i really do need expert advice on this.when i was 17 my mum forced me in2 having an abortion,i no ur gonna say i should of stood up 2 her but if u knew her you would understand i had no choice!me & my mum dont really get on an i cant talk to her about anything any more!just over 2 year ago when i was 21 i got pregnant again 2 my b/f of now almost 5 yrs,he told me if i didnt get & abortion he would leave me,he told his parents i was prgnant & obviously they were backing him(he is 14month younger than me).his parents never really liked me but things have got better.i no as soon as he gave me the ultimatum i should have kicked him out the door but i grew up not knowing my father and i would never want that for my children!i have no friends,im quite a shy reserved person and my best friend moved abroad 3 yr ago, ive not heard from her since.anyway whenever i hear of som1 being pregnant all i feel is hate & resentment,how do i overcome these awfull feeling & just be happy 4 the mum 2b??
2007-03-21 02:56:59 · 14 answers · asked by steffibaby24 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
each time i got pregnant i was on the pill so i didnt understand how it had happened, obviously i didnt take it correctly. ive been in my current job as finance director for 2 years now but i work in a small company with all women who spend all their time bitchin an backstabbing so i cant really talk to these guys!
2007-03-21 03:12:10 · update #1
Your bitter because you have let yourself be manipulated by others. You should really begin by loving yourself and becoming your own best friend. A child without a father could have been your companion so your wouldn't have felt alone. You would have showered the baby with love and affection that which you haven't received from others. You've been through alot and you have to forgive yourself, when you do that you will have peace. Have you tried praying?
2007-03-21 03:24:15 · answer #1 · answered by Charisma 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you're bitter because you've been put in a horrible position by the 2 people you're closest to.
your mum probably thought she was doing the right thing, as sometimes having a baby that young is not the best thing to happen. but last time you were older and should have been allowed to make the decsion without pressure.
i think you need to talk to someone about your feelings and how best for you to deal with this. if you contact your doctor they should be able to put you in touch with a counselling service who will help you to come to terms with how you're feeling. You should've been offered some sort of counselling at the time of the abortions maybe get back in touch with the clinic where you had the procdure.
good luck.
2007-03-21 10:12:59 · answer #2 · answered by Gyp77 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is understandable for you being so bitter. Maybe you should start some therapy because this is really something not easy to deal with. First of all, there's no such thing to think about the "what if" scenarios, what is done is done. Now you are grown up, don't get along with your mom, apparently your boyfriend was a jerk for not supporting the kid and you have to stand up for yourself and start a job if you don't have one already and support your kid. life goes on and everyone has the strengh to keep going. you are healthy and still young so there is nothing keeping you from achieving the goal to be a good mother. and soon you will see that the bitterness will fade away, believe in yourself & good luck!
2007-03-21 10:04:46 · answer #3 · answered by Helo M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why be bitter about somthing you cant change if you keep dwelling on this you will be bitter for the rest of your life now you dont want that! its time to add closure and move on with your life my second bit of advice to you is get rid of that boyfriend if he can put ulltimations like that to u hes not worth a second thought cause no matter how nice hes being he doesnt care wot u feel or think hes all self! self! self! i definitaly think you need councilling cause it a traumatic thing to go through once never mind twice so go get strong darl + show the world u got ur own mind U CAN DO IT BELIVE IN YOURSELF AND WATCH WHAT HAPPENS. GOOD LUCK U DESERVE IT.
2007-03-21 15:18:14 · answer #4 · answered by allison754660 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
DO NOT have anyone force you into doing something you don't want to do....if he's given you an ultimatum....then just walk out that door and make your own way in your life....i must urge you to get protected the next time you have sex with anyone, seems that your mother and b/f don't care much about how you feel, so if i were you, i would make my own way....they do not own you...it's your body....you feel resentment because no one in your life have supported you...all they have given you is negative feedback....go your own way hun, and be your own person, in time to come, you'll find someone who really loves you for you....concentrate on yourself and your future....negative people bring unhappiness, take one day at a time and learn how to be happy for other mums to be....your time will come hun...but if you are as anxious as you say...seek some help to overcome it.....stay strong and move on
2007-03-21 10:05:42 · answer #5 · answered by Dazzlebox 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You had a right not to have an abortion as its your choice. At 17 and even now. However the past is the past. o uneed to stand up to your bf and let him know that you want this baby and your not going to abort it. He has no say father or not. There are a lot of fish in the sea. My step dad was more of a father to me that my real one that planted the seed. You can find someone else if your man cannot stand by your side. You need to read your Bible. and pray
2007-03-21 10:05:02 · answer #6 · answered by MJ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This must be hard for you but why be bitter of the pregnant moms. if you have bitter feelings it should be for your mom and boyfriend. Having two abortions is just to much and with each one you are hurting the chance to carry a baby full term. It sounds like it is time for you to grow up! get a job and move out on your own. your boyfriend sounds like a loser that he would leave you for him getting you pregnant I would not stay with him. He knows you will do his bidding now and use it to take advantage of you from now on. Good luck.
2007-03-21 10:05:40 · answer #7 · answered by Mary B 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i would be bitter ! it sounds to that you really wanted these babies. but there is nothing you can do now. you need to understand the situation and also look at it from your mums point of view and look where your at today.i am against abortion. i can not have my own children.so i feel your bitterness toward the world,and toward any with children and/or expecting. the one thing that keeps me going and getting up every day is God.i turned to him when i had no one else to go to.i don't know your faith or religion.he can ease your pain and loneliness,and bring comfort and understanding to your life and to your heart.
the next time you get in this situation,go with what your heart tells you,and not by what would make everyone else happy
2007-03-21 10:50:34 · answer #8 · answered by chrissy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What happened in the past is an experience you can always fall back on to make you a better and stronger person. You sound like you are a whole new person now and you handle things differently just use your experience to steer your life in a positive way and accept that what happened in the past could be A BLESSING IN DISGUISE.
2007-03-21 10:19:35 · answer #9 · answered by Pingles 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh you poor girl I feel so very sorry for you, of course you feel bitter and resentful towards others who have children or who are about to have them, you had no choice but to have yours taken away, I really think you need to go see your doctor and tell him just exactly how your feeling and hopefully he will sort out some counselling for you as personally I really think you could do with it, you have been through so much and before you can move on with your life you need to sort this hurt and anger out before it takes over your entire life and totally ruins it, you have so much to look forward to in life as much as you probably don't feel like that right now, but you have, please go talk to your GP and hopefully very soon you will feel better about everything, the best of luck to you.
2007-03-21 10:04:35 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋