I'm afraid to date because from what I hear every guy out there expects sex before marriage. I really hope that's not true because I won't do it. I think it's reasonable and fair that he waits if he is going to date me. I mean, why is premarital sex so important to him if he'll eventually get it anyway and in the mean time can just touch himself if he needs release? Why can't people be more respectful and tolerant?
2007-03-20 19:07:47 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Oh yeah and I'm not even religious so please don't pull that card.
2007-03-20 19:10:08 · update #1
Why YTM? Because of my pride and self-respect. Plus, premarital sex is way more trouble than it's worth, has caused several problems to society. I understand people make mistakes, but then they shouldn't pressure or disrespect people that don't give in.
2007-03-20 19:20:52 · update #2
I think you have your priorities right but so much hype is giving to being sexual that it can appear all guys want to go there ASAP, however, thats not the case...just be selective and clear about the limitations in your relationships and you will end up with someone who respects your wishes.
2007-03-20 19:13:13 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 2⤋
Guys are controlled by their testosterone,. Once a guy has had sex (or many girls for that matter) there's no way he's going back to no sex. No you are not unreasonable to ask that and expect that. You have a right to control your life and your body and when where and with whom you have sex is completely your choice. Never let anyone pressure you into anything you don't want to do especially a boyfriend. Dating is great but is mostly a learning experience. You learn about yourself and how relationships work. These relationships don't last forever and aren't intended to so why should you do something in a temporary situation that isn't what you want to do. Don't be afraid to date but be upfront and tell any guy you go out with more than once or twice exactly where you stand. It's not necessary to tell before that because no one has any right to know personal information about you before that. Have a good time and enjoy being young! It's over all too quickly!
The argument that you shouldn't wait for fear of not being sexually compatible with your husband is nonsense. That can be worked out. Sexual compatibility is not something so cut and dried. You can be sexually compatible with someone who's completely wrong for you to spend a lifetime with. Once you are engaged you may feel differently but there's no reason to rush it now.
2007-03-20 19:23:14 · answer #2 · answered by MissWong 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Dear, it's the way the male animal is made. Otherwise the male would not put up with the quirks of the female animal.
You don't have to have sex before marriage. That is totally up to you. Some men will look elsewhere, others will respect you. You can't generalize. Meet people, don't have sex on the first day, and see what happens.
Staying in your room, afraid, isn't a good way to live. No one is going to force you if you don't allow sex.
2007-03-20 19:28:14 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know what you mean!! You just wait untill you are ready. If you do not it could do some type of emotional damage like it did to me.. So tell the guys to back up. Soo many girls feel presured to have sex, so they do have sex.I think Most people regret one night stands. Sex is every where. People think it is ok because of t.v, friends, and rolemodles. If he does not respect you now there is no point being with someone who does not respect your boundries. Wait..The right man will come along and not expect sex right away. these types of guys are called gentalmen. but they are few and far beyween. So do some resurch on is the grass greener on the other side too.lol
2007-03-20 19:17:14 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
because they're men, and they'll try to get it if they can. Not all men are like that... don't be scared to get out there and date because of them. You're going to run across plenty, that's for sure... but you're probably going to run into them even in you don't date, or if you do. After someone has sex, "touching themselves for release" doesn't quite fill everything that sex does. But you're right, it shouldn't be expected, and if you don't want it say no. When you're dating put it out there on the table, let guys know that you're not interested in it. and if they're not respectful or tolerant of that decision then you just saved yourself a lot of time.
2007-03-20 19:12:36 · answer #5 · answered by LoveisfirE 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Don't expect the card not to be pulled if you know it is usually a religious subject.
It doesn't have to be religious. It is respect for someone you care about. If they like you for who you are, then they shouldn't care about what your going to give them.
Sex is important in marriage, but not the reason we get married. If they can't respect you for wanting to wait, you just need to hold out for someone who can.
Also, there is only a first time one time. I wouldn't give it away to just anyone.
2007-03-20 19:19:23 · answer #6 · answered by 3littlebirds 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Why wouldn't you want to sleep with your boyfriend or girlfriend before marriage? I see nothing wrong with it, as long as it is a real and loving relationship. It is better to get used to it and know what is expected of you. Men naturally expect sex in a relationship. They wouldn't be men if they weren't. Because women are expected to be puritanical angels, heaven forbid if they have sex with a guy they love, this old double standard makes things difficult. I am not in favour of anyone using anyone else. I lived in Banff. I saw what went on with young people. The girls were usually drugged-up and drunk when the guys took them. And take them, they did.
2007-03-20 19:13:57 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
The men are only thinking that waiting for the marriage makes them feel like they are missing out on something and they are only thinking about what they want right away. Temptation.
2007-03-20 19:12:46 · answer #8 · answered by ldpompy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, that may biuld up a connection between two people
depends on how u look at it
you have your prespective, but most people do have sex before marriage; it isnt always disrespectful...and men arent always the ones that want that either...and exploration and stuff.....im not possitive, thats just my opinion
[14 yr. old, so yeah]
2007-03-20 19:14:57 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
D answer is simple , explain Y God create Eve for Adam , Y we study History not Herstory , Y since Mankind , man are known as HUNTER ,hunting for food & go for wars and not woman ? D answer is simply its Mankind not Herkind .
2007-03-20 20:22:05 · answer #10 · answered by Bigun 1 · 0⤊ 2⤋