I'm in a role reversal marriage where I am the breadwinner and go to work and he stays home and takes care of the house, cooking, and cleaning. Recently I've noticed that some of my clothing (lingerie, blouses, delicates) is requiring hand-wash. I think my husband should be taking care of that since he is home all day and its his job. What do you think?
2007-03-20 23:36:25 · 13 answers · asked by Claudia 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Given your role reversal, it would not be unreasonable to ask him to do it, but he may need to be taught how. And even if you show him, you might not be happy with the results. My hubby is willing to do any job around the house that needs to be done, but he is not good at some jobs, so I prefer to do them myself. Hand washables falls into that category.
Good luck.
2007-03-20 23:46:33 · answer #1 · answered by not yet 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No this is not unreasonable at all. My husband would do this for me in a heartbeat. I do things for him to. 50/50 is the way it should be ... You both give and take equally. He can do some of it but when you are home and have a little time you can do some too. If you have days off you can always do laundry with him as well. This may help and maybe you need to teach him how to hand wash your things if he does not know how to.
2007-03-20 23:51:04 · answer #2 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you leave the laundry to him, then it's unreasonable to expect that he does it exactly the way you want it done.
My rule is as follows, for the two questions Who does it? and How is it done? each spouse gets to answer one, but only one question.
So on the question of your hand washables, if you say they must be hand washed, it's not unreasonable for him to say, "Go for it!"
I believe if every problem is handled this way, your marriage will be far healthier.
Your expectation that he does this your way may lead to resentment on both sides. Expectations are often what kill marriages.
So, while it seems reasonable, what you propose, your husband is an adult as well, and if he doesn't want to hand wash clothing, then it's not unreasonable for him to say no.
I would say the same if the genders and/or roles were reversed.
2007-03-21 00:57:45 · answer #3 · answered by camys_daddy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should be grateful that he does what he does, how many times do I hear a woman complaining that her husband EXPECTS her to keep the house clean, laundry, grocery shopping, cleaning, kids etc....and hardly ever says a simple "thank you." You should be thanking him every day, maybe if you express your gratitude daily, he will like the attention and love from you and gladly hand wash your delicates. PUT yourself in his shoes if you can and think about how YOU would like to be approached.
2007-03-21 00:32:22 · answer #4 · answered by reddevilbloodymary 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I agree with you! It is HIS job. Normally I think the wife should be home, but if the husband happens to assume homemaking duties, then he must "don the apron and oven mitts" and do what a traditional housewife would do. Now, you might have to accept the fact that he isn't good at it, but he should definitely make the attempt.
2007-03-21 01:24:36 · answer #5 · answered by L.A. Scene 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i agree with everyone that since you are in a role reversal marriage, it is HIS job to do this. If you were the homemaker, you would be washing his boxers and stuff right?
however, i do think letting ur husband see and wash your dirty underwear can be quite a turnoff sexually. LOL, it depends on u guys' relationship
2007-03-21 06:18:54 · answer #6 · answered by jeannes85 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, have him take your delicates to the Cleaners. Do feel that he'd do a good job hand washing them? This is NOT a man's area of expertise.
My wife used to do all of my work shirts but it was always a major pain, now I use the Cleaners. Works great for all parties involved.
2007-03-21 00:13:46 · answer #7 · answered by Larry F 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Yes, he should handwash your delicates. Explain to him exactly how you want them washed and dried. When you come home from work in the evenings, you should do an inspection of the home. Everything should be as you wish it to be. Do you have an apron for him to wear? If not, get one for him. He should be expected to wear it in the privacy of your home. Also, you should consider different types of punishment when he fails to meet your expectations with regards to work around the home.
2007-03-21 02:21:24 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you want it done right, then I would suggest you do it yourself. My wife is horrible at anything in the laundry that requires any extra effort at all.
2007-03-20 23:46:39 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well.. that is between you two. Go ahead and have him do it if he feels comfortable to do so....,
Does he have a problem with it? If so, tell the cuck to go get a job.
2007-03-20 23:41:26 · answer #10 · answered by Jack R 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋