My friend is having another abortion Friday!..2nd time in about 6 months st the most...I feel like i can no longer be friends w/ her if she does kill another baby!..what makes it worse is that she is a mommy of a 3 year old baby girl that almost died when she was born!..i feel there is a reason she has been blessed w/ becoming pregnant..NO BABY IS A MISTAKE in my eyes!..how could she do this?..am i exagerating or making to big of a deal over something that has nothing 2 do with me?..or are my feelings justified?
2007-03-20 23:05:14 · 18 answers · asked by Vanna 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
Your friend needs to attend counselling and learn about birth control methods. She needs to work with a clinical counsellor (psychologist) to discover WHY she continues to become pregnant rather than take preventative steps. Abortion is murder in my mind - not contraception. I can tell you that women who have had even one abortion, live to regret it - one I know still is having problems dealing with it and she's in her late 50' now - she still regrets it every day of her life. You are correct, no child is a mistake. This friend needs to get her head, then her life, in order.
As to your feelings? Yes, they are yours, and you are justified for feeling however you choose to feel, based on your beliefs and knowledge. You can offer her support and encourage her to make positive changes in her life that will help avoid this problem in future, but if she refuses to change, you might want to find friends that don't surround you with negativity- which seems to be the feeling from her.
Good Luck in dealing with her - you might offer to go to a counselling/support group with her, and or do the home-work to help her find a professional. Maybe you could baby-sit for her while she's at these sessions?...... Whatever you do - Good Luck honey!
2007-03-20 23:14:25 · answer #1 · answered by bc_is_the_place_to_be 4 · 1⤊ 2⤋
They are your feelings, so no one can tell you they are wrong, and your girlfriend could surely benefit from some education about birth control. It does sometimes happen though that a woman feels she can't get pregnant right away after a pregnancy, whether carried to term or not. She might have gotten caught that way. If you wish to have three babies in three years, that is your business. If she has chosen not to, that's hers.
Could it be that you wish in your heart to become pregnant too, and this just isn't the right time for you? Do you resent her fertility and feel she doesn't 'deserve' it?
2007-03-20 23:12:03 · answer #2 · answered by justa 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Well, as strongly as we feel in this subject, think of this. If she kept this baby but didn't want it, she very well might drink or do drugs during pregnancy, possibly causing miscarriage or birth defects. What about after the baby is born, she could very well mistreat it and neglect it. Sometimes things are better left to the individual that is making the decisions. There is a reason for everything.
I am not saying I agree, but please look at this from all angles.
2007-03-20 23:43:14 · answer #3 · answered by Maroo 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I agree with you! Although I think your friend needs mandatory counseling for taking life so lightly, not to mention what it is doing to her own body. She needs a friend too. Some day she may wake up to what she has done, I hope she will be able to forgive herself at that time. How does she treat her daughter? I hope the child feels that she was wanted and is loved...I'd be more worried about her than her mother...I had trouble using that word to designate her. I lost out on a grand child due to the mom to be opting for an abortion, at the time, I agreed, at least in my mind, that it was the right way to go. But, after wards, I found myself deep in grief,and 12 years later, I still mourn. I don't think anyone else even remembers..it was the 15th of March 1995...beware the ides of March....I have a heartache that no amount of tears can wash away..I grieve for a child that never even saw the light of day, no baseball games, no chance for fame..poor thing never even got a name.......and I wish your friend the same!!! I'm sorry, that is cruel of me... God will see to her.....
2007-03-20 23:29:33 · answer #4 · answered by territizzyb 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You definitely have a right to feel the way you do. I would feel the exact same way. Two abortions in four months is ridiculous! One abortion within any amount of time is ridiculous as well! Has she ever heard of birth control or condoms? She shouldn't be having sex if she can't be responsible for her actions! Every baby deserves a chance at life!
2007-03-20 23:09:33 · answer #5 · answered by Halley 3 · 3⤊ 1⤋
No you are not wrong for feeling the way you do. She needs some serious help. Is she stupid?? I mean it sounds like she needs some education about birth control. Abortion is NOT a method of birth control!! I would try and find her some help, but I could not continue our friendship.
2007-03-21 00:20:33 · answer #6 · answered by ReeRee29 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Your friend needs to know that abortion is not a form of birth control!!DUH!!Why dont you sit down with her after she gets this one and tell her to get on birth control.It's a lot cheaper and does not hurt like hell.(not to mention the emotional damage an abortion can do to you)I guess that is if she even has a conscious about it.Good luck to you!
2007-03-20 23:30:52 · answer #7 · answered by lady2 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
i might additionally do an open adoption. in my view, she is basically too youthful to have slightly one. besides the shown fact that that's difficult to furnish slightly one up for adoption, it takes an fantastically sturdy guy or woman. I personalyy couldnt have somebody else advance my baby whether i ought to make certain it. yet in her difficulty maximum possibly her mom and father could be elevating the toddler anyhow because of the fact she remains at school and not sufficiently previous to rigidity or perhaps get a job. for this reason, they might ought to purchase each and every thing the toddler and help the toddler... which babys are no longer inexpensive in any respect. If I have been in her difficulty i might communicate with my mom and father and ask them in the event that they could be keen to try this, in the event that they pronounced no, then choose for the open adoption. i understand the 1st determination is extremely out of the image, yet somebody I knew have been given pregnant at her age, her mom and father made her get one achieved, she complete highschool, went to college have been given married to a useful guy, and she or he's now a dentist and has 2 toddlers that she would be able to totally help without concern. She is satisfied, and says besides the actuality that it grow to be no longer effortless it grow to be the terrific determination for her at that factor and she or he dosent blame her mom and father for making her do it. the terrific determination isnt consistently the least puzzling determination, and the least puzzling determination isnt consistently the terrific determination. besides the shown fact that that's her determination. desire she chooses what's terrific for HER and her toddler.
2016-10-02 12:15:20 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your feelings are somewhat justified as no one has the right to kill an unborn foetus, however, you also state that her 3 year old almost died when she was born. Maybe your friend is scared that the next child may actually die during or after birth so she is (unconsciously) negating the possibility before it arises.
2007-03-20 23:11:02 · answer #9 · answered by Shantelle G 3 · 2⤊ 2⤋
She's your friend so you have a right to have feelings about her decision. She needs to stop using murder as a method of birth control. People who give this answer a thumbs down should be grateful they're in this world to do so and that they weren't aborted.
2007-03-20 23:14:45 · answer #10 · answered by Debra D 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋