been together 10 yrs. Husband has been with new company for 6 months. He was invited to go out of the country with this company without spouses. I wasnt happy about this and didnt think he should go. After a month of fighting-he went.
Husaband has admitted to being attracted to one of the girls in the office (also married).
While he was gone, we talked a total of 20 mins. He was gone 4 days-and said he had a male roommate.
Hasnt told me what DID go on there-only the "bad" things that happened.
After coming home, i was unloading his suitcase and found out that he failed to bring his underwear back. When i asked him about it, he said he left it under the bed in the hotel. I called the hotol-its not there.
I havent said a whole lot, but my husband is now very distant and quite (usually a talker). We have had sex twice since his return and i am now very sick and cannot get over whatever it is he "brought" back.
I need the truth, and cant get it from him !!!
2007-03-21 01:16:00 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Sounds to me like he feels guilty about something. If she went and she is attracted to your husband as well, I'm sure something happened. Confront him and act like you know something happened. But calling a hotel about your husband's underwear, that's a little weird and going overboard. I'm sure they got a good laugh out of that one. She probably doesn't have it if she is married.
2007-03-21 01:45:22 · answer #1 · answered by JUDY T 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think whatever he "brought" back is stress and depression with a little bit of hysteria mixed in. You called the hotel to find his underwear out of the country? Did he only take one pair for 4 days? You will get no where trying to get the answer out of him. You will make things a lot easier on yourself if you just tell him he can talk to you about anything whenever he is ready and then you just put it in the back of your mind and go on with your life. Yes, sounds impossible but get a grip if you have a man that is cheating on you do you really at this point want to wrap your entire life around him and what he did?
2007-03-21 02:06:28 · answer #2 · answered by kauai_lvr 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask him once if he cheated, flat out. Ask during a quiet, low tension moment. Let him know that you'll accept his answer once and for all and that this is the only time you'll bring it up. If he says no then believe him and ask him to attend counseling with you. If he says yes then either work on it or leave him, depending on how you feel about the subject. (I'd leave him, once a cheater always a cheater, but that's just me.) My dad was a cheater and it has caused me to bring distgrust into my healthy marriage...please be sure that you're not doing the same. However, if the sirens are going off in your head and you don't normally have trust issues then there's probably a good reason for it.
2007-03-21 02:03:03 · answer #3 · answered by mamasonny 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, see a doctor. Once you have determined what kind of illness you're fighting, it may shed some light on these other issues. I don't see a real "smoking gun" here other than your husband's drastic shift in day-to-day behavior, which may or may not mean something. Discreetly investigate his whereabouts when away from the home. Check his cell phone bill for strange numbers and credit card bills for charges he can't, or won't account for. Don't go accusing him of anything until you have something solid, though, or he'll be warned and start covering his tracks, which will make your job considerably more difficult. Good luck.
2007-03-21 01:51:30 · answer #4 · answered by rtanys 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First get yourself checked for an STD.
Usually companies do not book males and females as roommates together. If he was fooling around, one of them would have had to have a seperate room. He told you the "bad" things that happened....what were they? If you can get the name of the girl he likes at the office, call the hotel and see if either of them had rooms of their own. Then confront him.
2007-03-21 01:22:16 · answer #5 · answered by NewGrandma 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You called over seas to a hotel and asked if there was a pair of underwear under the bed? Sure thing Goof.
2007-03-21 01:25:12 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well if u dont believe wat he says and u cant trust him then why are u with him in the first place??? And fighting for a whole month?? C'mon now if u arent happy then go live ur life happily dont try to make something work if u guys simply cant even get along or tell each other the truth u know... i dont know what i would do but you'll figure out something....everything happens for a reason
2007-03-21 01:22:47 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go with your heart and run fast. Sounds like you know the truth and just suggest counseling. If he refuses and it sounds like just the tip of the iceberg, I'd leave or separate for a time binding no playing around while being separated, its a time to think about what you have and want vs a time to play the field with the leash off. good luck.
2007-03-21 01:21:38 · answer #8 · answered by steinerrw 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're not blind or dumb, but it sounds like he's definitely holding back some kind of information. If you push him or nag him about cheating... he'll start doing it because "she thinks I am anyway". My advice would be to lay low, offer your support (in case he's just stressed out), and watch for more clues. I mean if he was going to cheat, would he have admitted to being attracted to her??
If he suddenly changes his ways (i.e. starts working out when he never has before, buys newer/trendier clothes, quits smoking suddenly, etc etc) then he's got someone he's trying to impress and I'd be willing to bet it's not you.
2007-03-21 01:24:07 · answer #9 · answered by peachtek 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Use your women's intuition.... A woman knows-they can't hide everything. Take the concentration off of him and look inwards. God will bring all things done in the dark into the light.
2007-03-21 01:32:03 · answer #10 · answered by TS 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋