She has a well developed body but a young face. I am not comfortable with other men looking at her body but my wife seems to think it's okay. I think she is much too young. At what age can a young girl decide to show off her breasts in public?
2007-03-20 20:52:48 · 101 answers · asked by IanB 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
she is still to young
2007-03-21 06:26:22 · answer #1 · answered by traveller 7 · 5⤊ 7⤋
Is this a serious question? Are you seriously even considering this? If so I don't mean to be rude, but perhaps you should reevaluate your moral standards a bit. Honestly, do you check out your coworkers 14-yr old daughters clothed or topless? That is the equivalent of what you'd be letting your daughter do. While I understand in many foreign countries it is the norm to walk around topless or on a topless beach, it should NEVER be the norm for a CHILD to do so. Once she is old enough (an adul--whatever the legal age for that is in your home country) than she can decide what to do with her body. Then she will understand the reactions and situations that can arise from such an undressed state. I am by no means saying that women shouldn't walk around topless. Hell I'd do it if it were legal here, but I believe that only adults who have the common sense and a full understanding of their choice should have the right. Her mother should certainly not be condoning your daughter's choice nor supporting nor encouraging it. I can't believe that your daughter wants to walk around topless in front of her own father. Wouldn't you feel wrong for seeing her that way? It's inviting pedophiles to prey upon your child. You wouldn't hand her over to a child molester and you shouldn't allow her to put herself on display for a pervert gawker. I'm not one to usually reccomend this, but I think your daughter needs some counseling on her body issues and needs to be taught to respect her body.
2007-03-24 02:38:54 · answer #2 · answered by morgnarose 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
why ever not?!?!
of course it's uncomfortable. we parents are always slightly uncomfortable about, and protective of, our childrens' burgeoning sexuality :)
but if you are going to a beach where topless bathing is acceptable, then no-one will give it a second thought. it will be the *norm*. going topless in this sort of environment is NOT giving off sexual cues - think about films about nudists. they are some of the least *sexy* things i've ever seen lol.
if your daughter is attractive and well-developed, then guys are going to look at her body whether she's wearing a bikini top or not... and for some guys, partially clothed is more arousing than naked, yes?
i want my daughters to feel comfortable and at ease with their bodies. i would be concerned that insisting on them covering up, when lots of the women around them were topless, would give them the idea that there was something shameful about, or *wrong* with their breasts...
i also don't think that this is something you can just fix an age on.... why would it be *safer* to stop her going topless until she's 16 and with you most of the time, and then *let* her when she's 17 and off on holiday with her mates? it's her attitude to her body that is important, not her age.
as for all the hysteria about paedophiles...
well, two things...
1) do paedophiles not tend to be attracted by the pre-pubescent? is that not the whole point? that they are sexually attracted to children, not well-developed young women?
and
2) there's probably a lot more chance that there will be some guy on the beach who letches over feet (or legs, or belly-buttons) than that there will be a paedophile.... are you going to force her to remain covered up completely to prevent *anyone* from looking at her?
i think you should chill out and let her do whatever is comfortable for her.
chances are that she'll be too embarrassed anyway, and choose to keep her top on ;)
2007-03-22 10:36:49 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
She's a child with a woman's body. Topless is OK at 14 as long as it's a privatearea; i.e - if you are renting a private villa with it's own garden. I wouldn't be crazy about my 14 year old proposing to go topless. In fact, I would put my foot firmly down and say maybe next year.
Having said that, when you go to a country like Spain, no-body really bats an eyelid at who wears what or who is topless, because everybody is scantily clad.
are you sure it's not you who would feel the most uncomfortable with it?
2007-03-21 04:20:26 · answer #4 · answered by marie m 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
It depends on the culture and the risks. Obviously in some countries toplessness is the custom and without consequence as it's so commonplace. If she's going to be on a topless beach where other nubile young lasses are also topless and there's no risk of her being molested or led away to some secret lair, just having her breasts exposed, admired (and drooled over, if not on) won't hurt her. Frankly, I think it's a shame when such beauty is hidden away until it fades, like hiding the Mona Lisa in some storeroom until the paint starts to peel.
2007-03-21 04:59:02 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 1⤋
You're correct. She is too young to go topless. (If every girl or almost every other 13 to 15 year-old girl was topless then maybe.)
Does your wife plan on going topless? If yes your daughter going topless is still a bad idea. But if your wife does go topless perhaps you can let you daughter do it once in a isolated & secluded spot when no one or very few will see her.
However, I still think that a 14 year-old going topless is a bad idea.
2007-03-23 16:45:25 · answer #6 · answered by Mike H 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
There is no age limit. It all depends on where you will be going on holiday. Since you say holiday instead of vacation, I'll assume Europe where it is legal and in most places, typical for females to be topless.
Also, look at the other girls on the beach near her age. If they are mostly topless, let her do it. It would be emotionally more harmful to her to be different than to be topless.
Breasts are required to be covered in places only where they are considered sexual. This is not the case in most of the world other than parts of the Middle East and the USA. With the topfree equal rights movement campaigning for equal rights for women and men, even the USA is beginning to have more places where it is legal.
You, as parents, have final control over your daughter, but if she has grown up in this atmosphere, and is comfortable with it, she is probably capable of making the correct decisions.
2007-03-23 11:35:43 · answer #7 · answered by USAnudist 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Absolutely not under any circumstances would I let my 14yr old daughter go topless. I am not in any way a prude and I don't mind people bathing topless but your daughter is still a child who is developing and unfortunately there are some perverts out there who would get a kick out of seeing her in that state of undress.
Tell your wife no, that your daughter will be staying covered up until she is at least 18 and mature enough to handle the attention that comes with showing your breasts.
2007-03-21 01:48:52 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 2⤋
I don't think you should let her do it in public, after all she is only 14.
If you are renting a private villa and are not over looked then yes, there is fine...But on a packed beach...i don't think so!
Just think of all the attention she will be getting from men...and what if something happened to her because of it! Tell her she can - if u have a villa, and that's it!
I think that you should sit your wife down and have a talk with her...make her see that your daughter is still a child, and will be totally sending out the wrong message to men...not boys...men! (like you said she is well developed) Put your foot down on this one!
Good luck x
2007-03-21 10:02:37 · answer #9 · answered by Danni 2 · 1⤊ 2⤋
I think that it's fine for girls to go topless. The only difference between girls and guys on top is that girls have more. And really, what's so attractive about breasts? They're basically lumps of fat. If it's fine for men to go topless, it's fine for girls to go topless. We just practice modesty more often. :)
Ok, honestly, I wouldn't be comfortable topless. But that's my personal preference because I don't like people looking at me too much, it makes me uncomfortable. This is a really individual question, so maybe you should talk to your wife and daughter about it and tell them not that you think she's too young, but that it makes you uncomfortable. They'll be much more likely to listen if you don't try to order them around.
2007-03-22 17:36:59 · answer #10 · answered by Drop of Golden Sun 3 · 3⤊ 1⤋
I have no problem with toplessness or nudity in appropriate places, and spend many days each summer at the nude beach.
However, your daughter is 14 and needs to respect your wishes as a parent. You and she can discuss the matter, listen to each others points of view, but at the end, it's your decision about what you believe is best for her at this time.
She'll probably complain (I complained about everything my parents wanted me to do when I was 14!) but she needs to follow your directives until she's old enough to make those decisions for herself.
One suggestion: If you're going to a vacation spot where other girls and women will be topless, it might be OK for her to join in as well, especially if your wife will be topless also. That might be a valid compromise that satisfies everyone.
Good luck...and enjoy your vacation.
2007-03-21 02:33:39 · answer #11 · answered by nudie chick 6 · 7⤊ 1⤋