i'm a black female 26 yrs.I ve a black b/friend that i ve been with for 2 yrs.I then met a white guy his 30yrs while i was having lunch.fast forward 3 months later i slept with him.it has been 9 months & i'm still seeing him & i enjoy beening with him.I love my b/friend but i don't know what to do.I'm confused & scared.My family loves my b/friend & sees him as my future husband.
I ve been having a secret affair with this guy & he knows i ve a boyfriend.After sleeping with the other guy i noticed that i don't want my b/friend to touch me & he has asked me what is wrong because he notices i avoid having sex with him.The funny this is i love having sex with other guy but i think we can't have a serious relationship because he is white. He on the other hand thinks we can.He has given 3 months to leave my b/friend or he leaves.My parents will kill me if i leave my b/friend for a white man.My b/friend has been a good man but i ve fallen for the other guy.what should i do? Serious answers
2007-03-20 21:13:47 · 7 answers · asked by good_but_naughty_gal 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I'm just scared that if i leave my b/friend for this guy society will not accept our relationship. I mean i love beening with his guy but me being black and him being white creates problems with my family. I think his family will be fine because i have met his brother and sister and they know that their brother is having an affair with me. I have met his parents but i was introduced to them as a friend (rightfully so because i'm basically cheating ).
I can not continue lying to my family and b/friend. I spent the past 3 weekends at the other guys' home and i keeping lying about my where abouts. How do you leave a good man for an other good man.
i know i made the mistake of entertaining the other guy but it's too late for all those regrets now because i'm now in love with the other man. how can i explain this to my family and my b/friend.
What do i do now that the other guy no longer wants to be the other guy.He says he wants us to be official. I want to be with him
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2007-03-20 21:14:17 · update #1
First of all that is so mess-up that you are having sex with another guy and have a boyfriend. I don't know if your using protection, but I 'm sure you guys haven't used it all the time. That's another story. You just need to get rid of one of them. You are going to have a real big F-ing problem on your hands if the black guy finds out. You know that he is going to feel really disrespected because you cheated on him with a white dude. You are really playing with fire. I suggest that you end it quick and stay with the dude you wanna be with. Don't try and be honest like some people will tell you. Because you know like I know that if the black dude finds out---TROUBLE-TROUBLE-TROUBLE. He going is going to turn it into a race thing. Even through you just fell in love with a guy. Good luck
2007-03-20 21:54:27 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
As you already know, cheating is wrong, but what's done is done. You need to sit down and seriously consider what it would be like with your current b/f or the guy you want to be with. Families are the ones who will be the hardest on you. I'm Polish and I married a Puerto Rican. My husband is the ONLY person who's not polish in my family. My mother threatened to disown me if I married him, but I stood by him, we got married, my mom gave him a chance and now she loves him. If your family cares about you, they should make sure that you're happy. If you decide to leave your b/f, be prepared for a lot of criticism from your family (don't give to sh*ts about what others think). If you leave the other guy, find a way to forget him or at least ease the pain from being away from him. Good Luck.
2007-03-20 23:23:32 · answer #2 · answered by K9Girl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, you must do what makes you completely satisfied. You have got to reside for you. Only you'll be able to make a decision who your long run husband can be. On the cautionary part...you can also desire to invite your self if you happen to relatively desire to be with this man or is it simply the fun of doing some thing with the intention to piss off your loved ones. If that is the case then the newness of this romance will put on off and you can also remorse your determination. Or is that you're feeling the stress from either side and ought to retreat and allow off a few steam. Or do you KNOW that your boyfriend isn't the person you desire to speand your existence with? But both means its unfair for your boyfriend. If something you must as a rule take a while off out of your courting and suppose approximately what is high-quality for all concerned. **************************************... with the modification, I suppose that you just must finish the connection along with your boyfirend. Plus, in which do you reside? And, why do you care what any individual has to mention approximately your private relationships? If this man is for truly, then difference lanes and head for happiness.
2016-09-05 10:18:05 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its obvious the first thing you need to do is DUMP YOUR BOYFRIEND!!! If you are not into him enough to go share bodily fluids with another guy (whatever colour) then you need to leave your boyfriend . Out of respect for him and yourself, and this new guy.
Thats the easiest option to me is to end it with your old boyfriend, ask for some space from your new one so you have tome to think whether or not to proceed with an interracial relationship. If needs be if you leave your boyfriend and continue to see this guy on the DL for a little while it wont look like you dumped your guy for a new improved White one.
Whatever you do please dont continue to cheat coz if he or your family find out they will be more disgusted than if you conduct your business in a ladylike manner.
P.S. Sometimes when having affairs people have rose coloured glasses and think they want to be with the guy there having sex with. Having space from both of them will make you see who is right for you.
P.P.S It is your life and if you want to be with any colour or personality you can , you dont have to date who your family like. Your 26 for gods sake!
2007-03-21 06:09:44 · answer #4 · answered by tickledpinkies 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well.. race really shouldnt be an issue...but in some families it is upbringing and backgroud come from the older generation.
A good example, my grandmother.. when I was dating in highschool she would ask the last name and then ask, "he isnt caltholic, is he?" We were not caltholic so she would want a protestant to be dating me.
I suggest if you REALLY love the white guy.. then trust one person in your family that you can talk to. Your mother might be a bit more understanding then an older relative. DO NOT bring it by your Dad..and definatly not a grandparent..if they are anything like mine :)
Explain that you love this guy and you are not in love with your current boyfriend. First explain the qualities of the white guy and save his race for last.
Once the relative you trust gives an opinion then maybe they can help you with the rest of your family..
One other thing.. make sure that the guy you love has a gentlemens sense and asks permission from your father to date you. I know that is kind of silly...but it will show your father that he has some respect.
Good luck!
2007-03-20 21:30:06 · answer #5 · answered by giveu2tictacs 5 · 1⤊ 2⤋
1) stop cheating on your boyfriend
2) stop allowing your family's racist tendancies to rule your life
3) listen to your heart, and be with the person you LOVE
you aren't being fair to anyone by doing what you are doing. Your affair-guy is right to cut you off, I just think he should have done it a lot sooner.
If we are truly to get rid of racism in our world, then we have to stop it on all levels. Any decision that is based purely on race is racist, so your family rejecting a "white man" just because he's white is racist. It's as racist as a white guy taking a black girl home and having his family reject her.
Go with the person you love, and be faithful to him. None of you deserve what's going on now.
2007-03-21 06:37:06 · answer #6 · answered by ski4ever1977 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know what they say. Wants you go white you see the light.
2007-03-20 21:21:49 · answer #7 · answered by little g 3 · 4⤊ 0⤋