what do you do when your boyfriend of 2 years tells you that he's not attracted to you anymore b/c you gained a little weight? I've been dating my BF for 2 years now and things were going good and even talking about marriage and he mentions that he's not attracted to me anymore. I did gain about 15lbs...not that serious and I'm trying to work on it. Anyhow, he says he loves me and is attracted to me in other ways, but I think that just sounds like he's content and scared to break up with me or go through the hassle. (he's passive) I feel that it's more of sisterly love b/c attraction does matter, but I know isn't everything. I'm confused. We're so close to going to the next step and now I don't think we stand a chance. I said we should break up, but of course he says that's not what he wants. What should I do?
2007-03-20 18:49:50 · 18 answers · asked by confusedfatgirl 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
To me if he says that its a red flag, if you are in a relationship and they claim they love you, your 15 pound weight gain should have nothing to do with anything.... what would happen if you were married and became pregnant and gained weight then what? he should be attracted to the person you are not by your size, because ppl do change during the course of a relationship physcially and mentally and its all par for the course, but its about the person you are that matters...
2007-03-20 22:22:30 · answer #1 · answered by Renee 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think that if he really loves you, he would still be attracted to despite weight gain (and 15 lbs isn't even all that much). If he is automatically not attracted to you b/c of weight gain, then it means he never loved you in the first place, just liked you, and for a very shallow reason, making him a shallow guy even if it didn't seem that way. But, it could also be that maybe it's not really the weight gain that bothers him, maybe he did love you but has grown detached from you and is maybe falling out of love you, and is just using the weight gain thing as a cover-up when it's much deeper than that. But i would really tell him your exact feelings, give him an ultimatum, either he accepts you as you are now, or you can break up with him. I think though if he has lost attraction in you, you're better off breaking up with him. But if you can't bare to do that, then talk it out with him and see if things improve.
2007-03-20 18:57:58 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is utterly ridiculous. He shouldn't be picky about the size. If he truly loves you, he wouldn't even care. And when he says that he's attracted to you in other ways, then you have to start asking some questions. Weight gain or not, he shouldn't be saying those stuff. I would highly suggest you to dump him. He shouldn't judge you on the outside for what you look like. Everybody comes in different shapes and sizes but all of them are equal. Don't worry about the weight. Have fun with life and enjoy other things that are better. He needs to get another life.
2007-03-20 19:10:18 · answer #3 · answered by anonymous 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well first of all it doesnt matter what he wants, it's your life - would you like to spend your life with a man being self conscious about whether or not he likes you physique all the time? I dont think that would be a happy relationship - unless your content marrying your "brother" then I would seriously consider ending the relationship - love is blind - if he loves you he shouldn't care what you look like. Consider this , and im not trying to make you jealous. I've gained ten pounds since i've been with my boyfriend and he tells me everyday that im beautiful and that he loves the way i look even when im having a "fat" day - so i consider this sincere true love and i know im very lucky! please know that there are people out there that will love you no matter how you look
2007-03-20 19:18:28 · answer #4 · answered by absolut_nixter 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He doesn't deserve you if he is going to be that picky. A girl's grace will always outdo a guy's feeble attempt at it. A guy cannot match the grace of a girl, and most certainly can't bring it into question.
Dump him tomorrow and never look back.
2007-03-20 18:53:39 · answer #5 · answered by perfectlybaked 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dump this shallow jerk! If someone really loves you, your weight wouldnt be a big deal to them. And gaining 15lbs is not a lot... so i dont know why he doesnt like you now because you only gained a little bit more heavier, which is very unnoticable. So just move on because this guy isnt worth your time.
2007-03-20 19:03:21 · answer #6 · answered by =P 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What an a$$hole...he tried to say it nicely by saying he is attracted to you in other ways. that's total b/s I would be seriously p***ed if my boyfriend said that to me...I get the sense he is immature and only dating you because of your looks...Don't work on it unless you aren't comfortable with it yourself...don't change because someone else doesn't like it.
2007-03-20 18:54:36 · answer #7 · answered by 10.95 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would try to work out a bit extra and shed those extra pounds off. Like in a relationship you have to continue to impress the other. He loves you and he's telling you the truth. So just shed it off. Looks do matter a couples should keep striving to look good for eachother.
2007-03-20 18:56:10 · answer #8 · answered by dreemz07 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Kick that boy to the side walk - he either loves you or not. Find a man that will love you like a woman, not like his sister! One that will love you no matter what.
Due to medications and health issues I have gained 100# since my hubby and I married 9 years ago and we still love and make love like it was the first time - he sees "me" - not my body and he tells me that I am beautiful all the time (pretty eyes, perfect nose etc...
2007-03-20 18:59:35 · answer #9 · answered by Believe 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dump his ass!!
that is so rude.
but think of it this way...what if he gained weight? would you like it? or would YOU say something?
but the fact that you have only gained 15lbs, i dont think its the weight gain it just sounds like he is making excuses and beating around the bush, get out while you can
2007-03-20 19:00:00 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋