how do I get my son to cope with it?

Question

I am going through a divorce rite now my husband be a good dad but since we seperated and he found someone new he has seen the kids maybe one hour in the past 3 weeks my son had just started wanting to hang out with daddy when it started now he has gotten totally out of control and very emotional snd screams that he wants his dad and hits me telling me how much he hates me and he calls me by my name he's 3 and I have no idea how to handle this situation

Answer 1

Well I went through a similar situation as your son not at three but all the same. You need to keep your head about you and raise that beautiful son of yours the best you know how. Even though he is very young he is probably picking up on your emotional state and it is effecting his after all you are his mommy. keep giving him a lot of love and a little guidance, and honesty and as time passes he will start to see things for what they really are, and no matter what he says to you just remember that a son always holds a special place in his heart for his mom. Times are probably tough right now but you need to sit down with him and tell him the truth about your situation at hand because i still remember the b.s. story I was told about the little bit of space my parents were taking from each other

Answer 2

Your son is angry, and the new way of life will take some time. You can't do anything about your ex, maybe talk to him about your son, but he's still going to do what he wants. Your energy is best meant for the kids. Try to make life as normal as can be. If your feeling low, try to act like every things OK. Not that it's not OK to feel bad, but you wouldn't want to be laying around crying! Explain to your son it's OK to be mad, but everything will be fine. He also needs to know most of all that IT'S NO BODY'S FAULT!!!!!!This is soooooo important.. Children have a way of thinking it's their fault mommy and daddy went apart. You and your ex need to make a Parenting plan.. Good luck!

Answer 3

This does happen..this is a side effect of divorce. some children get really, really upset.. If there is a way I would suggest to get Dad to talk to him over the phone between visits.. I would also suggest telling Dad that his son needs a visit from dad every weekend either both days or one day..but he needs to be there equally for his son in order for your son to get use to this new arrangement.

I will tell you why..

he will end up going to school and not speak to any children. he will get picked on he will cry in school. he will have emotional issues and not beable to deal with them..it will go on through k-6.. I know this...because it happened to me...

My dad never visited me...after my parents divorced about the same age your son is. I barely remember him..I am still mad at him..and I am 33..

sorry..got personal..but he dad needs to be apart and visit..so that doesnt happen

Answer 4

To quote Bernie Mac, "Beat his *** til the white meat shows!".

Seriously, do you spank the kid? If you don't, you should. Don't believe the mindless psycho babble that people are barraged with everyday that spanking is bad. NO!!! In fact, if more people spanked their kid, the world would be a better place and you've have better behaved kids.

I'm sorry about your marital situation but it sounds like dad isn't coming back and you need to get your son under control ASAP. If you let this get out of control, you're going to have massive problems with him for the rest of his life.

Under no circumstances cave in to the kid's tantrums. I see that everyday and it teaches the kid that if he pitches a fit, mom will give me what I want. So, even if he's in the floor of a store screaming, DO NOT give him what he wants.

Answer 5

Sounds alittle of the fact he is going through the terrible 3's on top of knowing something is going on.... you need to talk to your soon to be ex and explain right from the start about this should not stop him from being a father and you want things as normal as possible for your son, and his priority should not be with himself but to his son.... feelings you two have should be set aside to deal with the boys problem.... good luck

Answer 6

He is upset about his daddy not coming to visit him longer and he is angry with you for letting daddy go. I think you should gently tell the boy that mom and dad no longer love each other and both have chosen a different way. I'm not sure if your son can understand this but I think you must try to give him time to think about it. Don't get angry with him, he is just a little boy.

Answer 7

I have walked your path myself. It is very hard for the small one to understand why someone who was a large part of his life is no longer there. Try talking to him and spending time with him, doing something special on a regular (say once a week) basis with him that is special just for him time. If you and your ex are on good terms I would also contact him and let him know what is going on. Not being there he might not realize how difficult this actually is for his kids.

Answer 8

show straight face and a low tone of voice saying to your son..that you are his mother and you should have respect..also,when you see your son watching t.v just go to him and give him a hug and a kiss on the cheek..showing your unconditional love will change his attitude towards you...if,your son says he had a good grade from school show a smile and hug him..your son is loosing the connection from you and you don't even know it....plus,don't make him pick sides from the both of you..tell,him dad and mommy will always love you...smile,connection, and hugs is the solution to all kids misbehavior.....good luck mommy :-)

Answer 9

he is upset because his father is not there for him. do not take it personal. call his dad and tell him that for the childrens sakes you would like to talk to him about the divorce and the childrens well being. explain to him that his son desperately needs his father in his life and that he needs to make an effort to love his children and make them feel secure.