I live in the state of Maine and I want to move my family to Texas...my ex and I have a 6 year old child, I have not told him about wanting to move yet as I want to know my rights first..before I approach him, but what can I do if he puts and injunction on me about not moving my son so many miles away..what if it says I can only move with in so many miles? Do I have any recourse..how can one person tell another person where they can live and if they can move or not??? Seems like a violation against my rights.....I will not move with out my son..we have joint custody but I have primary residence......I just want to move but I know he is going to give me a hard time.....my husband is deployed in Texas and may be there for 2 years.....
2007-03-21 03:19:57 · 6 answers · asked by Dark Goddess 3 in Politics & Government ➔ Law & Ethics
my son sees his dad 2 weekends a month....which was his dads choice..when there is 5 weeks in a month he gets that extra weekend.....we were never married
2007-03-21 03:34:50 · update #1
Well, remember the question isn't what your ex is "telling" you to do; it's what's in the best interests of your child. If the court believes that the move would provide the best benefit, even if your ex would have less visitation opportunities, then you may be allowed.
But two things to consider: (1) You gave up your "flight of fancy" when you brought a child into the world. In many situations the law will look to what's best for HIM, not what you want to do. Children bring restrictions on freedom -- you can't just walk out of the house for two weeks; you can't just drag him with you to a strip club; and you can't just up and move wherever you want when it's going to hurt him.
(2) When you filed for divorce, you knew you'd have to compromise. Your ex has just as much of a right to see his kid as you do, even if you're the primary caregiver (and especially since you have joint legal custody!) If you, for whatever reason, want to move away, with the effect of depriving him of those rights, he should object. It's in the best interests of your child for him to know, trust, and love both of his parents.
(3) Why are you leaving? Are you getting a better job to provide more income for your family? Are you moving nearer your extended family, where your son will get more love and support? Then maybe a court will see that the move is in the best interests of your child, even if that means fewer visitations by Dad.
(4) Can you work something out with the father? Maybe longer visitation in the summer (1-2 months instead of 1-2 weeks?) to make up for the lack of weekend visits? Don't go into this thinking he's going to be obstructionist. Think about your options, why you think this is best, and what you're willing to give up to make it work.
Also, depending upon how new this is, you should engage your lawyer to be prepared for the legal ramifications and so you know what the true consequences will be before you're in front of the judge on a restraining order.
2007-03-21 03:30:29 · answer #1 · answered by Perdendosi 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Honestly, you're going to have to fight this one out if your ex tries to stop you. You have to convince the Court that you can move without disrupting your ex's parental rights. It both helps and hurts you that your son is 6 years old. Since he's 6, he's in school and your ex will lose visitation during the school year. It helps because he's nearly able to fly alone (different airlines/different rules). It will be helpful that your husband is deployed to Texas. The Judge will not want to jeopardize your marriage. This is a very tough call for the Court. I've seen these cases in my career and it could go either way--especially if your ex is a good father. Forget about what "your rights" are. I don't say that to be harsh--this is "unfair" in your mind, but it is acceptance time for you. You have joint custody and location is part of the reason you have joint custody. The Court can stop you, so concentrate on finding a solution. Offer your ex and the Court more holidays, more of the summer, all mid-year school breaks, all long weekends, etc. Figure out how many days of visitation he has now and try to keep it nearly the same. Offer to pay plane fare. Finally--put yourself in your ex's position. What if he had primary phsical custody and wanted to move--how would you feel? Looking at it from his viewpoint, see what you can offer that is the least disruptive to his relationship with his son and still preserves your marriage.
2007-03-21 10:38:39 · answer #2 · answered by David M 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Most likely you will need a family law attorney if you ex-objects to letting your child leave the state
Without being able to read what ever court order, custody order you two have, I will assume that you can not take the child out of state w/o the permission of the other parent
Now it is not impossible to move, but if the ex objects you will need a lawyer, will have to go to court and have a mini trial almost to determine if it is in the best interest of the child to move, which has many factors how much is the ex in the child's life, you may be required to modify current visitation where ex gets most holidays, you pay for the flight back and forth etc
Hence why best bet to talk to a lawyer first before you do anything
2007-03-21 10:29:18 · answer #3 · answered by goz1111 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, your ex cannot tell you what to do. That's up to a court.
I would, first, strongly encourage you to sit down with your ex and talk about this or to reconsider your decision to move altogether. Your rights and those of your ex pale in comparison to the rights of your son to enjoy a healthy relationship with his father. If your ex and your son have been enjoying regular visitation all along and they suddenly stop because you want to move to TX, how do you think your son will be affected?
Should your ex decide to pursue this matter in court -- and frankly, I would advise him to -- then yes, he can ask the court to modify the child custody order to prevent you from moving so far away from him as to prevent even the barest visitation schedule or, in the absence of that, he may seek full custody.
Like most family court matters, the decision could go either way.
Divorce is hard enough on a child without adding another 2,000 miles between them and their non custodial parent, don't you think?
2007-03-21 10:38:26 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You lost a certain amount of "your rights" when you became a parent. He is not "your" son alone, he has a father - and that father has every right to fight to see his son and keep his son from being taken from his as you do.
If it were my child I would give you a "hard time" as well! The father has a legal right to see his child, and if the two of you cannot work out an agreement then you will have to take it to court and battle it out there. The father has JOINT CUSTODY which means he has rights too not just you.
2007-03-21 10:31:20 · answer #5 · answered by Susie D 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
DON"T GO! TEXAS IS BAAAAAAD
2007-03-21 10:34:59 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋