My friend was raped last year. She only told me and never pressed charges. Since then she has slept with two men that she had started relationships with. She told both of them what had happened and both ran a mile.
She is upset because not only has that man ruined her life once but he's also ruining any chance she has of happiness with a new man.
I don't know what to say to her. Should she not tell new men or should she tell them and hope they're decent enough not to leave at the first chance? Please help
2007-03-21 01:42:35 · 11 answers · asked by polly 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
any decent man will support her,the ones who run arent worth it.hope shes had counselling poor girl xx
2007-03-21 01:46:43 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Its not something I think she should rush into telling a guy too soon as lets face it - it is kinda deep!
Men may not know how to cope with news like that - and the easiest option may be for them to run - before they get emotionally involved.
I would wait until shes kinda settled in a bit of a relationship with them and then tell them sometime - any decent guy will understand her reservations about telling them too early on - and stand by and support her. If they do run - well - they aint worth it in the first place now are they!?
xx
2007-03-21 01:48:52 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Anytime a rape is involved, it affects a relationship. I was raped 18 years ago. It took a while to get back into the swing of things so to speak. Your friend should get to know the man in her life before discussing the issue. Go slow and see how he reacts to other things. If he's the right one, not only will he not run, he'll do everything in his power to help calm her fears.
2007-03-21 01:50:31 · answer #3 · answered by shrtnsassee 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Honesty is always the best policy, but it depends on the guy. Some people react differently to just about everything. She needs to tell them, but I would not offer it up on the first date because it should only be shared with someone she loves and trusts.
2007-03-21 01:57:35 · answer #4 · answered by stormzsecret 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
the issue of rape should not come first, let her know the kind of man she is moving with (whether he is a hit and run man or the man that is serious) before she can tell him her past experience.
2007-03-21 02:22:04 · answer #5 · answered by babygirl 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
she has to be honest with them. if they run a mile, they obviously weren't worth it. she will know when shes found a guddun cuz he will stick by her. good luck 2 her, cuz we all know finding a good guy is like finding a needle in a haystack even for most of us women without issues such as rape
2007-03-21 06:49:10 · answer #6 · answered by helen b 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she has to know the man real good before she tells him what actually happened to her. she has to know whether the guy is decent and understanding enough to accept the fact that what actually happened to her....she doesnt need to waste her breath on those who dont have the guts to stand out for their girls!! shez way better without them!!
2007-03-21 01:56:05 · answer #7 · answered by mona s 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
that is awful.. i was abused as a child.. and never told it effects relationship for the rest of your life.. and belive me.. it will surface in many ways.. i wish i had seen someone about this.. too late now... but not too late for her... urge her to get help.. you know rape cases can be convicted in up to 2 years...
furthermore... with regards to you question... well it like this...she has to tell the guy BEFORE she sleeps with him... as all men deserve to know.. further more... if a guys is decnet like me then he will stand by her... and be gentle..
2007-03-21 01:48:12 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Maybe she should wait til she knows a man a little better before she tells him. When she finds someone loving & caring that she believes is "the one".
2007-03-21 01:48:03 · answer #9 · answered by Michelle *The Truth Hurts 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
i dont see why a man would be put off by a girl being raped anyway
2007-03-21 01:52:34 · answer #10 · answered by x-..lauren..-x 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋