When I was 4 I was molested by a older family friend (female, 11 years old ?) and it stopped maybe when I was 7. I have never told anyone and can't take it anymore I need to talk to someone. I never said anything before because she did'nt actually force me to do anything I was apart of it and would get in trouble. I didn't realise that it wasn't my fault until I was 13 and read about sexuall abuse in a pamphlet. I'm 18 now and it is still effecting me like depression, overeating, problems w/ intimacy, and trusting other females. I still am scared of telling my mom though and I don't want the other person to get in trouble because she was young too and was probably abused herself. I really want to get counseling though. Since my mom would be paying for it can a therapist tell her what I said about my abuse, how does it work?. And, how do i tellmy mom I want therapy.
2007-03-20 19:54:25 · 9 answers · asked by gloriousnina 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I'm sorry that happened to you. You are 18 yrs. old, and from what I understand, what you tell the counselor is confidential-between you and the counselor. As for telling your mom you want counseling-you could just tell her you have been going thru a REALLY tough time, and REALLY need to talk with a counselor. If that isn't enough to convince her, let her know you have been noticing yourself dealing with depression, and trust of friends, to a point. The depression part should be enough. Only if you truly get to the point with your mom, that you absolutely have to tell her what happened, you have a choice: 1) To go ahead and tell her what happened, but not disclose a name, or 2) Tell your mom that after some counseling, when you are feeling more confident about discussing what is troubling you with her, you will let her know. And, please let her know that it might be a little while of counseling before you can tell her. Keep in mind, your mom loves you, and wants the best for you. If any/all part of this helps you to know what/when to say, to your mom, I hope it has helped. By the way, yes, I think you are right about the person who did this to you. I wish you the best. Take care.
2007-03-20 20:08:52 · answer #1 · answered by SAK 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you are 18 and you are in therapy you should feel confident that what you say to your therapist is between the 2 of you. This will not go away on its own. I was abused as a child and it still affected me into My adult life. I only recently got some help with it and it made me understand some choices i made as a young women. don't wait until you are older you should get the help you need now.
2007-03-24 22:31:47 · answer #2 · answered by tnlstn 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First off now that you're 18, you have no worries of your mom finding out anything. Thanks to paitent privacy laws once you are no longer a minor anything you share with a doctor or therapist can not release information to anyone else without your permission. (READ WHAT YOU SIGN, it could be a waiver of that right for your parents or guardians.) Telling your mom you wan't therapy is going to be difficult there's no way arround that, but my advice would be to say that it's something that you don't think you can tell her, but that you want the therapy in order to be able to. That way she isn't hurt that you feel you can't tell her something because you're showing that you want to be able to but need time and help first. Also, there are plenty of free hotlines out there for sexual abuse victims to call, and can really help in times like this.
2007-03-21 03:06:05 · answer #3 · answered by hiller128 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Dear Gorious, what happened when u was 4 is not yr fault. Actually a lot of children face similar situation. Try to put it out of your head. U are a good girl, REMEMBER!!! There's no need to do yourself down, you weren't to blame.
But if u really want to visit a therapist, go. Do not be afraid that yr mom won 't understand u. Just tell her that u really want therapy.
2007-03-27 16:22:16 · answer #4 · answered by Maria Monsegur 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was molested too , but i never told my parents. It could make your mom upset like she should have known and stopped it. But go to counseling, talk to your school or community service they can tell you how to see a free counsellor. kids help phone will listen. Try not to think of it as being forced into sexual contact. You guys were young it was experimental. Thats a part of growing up. Kids do things like that all the time. i know iam a mom.
2007-03-21 03:04:08 · answer #5 · answered by vsexygirl 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
This is a very sad situation....Unfortunately, it is also common.
You are in a lot of pain, obviously, so you need to look for help immediately.
Depending on who you speak to, they will give you different ideas. Here are my 5 cents' worth:
1. Go to a church and talk to a pastor or clergyman. God is the ultimate source of happiness, peace and health.
2. Get a medical checkup and see if you could be depressed. This means taking pills after a doctor sees you.
3. Get a psychiatrist or a couselor to talk to you. .Someone who knows about this and how to deal with it effectively.
Get help soon......You will be in my prayers.
2007-03-25 21:01:37 · answer #6 · answered by Nena S 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think the best thing is to sit down with your mom and you and her talk and you tell her about it. Tell her how much its bothering you and that you want to go to therapy. Believe me she should understand and thats the only way you going to be able to go to therapy. No one derserves to be moslested that is very wrong, for that person to have done that to you. And im sorry you had to go through that. But if you tell your mom about it, it might help you some talking to your mom about it.
Good luck and i hope that you talk to someone and it helps
2007-03-26 02:15:05 · answer #7 · answered by key to your answer 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think you should tell your mother everythng and tell her you need councelling because it is affecting your life. go talk to your family physician because he might want to put you on medication to keep you from being depressed. something like wellbutrin would also help with the appetite and overeatting. it might be that the girl needs help as well confronting her abuser, or she might just need councelling. there is the possibility she is abusing others still. the therapist can not tell her because of confidentiality laws but i believe your mother needs to hear it from you. talk to her today.
2007-03-21 03:29:34 · answer #8 · answered by misse 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Just be COOL.......
Dont think about your past.....
Listen Music.... Study well... Go outside
& just have patience Forget abt everything which had happened in the past.....
GOOD LUCK !!!!!!!!!
& BE happy
2007-03-21 02:59:08 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋