEASE HELP HER FAMILY AND SURROUND THEM WITH LOVE FROM FRIENDS AND FAMILY"
2007-03-21 04:29:00 · answer #1 · answered by mperez637 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i'm sorry on your loss. If there's a God, i'm helpful he's being dealt with. you will possibly desire to easily cry it out. Crying is solid for the soul. It cleanses you deep down interior. while i'm grieving the shortcoming of somebody/some thing, I oftentimes purely cry till I make myself ill. For some reason puking till in basic terms abdomen acid comes up works for me. isn't that disgusting? possibly you laughed, possibly you're appalled, yet the two way you asked. My inner maximum condolences flow out to you and all people else this youthful guy's existence might have inspired. i wish which you would be able to tug with the aid of for the duration of the aggravating cases forward. Caitlin
2016-10-19 06:12:28 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Best to just listen to them and always be there for them.
You can just say that you are so sorry to hear of the
death, and if there is anything that you can do for them
to help them. In time, the grieving person will start to
talk about other things and then you can pick up with
the conversation. Just be sure to tell them that you
will be there for the person if they want to talk about
their dearly beloved.
2007-03-21 03:32:22 · answer #3 · answered by kathy f 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Listen. Listen. Listen. ....If you knew the sister, say things about her that will make him smile ....speak of her , but touch on the things that made her different and individual. Everyone feels like you do when this happens. Don't worry. He knows you care. God Bless!
2007-03-21 03:33:33 · answer #4 · answered by pooty36 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What helped me was when people would say 'I can't imagine' I hated it (and still do, but has gotten better) when people would feel sorry for my family. We are stronger and are just trying to live our lives.
I am sorry for your friend's loss. Just be there and listen. See if you can go shopping with him (I had a friend come with me to buy clothes for my dad's funeral and that was very helpfull).
2007-03-21 03:33:31 · answer #5 · answered by Jo 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think the best you can do is to say how sincerely sorry you are, and then just let them talk. There's nothing you can say that will make it okay or bring the loved one back, but you can let them know that you're with them.
2007-03-21 03:31:31 · answer #6 · answered by KyLeth 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just listening is good. If you know the person that died, talk about your memories of them and how much you liked them. Acknowlege their feelings, but don't say you know how they feel. You probably don't. You can say, "I wish I knew what to say to make you feel better, but I don't. If there is anything I can do, please let me know."
2007-03-21 03:32:51 · answer #7 · answered by swishyvt 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes the best thing to say, is nothing. If you can go to see him and just let him talk while you put your hand on his shoulder or hold his hand.
2007-03-21 03:30:27 · answer #8 · answered by shehearshim 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know what you shouldn't say is "they are in a better place now". I've heard that so many times when someone close to me dies, that i want to tell them to shut up when they say it.
2007-03-21 03:32:01 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
dont say anything --- lend him a shoulder to cry on and just be there for him
2007-03-21 03:30:42 · answer #10 · answered by Waterdragon 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋