I am not married yet; however, we are getting married next year. It's not that I don't get along with his family because I do, it's just that I don't really agree with somethings his family does which makes me and my fiance argue. How am I supposed to not care what is family does when I'm marrying into it??
2007-03-21 03:22:21 · 17 answers · asked by kat81886 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I don't
i have been with my husband for 9 years...
i do not know the inlaws phone number...
they are horrible people and i let him deal with them
just cuz you are with him doenst mean you have to be with them...
the right thing to do is forgive them for whatever reason
but they are people to and entitled to thier opinion...
so let them have it
but keep in mind your intitled to yours also
cut the apron strings and start your own family :)
2007-03-21 03:30:41 · answer #1 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You did not say what the differences or issues are but you hit the nail on the head when you said you are marrying into it. If you find it so offensive, you should reconsider marrying this person. We all grow up in households and cultures that we tend to carry with us all of our lives. Your fiance does not sound like he is willing to forego whatever this is and that would indicate he thinks you will either come around to his way of thinking. Sit down and pray and think really hard about whether you see yourself accepting this 20 years down the road. If not, call off the marriage. Some things are difficult to overcome in a marriage...different morals, values and beliefs being some of the hardest.
2007-03-21 03:30:05 · answer #2 · answered by curious74432 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Kat you must remember that you will marry him and not his family. Sometimes there's a family out there that's will stick their opinion where it doesn't belong. Your fiancee do not understand the position that your in with his family, but the next time you told him,tell him not to judge you yet before you can finish your point, and maybe you can tell him what if he was in your shoes and your family was making him feel that he doesn't know anything, ask him what will he feel.
And if this does not help, I know it will be hard for you,but try to keep it to yourself and ignore what his family is trying to say to you,( listen to them nd at the same time,smile and let it out in your other ear),...I hope that it works........
2007-03-21 03:45:23 · answer #3 · answered by islandgirl06 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you really have to know that when you get married you are becoming part of their family....so make sure you will be able to respect their decisions and get along with them.
You will need their support if you and your husband argue or one of you gets sick or has an accident or you have children.
I don't know what his family does, but as long as it isn't illegal or amorale what should you care? If it is illegal or amorale and you know you want nothing to do with it, you need to explain that to your partner and decide if you are willing to risk your future on a family that condones such things. Maybe marriage to this particular guy wouldn't be such a good idea.
For your sake, I hope its not that bad....good luck
Do it now before you get married, because its alot harder to have this conversation afterwards.
2007-03-21 03:30:13 · answer #4 · answered by Mangomum 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband is Greek and his family is loud, huge and constantly around. Fortunately, once we got married - all the get togethers became less and less. What helps is that my husband is always working so chances are, we won't be able to go to the parties. Then his sister alienated him, his other sister and the dad so we now don't have to see the cousins at all anymore. It's been BLISS. Be nice when you're around them, but ignore and avoid them as much as possible. I hate big family gatherings so I totally understand.
2007-03-21 03:45:45 · answer #5 · answered by Rachel 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My in-laws' relationship with my husband drives me nuts. I clench my teeth and stress out when we have to visit. It sucks. I think the best way I have learned to deal with it is to stay as neutral as possible during the visit. I also find it helpful to remind myself that my husband didn't grow up in my household so he can't see the same things that I can. At least that way I can sympathize a bit with what he has to deal with and that, in turn, calms me when we visit. Good luck!
2007-03-21 03:36:35 · answer #6 · answered by VNCGirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't get along with my in-laws at all. But because I love my husband to death I put up with alot. Just try and remember that your new life is with your husband and try and just smile and nod if you don't agree. Just try to tolerate for the love of your husband and don't let them come in the middle of your marriage.
2007-03-21 03:29:00 · answer #7 · answered by danczar1 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its almost like you get them all as part of the bargain. I have my wifes ex husband and his faily added to the mix as well. I could come home to no one or a houseful. You just have to deal with it is all. Dont let it be a wedge in your marriage.
2007-03-21 03:30:31 · answer #8 · answered by Devdude 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you may be marrying into the family but every individual in each family has their own beliefs and opinions. And you are marrying him not them.
2007-03-21 03:31:14 · answer #9 · answered by Stitch 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you don't have to agree with anything his family does; they are allowed to make their own decisions in life. You are not in charge of them, you are only in charge of yourself and it's ridiculous to be arguing between the two of you about things his family decides.
2007-03-21 03:26:50 · answer #10 · answered by abc 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋