I married him 5 yrs ago because he was so great to me and my then 8 yr son from previous marriage. He was never a drinker and suddenly drinks exspensive hard booze and is diabetic so he shouldnt drink at all, he stopped smoking 5 yrs ago, and now smokes and chews tabacco and lies about it hides it , I am terrified of guns because of a childhood tragedy, and now he has bought one and is online for 2 or more hrs a day looking up weapons and buying gun clips etc. He is no longer nice to my son, he treats him like a nusiance most of the time. He told me that he sees my ex husband in his house every day when he looks in my sons eyes (he looks like his dad) He told me a couple days ago that he is a grown man and what he does is none of my buisness, I feel that it is because when the cigaretts and booze kill him, it will be my buisness. We have a 3 yr old, I want to make this work but I dont feel like I love this person he has become, What should I do? Any marriage counselors out there?
2007-03-20 19:55:58 · 8 answers · asked by Mel 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He has a good job, works about 12 hrs a day, the gun is safely locked up with a gun lock, he doesnt get wild drunk or anything its just that drinking at all is way out of character for him. He cant understand why I am mad like I am a crazy nag.
2007-03-20 20:10:15 · update #1
If he says all that he doesn't deserve you leave him before something REALLY bad happens you will REALLY regret it if you come home from work or something and your kid is passed out on the floor and your husband is sitting there laughing at it. If he says that to you and your son and drinks its not a healthy relationship. Its also not healthy for him to have a gun in a house of a 3 and 8 yr old tell him to lose it or you lose him.
2007-03-20 20:05:44 · answer #1 · answered by jessieroo8399 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try to prepare a good dinner for the family with all his favorite food on the table. The way to a man's heart is through his stomach. If he's had his fill and has enjoyed his meal, you can take him to your den or somewhere peaceful in the house. Make sure the kids are asleep. You can tell him that this has got to stop because it's hurting you. But always praise him about the good things he's done in the past till the present and remind him of how well that meant for you and the kids. If he loves you, he'll ask for forgiveness. If he reacts negatively, try to push harder by saying that you are unhappy the way things are but you are definitely not giving up just like that and is hopeful about the things that you can work out as a family. If he reacts violently and punches you, leave the him. He's not worth it.
2007-03-21 03:08:52 · answer #2 · answered by one hot momma 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like he has given up. Diabetes is a horrible disease. Not everyone can handle the limitations that are required . I once dated a guy that had diabetes. When his sugar level went too high or dropped too fast, he was a monster. He constantly apologized, but did not try to follow the doctor's instructions on how to maintain his sugar level. I finally had to leave. I felt that I was being punished because he ate or drank something that he knew he should not, or did not take is insulin when he should have. This may be what is happening to your husband.
If your husband continues to ignore the cause of the problems, you and your children will live miserable lives. It is not fair to you or them. Talk to his doctor, maybe he can make him recognize the effects of the unbalanced sugar levels.
Marriage counseling is another option. If he refuses to find out what is causing him to act this way, hit the road. Don't let anyone treat your son that way. He obviously does not care what happens to you, your son, or his child if he is not taking care of himself.
2007-03-21 03:21:27 · answer #3 · answered by PEGGY S 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Blood sugar problems and a chemical imbalance that comes with it is affecting the behavior---if you could get him to stop drinking and eating a proper diet, he wouldn't act this way---those guns will be used--believe me--he sees what he considers to be an ex and a devil---I have been to hundreds of lunatic shootings and people who are nuts with weapons. IT IS THE BLOOD SUGAR----believe me. Pay his insurance--he is going to die----he is bordering on a serious flame out as we speak---it will a miracle if he doesn't hurt you and the kids. Sorry--but the man needs serious intervention now---you said yourself that he wasn't this way until the drinking started--the brain is not working right because of the chemical imbalances from bad bad sugar issues---get him to a secure hospital and keep him there---or else he is going to die---this is a fact----I see this a lot at work....Get moving... stop wishing for it to stop.
2007-03-21 03:07:23 · answer #4 · answered by fire_inur_eyes 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
And to think that you keep allowing your son to suffer because of this man. Anyone with 1/2 a brain would tell him to hit the road.
2007-03-21 03:06:53 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry about your situation. Your husband does need to see a psychologist. Although his behavior has everything to do with you and your family because you are exposed to it, a marriage counselor isn't the answer. It seems like he might soon become violent. You need to worry about your saftey and the saftey of your children.
2007-03-21 03:12:45 · answer #6 · answered by Ashley M 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is he having some problems with himself or at work or is he fedup with the family? Try to talk to him and get into the root of it. If he is able to open up to you all his worries and problems and solve them one by one. Give him time and support him all you can. Good luck.
2007-03-21 02:59:58 · answer #7 · answered by Ashley 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If he does not want to visit a psychologist with you leave him. You and your childrens safety comes first.
2007-03-21 03:01:37 · answer #8 · answered by Taurus 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋