met this guy around 9 months ago. We gelled and clicked right from the start we were like best friends as well as lovers while seeing each other. But i discovered over time that this guy was a classic commitment phobic. Even when he spoke about his ex's saying that they were all too needy etc but I actually think it was him with the problem, as he is very immature and erratic for his age 28!!. during the space of time we were together he wasn't sure if he wanted any proper commitments right now, so we decided to leave it at that & just be friends. I am movin on as we are on 2 different levels right? I don't ever call him! He still calls me after 2 months. He called me a few days ago telling me that he does miss me & my company,someone to liase & laugh with, but still isn't saying anything about a proper relationship! I'm sorry but he doesn't know what he wants right now with me & alot of other things in his life. When I told him we would never get back 2gether he said never say never!
2007-03-21 00:05:52 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
The thing is he still calls me and asks me for advice and stuff about his job and what to do whether he should leave or not, and about how he does miss me. But I am not really interested in helping or being there for him anymore as he wasnt there for me. what should I do? I am thinking of changing my no?
2007-03-21 00:08:52 · update #1
AAAAHHHHH!!! Don't let him mess with your head girl... These kinds of guys are the worst!! The easiest way would be to tell him straight up that you don't want to talk to him... don't answer his calls... find some new guy...
BUT, if you decide that you want to give this "friend" thing a try, then the major rule is - DON'T HOOK UP WITH HIM!!! No kissing, no touching, no holding hands... Lunch or coffee is fine in some public place, but don't be alone with him in his apartment or yours. Keep stressing that you're friends... and that if he wants to get back together, he really needs to be ready to make a commitment...
Meanwhile, whatever you do, I still think you should be looking for a new guy...
2007-03-21 00:13:38 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Been there achieved that. that's a real no longer effortless one. Alot of thoughts are working very severe with you presently, and as you're saying, he's moved on. I understand once you're saying you prefer to speak with him, and then later you're indignant with him whilst thinking approximately taking him decrease back. Alot of thoughts, and that's why it is so puzzling to understand what to do. All i will enable you realize, is which you will make it via this, and that's going to be ok. in specific circumstances we ought to take some steps backward to take a step forward, so don't be too difficult on your self. you would be at a loss for words, indignant,harm and in contact at circumstances, besides the shown fact that it is going to pass. it is all area of a technique and you will learn via this what you like in a guy and what you do no longer choose, so it is going to likely be used for the solid. that could look difficult to understand right this moment, yet you will learn some issues from this, which you ought to no longer have discovered any opposite direction, and it is normally an invaluable ingredient. carry your head up severe and go woman!
2016-10-02 12:16:04 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My ex was EXACTLY the same with me and still is to an extent we are still close but he does annoy me at times. I think you should cut all contact with him until he accepts that its over or he gets it into his head that commitment is needed for you and him to make a go of the relationship
2007-03-21 00:32:29 · answer #3 · answered by wilo_chick 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you know what? This guy definately loves you. After wandering for so long,he has come to terms that you were a valuable friend to him.so,give him a chance only that you will have to have some boundaries now that you are just friends and not lovers anymore.
2007-03-21 00:20:05 · answer #4 · answered by hector 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Look.. I have all of my ex girlfriends from back in High school still friends with me. I swear to it... My wife even went out and had fun with 2 of my ex's one night. (no,... they didn't compare notes..lol).. But what I'm saying is, just because a relationship didn't work out intimately, doesn't mean you can't still be buds
2007-03-21 00:10:27 · answer #5 · answered by Jack R 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are doing the right thing...stay away...move on...People DO NOT change...trust me...thsy MAY after therapy and they HAVE to want to change but you but yourself first....there are men who do want a commitment and will make you happy...he isn't so why suffer?
2007-03-21 00:10:13 · answer #6 · answered by angeleyez1956@verizon.net 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dump him... he wants to eat his cake and have it, too. Don't waste any more time with him. You need to find some one who will be there for you, and you for him. Put your effort there.
2007-03-21 00:24:04 · answer #7 · answered by Chris 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sure, it's not like he deliberately set out to hurt you.
2007-03-21 00:33:43 · answer #8 · answered by Maggs 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
look cutie,,when he calls you tell him that friendly relationships can easy become & turn to love but love never turn to a friendly relationship.,,,,good luck
2007-03-21 00:13:45 · answer #9 · answered by LOLITTA A 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
doesn't work to be friends, cut him off. i have experience , never fixed what broken.. ever.
2007-03-21 03:01:33 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋