Having just answered a question on whether a girl should invite her obviously wicked dad to her wedding..it got me thinking seriously about grudges. I havent been in contact with my bro or sis for about 4 year...this has sort of been enforced by them. They treated me really abdly when we did see each other and I always yearned for what they couldnt be to me - ie. just my bro and sis not judges on my life or personality. I am a fairly decent person and feel they ahve always misjudged me...do I give it a go after all this time. I dont know how I feel about this or how I would deal with the rejection....which to be fair is likely.
2007-03-21 02:25:50 · 7 answers · asked by The Real Mrs Incredible 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Of course you are all right there is no way hat anyone could comprehensively answer this q without knowing about it all...I have this urge to reconnect with them, but ultimately know I will be rejected. I didnt reject them. I have a very loving family of my own and am in a very healthy place right now and part of me really wants to forget about the bro and sis, but there is the other part that needs soem sort of resolution even if it is rejection...one last try.
2007-03-21 02:44:13 · update #1
I think you will always regret it if you don't make some sort of effort at reconciliation.Howerver you seem fairly sure you will be rejected and that is not healthy. I suggest you start with a card (perhaps a birthday card), choose one of those that says what you feel but keep your own words to just a short greeting. That way they can choose to believe or disbelieve the sentiments of the card and respond or not. Either way you will avoid baring your soul and risking getting crushed.
Sometimes you have to just move on and stop looking back. You'll know when it's time.
2007-03-21 11:53:36 · answer #1 · answered by irisheyes 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
All you can do is reach out to them...You of course risk rejection but at least then you would have your answer. You might consider writing each of them a letter first which you use to tell them what you said here and your interest in being a part of their lives and have them be part of yours. I think since you have had some issues that you would all need to make some rules or set boundaries for this to work. You might want to meet for lunch or coffee as starters and see how short periods of time together go. You might want to agree that certain issues are not to be discussed to prevent arguments. Agree not to disagree or judge one another. Hope this works out for you. If not, go to therapy and have someone help you see the situation and work things through using your own reasoning skills.
2007-03-21 02:52:59 · answer #2 · answered by curious74432 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel for you because I have been in the same situation with my family since our mom died, none of us can get on with each other anymore so we have just got beyond making up, but if you really feel you want to be in contact with your family I would suggest a letter from the heart, give them a few weeks to respond which if they really do care about you will happen, if they don't then sorry but you have to move on from it as hard as it is, you cannot spend the rest of your life blaming yourself and living under a cloud if they aren't prepared to at least talk things through with you, families are strange things and unfortunately we can't always see eye to eye with each other but in the same respect you don't have to lower your standards to be a yes man or whipping boy for them either, good luck and hope what ever you decide works out for you.
2007-03-21 03:13:19 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
A very hard question to answer. I can empathise with you, but I don't really think we can give you any sort of helpful answer, as we don't know all the 'ins and outs'. Think hard about why you feel you want contact again after all this time, when they didn't treat you very well when you were in contact. Are they likely to have changed? Have they made any sort of effort to contact you? Whatever you decide, good luck, I hope you don't get too hurt all over again!
2007-03-21 02:32:13 · answer #4 · answered by jet-set 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know what you are going through. Kinda anyway, me and my biological mom are like that. Anyway....
it is going to bug you until you know for sure. So give them a call, arange a meeting if you can, and tell them how you feel. CRy kick and scream!! Do whatever you have to to let them know what they have done, and what they can do. Life is all about risk, honey, and if you don't take them, then you will just sit on the sidelines for the rest of the game.
2007-03-21 02:34:15 · answer #5 · answered by Linka 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
here is what you do, you try to contact them and see if they will meet and talk to you, you only have family for a short time, when there gone thats it there gone, why spend all this time apart when maybe one meeting would solve the whole thing...then if you try and they say NO, you know down in your heart YOU TRYED
2007-03-21 02:31:01 · answer #6 · answered by bluelitttt 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
how old are you, out of curiousity? in your 20's?
Write them both a letter, explaining that you love them both and although the three of you may not agree with the decisions each of you make in your lives, they are yours to make AND you are brother and sisters which lasts a lifetime and you are family no matter what.
2007-03-21 02:29:00 · answer #7 · answered by abc 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋