Wife wants to quit work?

Question

My wife just informed me that she wants to stay home after our baby is born. I make pretty good money but not sure i can afford everything on my own. We are buying a new house, then i would have to take over her car payment, car insurance, student loans, credit cards as well as put everyone on my health insurance which would be another $800 a month....what do i do

I should also state that she makes about 50k a year that we would have to completely take out of our budget and right now her employer has full family health insurance

Answer 1

I can see why you're concerned. The majority of advice you're going to get is from stay at home moms who have nothing better to do (this will illicit negative points). You have every right to be concerned. While some shmoe brought up saving $800 per month on day care, that only amounts to $9600 per year. While that's not chump change, in no way does it make up for the loss of 50K per year. Tell your wife that though you'd love for her to stay home, you can't afford it. Part time won't cut it either. Working parttime cuts benefits and many companies don't offer parttime positions - she'd have to take an hourly position. Then she'd truly be working to pay the sitter. Present her with your bills, mortgage etc. and explain why it's a no go. Remember - you have a say in this as well.

Answer 2

I stopped working a little over a year ago. We had a bad change in management and it just wasn't worth it anymore. But before I quit, I made sure my car was paid off. We switched from my husband's work insurance back to the military insurance to save money. We also stopped using credit cards and eating out every weekend. It really hasn't affected us by doing those small things. In fact, we're in a better financial situation now than when I was working. Before I was able to spend any amount of my paycheck I wanted, but now we really ask ourselves if we really need it or just want it. If you really can't afford to have her stop working, then see if she'll compromise in working just until one of those expenses is paid off. Don't forget the cost of daycare for a newborn will run you way over $100 a week. That will be a nice saving for you if your wife does stay home.

Answer 3

The best thing you can do is to create an example of your monthly budget now and then without your wife working. If you can afford to pay the bills adding the new expenses for the baby, then you and your wife have to decide if that is enough for you to live on.

Make sure you both can live happily on that reduced income. Discuss how things will change and how bills will be tighter.

It does not sound like a great idea for your wife to stop working after having the baby. What might be smarter is to work out a way to complete some of her student loans and her car payment before she stops working. That might mean that she has to go back to work for some or all of a year, but it could put you in a much better place when and if she then stops working.

Take care,
Troy

Answer 4

Sounds like your already doing the Math...the question is, what do you want. Theres always a way to make things work if thats what you really want. Sometimes that involves sacrafice. But you and your wife need to be on the same page , or financial stress will quickly turn to animocity. If your not ready to take on total financial responsability of your household , then tell her. On the other hand if you do take it on , don't hold it against her after the fact , you have your chance to speak up. Good luck , Tuff issue.

Answer 5

I stayed home with my baby and did not return to work. Shes 2 now and Im still at home with her, but would like to go back to work soon. My husband wasnt making much money at all at first, only about $2000 a month. It was rough, to say the least, but we made it. Now he makes over twice that and we are doing fine. You have to really get your priorities straight, learn to budget and save money, and keep communication open with your wife. Ya know, she will most likely be back to work within 3 years anyway. It sure would be sweet of you to at least sit down, look at the numbers and really try to make it work. Thats prolly all she really wants from you right now anyway. If she makes $50K a year im assuming shes not a dumb woman. Im sure yall can work something out...Congrats on your baby and good luck!

Answer 6

WOW! that is alot to have thrust upon you at one time.

If you do not think that you can afford it, figure in the cost of child care (daycares will give you a weekly rate, call a few) with BOTH of your salaries right now. Chances are, you may NOT be able to afford for her to work after the baby is born. You can get a tax break on child care, but it is AFTER you have already paid for it.

Good luck to you, this is a difficult thing for the two of you to work out.

Maybe she could work part-time. But mostly, if it is going to be hard for you to handle all of this on your own, she needs to know this and really it should of been discussed BEFORE the two of you had a child on the way. Marriages break up because of this issue.

Answer 7

This is something you two definitnely need to sit down and discuss. You need to sit together and write down all your bills, expenses, and future expenses for the coming baby. When written down in black and white you will have some real information to discuss together. It might be that your wife can work part time. Totally quitting and losing $50,000 per year is a really big hit. Losing her health insurance is another big loss. I hope you two can work this out.

Answer 8

The two of you need to sit down and go over all monthly expenses are your income. Be sure to think about the expenses after the baby is born, too. You should also make a list of expenses related to your wife working: clothing, commuting costs, etc. and what child care would be if your wife continued to work. After you do this, you can have a better idea if you can afford to have your wife stay home, and how much she really brings in if she continues to work.

Answer 9

don't panic, heck you will be saving $800 a month in daycare for a baby if your wife stays home; sell the car, get one that is reliable but not new (the insurance will go down as well); cut back on eating out, movies, I think if the two of you sit down together and go over what you have to have, this will be do-able

added note: she will have at least 6 weeks paid maternity leave; perhaps after that she can go on the Family Leave, that way she won't have to quit her job and you two can give it a whirl and see how it works out before she makes a final decision.

oh and to the comment in one of the answers; I am not, nor was I a stay-at-home mom; I have worked since my children were 8 weeks old; they are now 21 and 18; I would have loved to have stayed home with the kids during their early years, but couldn't.

Answer 10

sit down with her and have a sensible conversation about the bills and see if there is anything extra you could cut back on. You can cut out the things that are not nessities but you don't want to put a strain on yourself either just explain it to her. most devorces in the U.S. are money related.