my oldest son lives with my ex husbend who was extremely abusive and i worry about his emotional well being (ex was never abusive to children) any way i currently not in the situation as to being able to acomidate 1 more child as at this moment i live in a 2 bedroom place wit h4 kids as well as 2 adults at this time trying to find a job so i can save money to find a bigger place im so worried about his emotional well being the ex has been telling him he never touched me and that i basically abandoned him imput please
2007-03-21 03:20:52 · 9 answers · asked by dolphinloversmith 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
and dont be mean
2007-03-21 03:21:08 · update #1
yes i call him frequently and visit as much as possiable being that he lives 6 hours away
2007-03-21 03:26:19 · update #2
he is 8 and we talk alot plus he nos he can call whenever he wants no matter what im at this time talking to his school so he can talk to a counsler
2007-03-21 03:33:58 · update #3
First of all - if your child was more than three years old when the abuse occurred , he will have memories of it. Whatever your ex tells him will not erase what he remembers happening. Just make sure your son knows you did not abandon him. Keep telling him how much you love him and that you are working hard to improve your living situation so that he can come back and live with you if that is what he wants. What you should NOT do - is to involve him in a tug of war with your ex. He will respect you more in the end for not telling him the ugly details of the break-up. When he is ready , he will probably bring up his dad's abuse. Kids are very resilient - I wouldn't worry too much about his emotional state . Kids are hurt more than anything when they are caught between two warring parents. Just try to stay positive and continue to work to improve your own life. You son will look up to you for taking the high road. Good luck!
2007-03-21 03:30:45 · answer #1 · answered by arkiemom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, if I understand you correctly, you are worrying about the well being of your son, but are unable to "accommodate" him. Aside of either taking the child out of a harmful environment, which is what you should do if you truly believe that his emotional well-being is at stake, or you can try to get your ex husband involved in a counseling situation, that would also include you, for your son. If the ex refuses, go to court and seek for the judge to make it mandatory that he cooperate.
You should be able to communicate with your son, you dont mention his age.
2007-03-21 03:31:16 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you maintain contact with your son? A phone call from you on a regular basis will go a long way towards damage control until you can do something more about the situation.
2007-03-21 03:24:26 · answer #3 · answered by jhvnmt 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just make sure you keep in contact with him, have you asked him if he wants to stay at his dads. he might be OK with this. also have a word with your ex and tell him no mater how much he hates you he should love your son as in not to damage him by saying his mom's abandoned him. have tried family mediation? visit your son as much as possible invite him for tea. let him know you you love him. hope it gets sorted soon. cant the state help you get a bigger house, (if in UK go to Council)
2007-03-21 03:36:46 · answer #4 · answered by RACHEL B 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't just say you are worried, you need to do something! You are his mother and he needs you. Why did he get left behind? Once you have four to care for what is one more? Call someone and get help for him. If he is effected by this it is on you as well as the father. Get help for him!
2007-03-21 03:27:13 · answer #5 · answered by kitkat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know that you are worried about your son...but trust your innermost instincts here...if you feel something is happening to your son then you have to listen to your gutt....otherwise he should be ok there...I think he will tell you if he is made to feel bad in any way.
2007-03-21 03:30:17 · answer #6 · answered by Shanni1 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just talk to your son every day, as a mom, you can tell how your child feeling is by the way he talks. just keep a close tab on him.
2007-03-21 03:25:45 · answer #7 · answered by harmony 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do ANYTHING it takes to protect your children. Stop making excuses. This is your child!
2007-03-21 03:26:38 · answer #8 · answered by micky 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
pray about this sweetheart! your in my prayers,and god bless!
2007-03-21 03:27:19 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋