Why do people get divorced the minute they feel they aren't compatible instead of working things out?

Question

At least try, dammit.

Answer 1

Because our society has become lazy. We don't want to put effort into anything. If our kids get into trouble, it's because of tv and there's nothing we can do. If it's hard to find a job, quit trying and rely on welfare. And if you don't have the perfect fairy-tale marriage, quit and find another one.

Answer 2

people dont the minute things arent compatible. Most stay in a bad marriage for many years befor deciding on divorce. You have absolutely no idea about the details of these peoples lives. Getting a divorce was by far the hardest thing Ive ever done, I in no way took it lightly.

Answer 3

No fault divorce laws passed in the 60s and 70s as the result of the women's movement made it easy for people to just bug out when times got uncomfortable.

Many people attempt to walk away from problems, but problems follow them. They blame others and often the focus is on the spouse as they are generally the easiest target.

I believe divorce like abortion should be rare and only in cases of Infidelity or abuse.

Here is my take, people marry for a reason, generally it's because they "love" each other. I believe often people fail to kindle and keep alive in relationships because they lose "that feeling". Love is not a feeling, it is an action. It is doing each day what is needed. Sometimes I am really pissed at my wife, "pre-that-time-o-da-month" is generally the worst. And I know I drive her nutz as well at time. The trick is to get through those times.

We made a pact after we had some hard times several years ago that included a separation, divorce and remarriage to not ever get to that point again, so we work on it. we go on dates once a week without kids, try and talk throughout the day and make sure we connect.

The problem with divorce is generally it doesn't resolve a person's own character problems that lead to it to begin with.

There are no guarantees. But the point is to keep one foot in front of the other and keep moving.

My grandparents and parents have both celebrated 50 yrs. I know my folks don't always get along. My mom drives dad crazy at times with her activities.

Marriage is a one day at a time activity as well. in this world we live in too many people live in yesterday or live in tomorrow and p*ss on today.

Answer 4

for various reasons, to start with; the modality now a days is: If they love me , they have to accept me the way I am, instead of saying if I love this person, I'm gonna get rid of the things that are not beneficial for us. They don't get married thinking is for life, they say well... if it doesn't work I can always get a divorce, they don't think is bad or inappropriate to keep flirting ( including chatting) with strangers, and they let the door wide open for chances of infidelity, and laws don't punish that, on the other hand they get better off after the divorce, even when they didn't bring anything to it. People is confused regarding their roles as woman and men and that even though they don't recognize it, makes them uncomfortable in the relationship and that leads to fights and misunderstandings. And finally because people doesn't start protecting they marriages before they start having problems because they are "so in love" and they don't see anything wrong, they start investing time and ears to it when the damage is done, instead of protecting they are only reacting to the problems.

Answer 5

We in America at least have been conditioned to think that we should get our way.
Our culture is shallow and we emphasis hedonistic values.
"What's in it for me?" and, "I deserve more!"
The media compounds this with image after image of men cheating, women fantasizing about men other than her spouse, sexual and beautiful people and the thought that life is short and we deserve more.
Unfortunately, Marriage is a vow to share, work and support each other thru this maze called life.
We forget this vow when times are good,taking our spouse for granted, we forget how to act and resentments build over many issues.
I also think that we spread ourselves so thin these days that our partners are not as important because we don't have time to reinforce the marriage.

Answer 6

It's because we live in a society that preaches a me first mentality, saying that you have to look out for number 1, instead of putting your spouse and their feelings and needs before your own. Also we are in a throw away society that says if your not happy, look for something better, people see the first signs of trouble in their marriage and instead of actually working at it to improve it, they would rather walk away, and most times are more miserable than they were before they divorced and later regret it.

Also people go into marrige not really knowing the person they are getting married to. They are so excited about getting married that they don't truely know the person they get married to intimatly. And when I say that I don't mean sexually, what it means is they don't know them deeply and know them well.

I think if people took the time to really get to know their partner before they get married, and worked hard at making their marriage work, especially when conflicts arise in their marriage, they need to work hard to resolve these conflicts instead of running away from them.

I agree, people at least need to try.

And I agree with some of the others, we have gotten lazy where we expect things to be done for us instead of doing them ourselves.

Hope that this helps.

Take care and God Bless

Answer 7

It's not usually the minute they realize they are incompatible. What normally happens is that there is a long build-up of things until one person finally has the guts to say, "Wow, I was so blind and wrong to marry you - you are NOTHING like you were when we were dating. I made a HUGE mistake and can't stand to be near you." At that point they have a decision to make: stick it out and try to make it work, or realize that they fell victim to infatuation and didn't really mean their vows.

Answer 8

Every girl wants the white wedding and their special day.

Unfortunately most don't plan for the future before they plan for their wedding. I mean ask the hard questions, make decisions about money, children and goals in life and how they will achieve them before the big day. Its hard work and the aura of "love" allows us all to discard reality when going for the gold band.

And finally, most people regard things in life as disposable. If it doesn't work on the first try, take it back and get something better.

I realize divorce should be the final painful option for married couples who are not getting along, but unless one of you totally beat the crap out of the other mentally or physically or one of you has cheated...you haven't worked on your marriage hard enough to let it go.

Answer 9

The kind of advice you get on sites such as this dont help either: 'Dump', 'run', 'kick out'. Divorce is so convinient these days, for some, there is a ton of money to be made and some realise that they cant live up to the responsibilites of being married anymore: not have sex with another person, pay bills etc.

Answer 10

People rarely divorce for no reason at all. Life is too short to be miserable. People used to have to stay in miserable marriages as they had no other options. Now they do. You see many responses touting the "good ol' traditional days" and I can tell you that there was nothing good about the traditional days according to my grandparents, great aunts and the like. Many of them were not allowed to work outside the home and were trapped in crappy marriages. The only relief they got is when their spouses died. That is a shame and sad. I'd much rather live in culture where divorce is rampant than in one where people are trapped with no way out.

Answer 11

Because people who enter into marriage do not take time to know each other very well. People rush into marriage because they see their friends getting marriage then at the end of day the once unseparable couples becomes enemies. i also think that in a marriage one person would have to be a fool to ensure peace and understanding in the marriage, but here is the case everybody thinks the he or she is the master. Word of God says What God has put together let no man put asunder. God have mercy on us.