Him and I have been together for 6 1/2 years, and shortly after we married last summer, things started going downhill. Tonight, after I got him a cell phone so I could reach him, he shut it off because he didn't want to come home, and all he'd done all day was b**ch at me, fight with me, and ignore me. I just wanted to talk about whether or not he was even willing to work things out, but I can't reach him. No one knows where he is. I'm packing his things because I can't do this anymore - I can't be lied to and treated badly - and I want to separate and work out our differences in counseling (if he's willing), but I'm scared... we got together when I was 16, and now, 6 years later, I don't know how to be alone.....
2007-03-20 20:09:02 · 18 answers · asked by jhostman 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
(The reason I say it was a mutual agreement is because he was aware of the fact that if he didn't come home, I would be packing his things.)
2007-03-20 20:10:02 · update #1
I will be staying in the apartment, and I have no clue where he will be staying. I know he's broke because he just blew his entire paycheck on a new cell phone (he didn't like the one I activated for him, I guess), and I doubt he has any friends he can stay with, but I guess that's his problem... I pay the rent here, and my name's on the rental agreement. I'm not leaving.
2007-03-20 20:17:32 · update #2
It's amazing what you can do. There will be those days when you're ok and fine and then there will be days you want to just curl into a ball and disappear. Best is to be around people. People who care about you and will see you through this tough time. If he is not going to be a husband to you, you are always better of than he is.... You may still love him but it doesn't mean you have to take this for the rest of your life. If he is willing to change or be a better man, then you are on the road to recovery, else, just cut your losses and move on.
2007-03-20 20:24:38 · answer #1 · answered by Sa-Anne 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give him some time to think about what has happened. You and him owe it to each other to work thru your differences. You both are soo young. You probably should have waited to get married anyway. People change. I know I am completely different at 31 than I was at 22, even 25! If it doesnt work out, call on your friends and family to help you thru it. The pain wont last forever and if it's not working, you cant spend the rest of your life rethinking what will happen in the future. Find your strength, all women have it! Good Luck to you! Leave his things alone for a while, give it a chance. You havent even been married a year yet!
2007-03-20 20:35:13 · answer #2 · answered by FemFatale 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't worry to much about it nobody really knows how to be alone really until it happens. May bee its for the best I'm 28 and i really didn't find myself or what i really wanted out of life until a few years ago. But if you love him it is defiantly worth working things out if at all possible I think that too many people use separation as a first or second option when the going gets tough. That opinion is not derived from religion of any kind I just feel that for a true relationship to last separation shouldn't even be on the table(if their is mutual love) unless catastrophe strikes...
2007-03-20 22:42:20 · answer #3 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should not stay with him just because you're scared to be alone. That's why alot of women stay in a domestic violence situation for so long sometimes. I'd say that you are making the right choice by leaving and shouldn't be wishy washy with your feelings. If it's over let it be over and make that scary first step to independance. Try calling your family or a close friend and see if they are willing to help. Chances are if it's a bad relationship-they've noticed and will be willing.
Being alone really isn't horrible so don't be scared. As with everything, there will be a time of adjustment...you'll get through it though. Be strong!
2007-03-20 20:16:56 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do not pack up his things because you are angry. If you are asking if this relationship can be saved only you and he know. You two will have to sit down and communicate about the problems in the relationship. If he is willing to go to counseling then possibly things can work out. Don't let your fear of being alone keep you in a bad relationship. Once you are free from the bad relationship you will learn that you have more strength than you ever thought you did. You will do things that are nurturing and loving for yourself. You will learn how to live in peace and joy. I promise. The problem is that we get so scared of having a broken heart we try to spare ourselves of that pain and live with much worst. No one gets through life without having their heart broken. That is a fact of life. Decide that you want to be happy and you want it more that you fear it. The most painful lessons are the ones that bring out our best selves. Good luck to you now matter what you decide.
2007-03-20 21:01:25 · answer #5 · answered by newyorktilson 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It relies upon on what type of individual you prefer to be. If morals and self self-discipline mean not something to you in your self and on your destiny better half, then flow forward. you comprehend that is incorrect and that is incorrect because of the fact it hurts or has the flexibility to harm toddlers. If there are actually not any toddlers to income undesirable habit from you, then flow forward. while you're youthful sufficient to have toddlers, get your tubes tied so none would be harm. If he has young toddlers, you're affecting them. whether your husband left, you made a marriage vow. this finished ingredient isn't between you and your husband or the chum w/ reward. that is often been purely you and God. Get on your knees and ask him if that is incorrect. isn't his opinion all that concerns besides? What has exceeded off to private integrity?
2016-10-19 05:47:05 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What happened?Was it something that both of you did that this relationship is in trouble? I think both of you need some time off and maybe you need to re-think what you need to do next. You might want to stay over at your parents' place for a while till one of you call for a meeting or some sort. You really need to sort this out. Both of you can't go into hiding forever. Face the music and talk it over if you can.
2007-03-20 20:15:17 · answer #7 · answered by Ashley 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i am so sorry it really seems like he wants to let this relationship go. it is possible with some time he will come to appreciate you and the things you have done for him. it sounds to me like you are very needy. you got him a cell phone so that you could keep tabs on him and he resents that. you have probably not given him enough space. if my husband kept calling me at work so that he could argue with me i would cut him off too. i think you need some councelling as well. you met too young and you never got to have adult relationships to learn from.
he will appreciate a more independent woman.
2007-03-20 20:15:50 · answer #8 · answered by misse 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Look in your heart, are you not worth more. There are tons of better guys. I was with this guy for ten years I thought he was my true love. he wasn't even close. You will love again. Believe me. Let him go. If he comes back then ya know what maybe he just didn't appreciate you. Guys don't know what they have till its gone. Don't talk to him, At all!!! he wants space. o have fun with your friends for a week. Take it from there. Keep your self busy. Don't think about it.
2007-03-20 20:31:23 · answer #9 · answered by vsexygirl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm not saying you are wrong in your decision although obviously you don't want it to work out that way but if you have threatened to do this before then he probably didn't expect you to follow through this time either. Good luck and I hope things work out for you, you seem to be the more mature of the pair.
2007-03-20 20:15:52 · answer #10 · answered by dano 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋