What should I do?

Question

When I was 4 I was molested by a older family friend (female, 11 years old ?) and it stopped maybe when I was 7. I have never told anyone and can't take it anymore I need to talk to someone. I never said anything before because she did'nt actually force me to do anything I was apart of it and would get in trouble. I didn't realise that it wasn't my fault until I was 13 and read about sexuall abuse in a pamphlet. I'm 18 now and it is still effecting me like depression, overeating, problems w/ intimacy, and trusting other females. I still am scared of telling my mom though and I don't want the other person to get in trouble because she was young too and was probably abused herself. I really want to get counseling though. Since my mom would be paying for it can a therapist tell her what I said about my abuse, how does it work?. And, how do i tellmy mom I want therapy.

Answer 1

Just tell your mom you feel like you need to see a professional. I am sure she knows you have been going through bouts of depression. mom's kind of know those things about their kids. and no they are not allowed to tell your mom what you say during those sessions. that would break the patient client privilege which is against the law. And you are over 18 so you are the one who has control over your medical treatment. If your mom asks why you need to talk to some one and why not her just tell her that you love her and that she gives you what you need but sometimes you think a professional can explain why you have the feelings you have in a different way.. Never say better... and tell her you love her too much to put every little thing on her shoulders and that you would rather spend your time on girl talk or shopping or something that moms and daughters like to do.

Answer 2

Wow, I am so sorry you had to go through such a horrible thing. You've already taken the first step by realizing that it is not your fault, and that what she did was wrong. I'm proud of you that you want to confess this secret to your mother, here is what I think you should do.
Find a time when she is in a good mood and you're in private. Then maybe say "Mom, this may sound strange but I've had a secret to tell you and it's been really hard for me to admit it" and then tell her what happened and try and keep it together. She may start to cry or she may be angry but remind her of the way you feel. Then, if possible, try and press charges against the awful peron that harmed you.

I think you should definately seek counseling for this because it's obviously caused you to be depresed, overeat etc. Talking to a therapist or maybe to someone else who has been molested can help.

Good luck, I hope the best for you:)

Answer 3

http://www.findingtherapy.org/index.aspx

The link above will help you find a therapist in your area however the phone numbers below will help you talk to your mom about needing help and they might be able ti help you over the phone for free so you will not need to speak to a therapist after all. I pray that you will get the closure and deliverance that you want to receive from the situation ,

Sexual Abuse Hot lines
Girls and Boys Town
A national hot line that girls and boys can call with any problem at any time
1-800-448-3000
Hearing Impaired: 1-800-448-1833
http://www.girlsandboystown.org/home.asp

Sexual Assault Hot lines in the U.S. from The Feminist Majority Foundation’s web site.
Local addresses and phone numbers for every state.
http://www.feminist.org/911/resources.html


United Way Helpline
1-800-233-HELP (1-800-233-4357)

The Nationwide Crisis Hot line
1-800-333-4444

The Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network - National Sexual Assault Hotline
1-800-656-HOPE
http://www.rainn.org

Answer 4

I have to ask, was it really abuse? ALL kids experiment with their sexual feelings, sometimes with others that are willing to go along with it. It's a common occurrance that you shouldn't feel guilty about or blame the older girl for (she was a child too). You said it stopped when you were seven. So it stopped when the older girl was fourteen. That was when she hit puberty and discovered that the experimenting needed to stop. Again, very normal behavior for children of that age.
You can tell you mom what you experienced without giving her the details, just that you 'd like a few councelling sessions to help you get it off your mind. You needn't name names or specify her age when it started because your mom could figure out who you were experimenting with. Good luck to you.

Answer 5

Sounds like normal curiosity to me. I would not get too concerend over it,,,maybe vent to a freiand, or the clergy, if you feel you should not tell your mom. I dobt the other girl is going to get into a lot of trouble, for "messing around" at that young age. Maybe talk to the other girl about it,is best, and clear the air, with her,,You are both grown up now,,and maybe you would helping BOTH of you to discuss it. Good luck,,oh, do not feel guilty,,,I bet most girls do at least a little mesing around, out of curiosity.

Answer 6

Be brave and talk urgent to your mum and a therapist. Dont cover the one who assaultet you, there is anytime a chance she does it again! Prevent this by teling your mum and the police! Apart from that, if you tell to the people, the other needs, and perhaps gets, therapie as well if you tell mum!
Please do it! I know how a destroid live is! Do it!!

Answer 7

OH Hunny Bunny!
I am facing all this too in therapy, I don't know how to tell you to experience this, but if you are in a safe situation now, please tell everyone!!!!!!!!!!!! Do not stop with your couselor, bring your mom in and air it!!! But bring your mom to the couselor, because she was abused too and you need her help in understanding. If you don't, it will be like living in a fire station the rest of your life, the alarms are constantly going off, you might marry but it won't be happy, you kinda like your family, crap like that, please have a better life for yourself,
Love ya, good luck
Monique

Answer 8

if you can't tell anyone bout your problem.. then you should consult a psychologist... he/she could surely help.. and by the way.. even though you tell someone bout your problem, it still will do no good.. consulting a psychologist is the best way.. hop u get better