How do I go about showing the real me at school?

Question

In secoundry school

I don't know who I am any more!
People are nasty 2 me, i try to be more like them! But i don't want to be!

Answer 1

First, stop worrying about the "real" you. Nobody ever shows the "real" them in public. The "real" you is who you are in private. "Character" is not what you do when people are watching, it's what you do when they're not.

Answer 2

You will never be 'like them' -your best plan is to be yourself. Some people will like you (say 5%) and some people will have a go at you (say 5%) but most will be indifferent.
You can get by with two or three friends - the sort to walk to school with- without any of them being especially close.

Being yourself gives you a lot more freedom - to choose who you want to be friends with, who you want to ignore, exactly how you want to behave. You don't have to figure out if what you want to do is ok with anyone before you do it, you just do it. It gives you an edge because people won't be able to predict what you might do, and that will keep some of them off you.

As to the one's being nasty to you - make time to read a book called 'Ender's Game'. It is sci-fi abt a boy who is bullied as soon as nobody is watching - and how he figures out for himself how to deal with it. Think abt it, you don't have to be nice to everyone- sooner or later there will be someone who needs to find out you 'bite'. Just keep them to very rare occasions and make sure they don't come back for more.

Answer 3

Hi Tattybow

I remember feeling exactly like this when I was at secondary school. It took me well into my twenties to figure out that it's ok to have your own thoughts and opinions.

I used to find the girls I was at school with really bitchy and it annoyed me that you couldn't trust them to keep what you said safe or quiet unless you said "don't tell anyone this." ! I did have two friends that I could trust totally. I discovered from talking to friends (now in my 30's) that everyone felt that they didn't know who they were as a teenager and worried that they didn't fit in. Unfortunatly it's all part of becoming an adult (which I have to say is much more fun so hang on in there!!!)

People mature at different rates and I realised much later, that in terms of relationships and how I felt people should treat each other, I was years ahead of my peers. Yet at the time I thought it was me with a problem because I felt diffferently and behaved differently to everyone else.

No one has the right to change the way you feel and behave except you. Don't be tempted to drag yourself down to their level just to fit in. You say you don't want to be nasty to people. I applaud you. Dare to be different. Stand out from the crowd. Don't behave in a way you'll regret in years to come.

I went to a school renunion about 10 years after I left school. Before I went I sentimentally thought, with a tinge of regret, how I'd lost touch with so many "friends". However within an hour of being there I soon realised exactly WHY! So many were still treating others badly, had the same hang ups and really had not moved on in that decade. How tragic is that?

I may have felt out of place as a teenager but I would never have done anything that I didn't feel right about doing just to fit in. Let's face it you can't choose who you are at school with, but you can choose how you treat them, how you let them treat you and how you react to the situations you find yourself in there. The phrase "Do unto others as you would have done to you" is so true. Be true to yourself and what you believe to be right in everything you say and do, at school and elsewhere. If something feels bad doing it, STOP! Listen to your gut feelings in everything. I'm sure you have at least one friend you can really trust. Stick with them, treasure them. I have one friend I have known since 5 years old and the rest of my fantastic friends I have made since leaving school, with one or two good, true friends made in every job I've been in.

If you are being bullied by these people then speak to a teacher or parent about it.

Good luck! And remember dare to be different!

Answer 4

just be yourself. don't try to impress nobody by acting in a way you don't normally act. join clubs or activities of things you like to do and are good at. this way you will truly stand out and others will start to notice you more.

Answer 5

Remove all masks and wigs and get your name tattooed on your forehead.

Answer 6

Just turn up naked.

Answer 7

be yourself