Is Platonic love also infidelity?

Question

I am a 28 year old maried woman, my husband is mostly on tours and i also work,due to loneliness i got close to a man in our neighbourhood and we fing each other in a emotional bonding,wedo not look for sexual peasures ,but we feel for each other,he is a widower and decent man,to be frank we love each other,is this also infidelity or just pure platonic love.we both need companionship.

Answer 1

Debatable....but you need to draw the line,right away!
infidelity isn't only looking for physical pleasures outside a committed relation like marriage.....seeing to your description of circumstances, seeing a friend for sharing time and moments of loneliness in the warmth of a friend are very much fine.
But, at the same time you admit being more involved emotionally than simple friendship....this is what needs to be looked at.
Be very sure of your priorities...if you wish to keep your marriage safe.....you definitely need to draw a line and limit your feelings for your new friend.
According to me, you are definitely heading towards danger, so its the right time to analyse your priorities...and get back to a safer zone.
Good Luck!

Answer 2

At this point it is not infidelity, although that kind of emotional connection with another person could be as harmful to your marriage as actually having sex with this man. And if you continue to be lonely in your marriage and getting closer to this other man... it's probably just a matter of time before it becomes physical. I don't know what kind of 'tours' your husband is on.. is it possible for him to do something else for a living? Absence does NOT make the heart grow fonder... if you can't be together you need to look into your heart and decide if you want to remain in a lonely marriage.. find some other less potentially dangerous companionship.. or divorce and not worry about whether or not you're being unfaithful.

If you feel like what you are doing is infidelity... then it may as well be.

Answer 3

The moment u have confessed that u love each other, it is not platonic love. However u are still not guilty of infidelity, but the situation can chage very fast, unless u take care. As the saying goes, from loneliness u seek companionship and then it is love, now sex is only a small step away. Draw the line and retreat a bit, or u may make the mistake of a lifetime, and maybe break your marriage.

Answer 4

Ask yourself this: If your husband on his various tours is also lonely and forms an "emotional bonding" -- of the type you share with your gentleman friend -- with some other woman (without getting physical), would you accuse him of infidelity, or would you call it platonic, and therefore acceptable?
In your answer to this question, you will find the answer to your question.

You have to decide how much your marriage means to you. If you love your husband, want to keep your family intact, then you're treading dangerous ground.

Answer 5

I suppose it depends on who gets hurt in the end. If your widower friend is content to just have a friendship, then I would suggest not letting on to him that it feels like anything more than that. If he stands to get hurt, best to sever the relationship as early as possible to avoid worse consequences. If you love your husband, keep those feelings to yourself, or he gets hurt in the end. If you tell yourself the love must end for the widower, at least the feelings that are pushing you to the edge of infidelity, then in time they'll recede. If you've already spoken to the widower about how you feel, it may have undesirable consequences in the end, but hope for the best and let him know you won't leave your husband; if that's your desire. The decision is ultimately yours, but I think if you plan on leaving your husband, and he's been good to you, he deserves an explanation as well.
As far as infidelity goes, a thought is a thought. Sometimes they come, and it's not how we like to think of ourselves, but acting upon it is where the boundary breaks. If you've been professing your unrequited love to this widower, you have in effect, betrayed your husband. If you haven't been, then your thoughts are yours to keep.
That's my two cents for ya.

Answer 6

yours is just a loneliness which is in common and a harmless bond according to me but there is a very thin line between the thought of infidelity and platonic love if you are able to recognise the difference good for you or tomorrow may be troublesome if you think of sailing in two boats, life can be quite frustrating so better choose which one would be ideal or you might cheat yourself in confusion.

Answer 7

Sounds like your heading down the wrong path with him. He may be too shy to make a move, but eventually he will and the question is how will you react? And yes I would consider that infidelity. Even worse then a online love that lives 5000 miles away, because you actually see this person.

Answer 8

If it's platonic, it's not really infidelity.. But it may be an emotional "affair". You should talk to your husband to work out your issues.. You sound unhappy. If you continue to confide in people other than your husband you will distance yourself further from him.

Answer 9

Having a caring friend isn't infidelity. Everyone needs someone to talk to and yours happens to be a man. Just be sure he feels the same and isn't hoping for more. You don't want to hurt him if he feels you're leading him on.

Answer 10

Absolute infidelity. Sooner or later emotional intimacy would transform into physical intimacy.
You are not a kid, so chose the path that you feel is right, but then be prepared to say bye to your marriage too !!!!!