I have a boyfriend who I love very much. We have been going for almost 3 years now. But the thing is he is wanting to get married in the next 2 years and I really do not want to get married yet. My career is more important to me than anything else. I just accepted a job in a different country and I'll be gone for a couple years.
We've been having problems with this. He wants to get married and does not want me to go. I keep telling him to have a little faith and we'll make it work. I'm so stressed out and don't know what to do. I love him and I don't want to lose him but at the same him my career is very important to me.
2007-03-20 18:23:59 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Honestly, if you are choosing a career over him, than you shouldn't get married. You need to have the same kind of goals, or be willing to support one another in achieving those goals. It sounds like you don't have either. I think this is a convient way to break it off.
2007-03-20 18:27:16 · answer #1 · answered by Melissa R 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This may not be what your looking for but I'm going with the boyfriend on this 1. If your willing to put a career ahead of your relationship, that'll 100% make him feel unwanted. So I would re-think your job oppurtunity. Because today, in reality, how long will that relationship last if your half way across the world?
Just talk to him, and if he really means that much to you, you'll do the right thing
Good luck
2007-03-21 01:28:42 · answer #2 · answered by Savannah 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're doing the right thing. Get your carreer going first.
Try to explain it to him. If the 2 of you got married before you reached your goal, the marriage would be bound to fail because you would be gone most of the time. He would probably end up looking for someone to have sex with and that's the fastest road to divorce.
Maybe he can spend some time with you abroad to keep the love viable between you but marriage is something you just can't preoccupy yourself with just yet.
I hope he understands how vitaly important your carreer is to you.
If he really loves you, he will wait.
I hope it works out.
It's refreshing to hear a woman who knows what she wants out of life and it's not just a fling with some gorgeous hunk.
You are smart. You will make it! Good for you!
Finally, a woman on here with a brain!
Just keep explaining it to him til he gets it. Your constantly telling him that you love only him has GOT to help.
He has to trust you if the 2 of you are going to ever be able to make it work in the future.
The marriage is MUCH more likely to succeed, if you have a good carreer to rely on for finances.
Lack of money is the #1 cause for divorce. Mention that to him.
Good luck! I know you will be successful. You've got what it takes.
2007-03-21 01:38:41 · answer #3 · answered by Molly 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to break up with him.
The reason he is so adamant about getting married is he wants to tie you down. He knows if you leave it's over, the only question is who breaks who's heart and when. Long distance relationships don't work and you are just fooling yourself to think otherwise. It's insulting for you just to say "have faith and we'll make it work"...you won't and can't.
You need to move on and live your life. Move away with no looking back, expand your mind and soul. If not you will regret it later, don't do that.
2007-03-21 01:31:39 · answer #4 · answered by Just a friend. 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Look this is simple.. doesnt seem like it but it is.. you do what u have to do to secure your future financially if thats what is important to u , u do it.. IF he's the "ONE" the "ONE" your meant to be with forever, he will get over it, and support u in whatever u have to do, if he is willing to leave ur side, for you to persue your happiness, then he is not the "ONE" and u'd be willing to give up your goals for someone who you will eventually end up resenting, and it will not work out. So u take the job, and if he loves u, he'll support u in it, and be willing to follow u to the ends of the earth to be with u.. if he gives u a choice, him or your career, then he's not worth it.. u have to protect u now.. u will hate urself and him if u give up your dreams, to make someone else happy..
2007-03-21 01:35:07 · answer #5 · answered by brwneyedgrl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, that is a tough one. i guess in this situation no one will help you, but you. You have to decide what is more important to you: your love life or your career. What makes you happy? What do you want to accomplish? Also it would be helpful to know your age, to give you more certain answer, but in the end, you will have to choose. We can not have it all. They are always sacrifices. Now is your time to decide what are you going to sacrifice: your love and happiness or your career and wealth. It is your life and it is in your hands. Whatever you decide, I hope you will be happy with your decision.
2007-03-21 01:37:39 · answer #6 · answered by Julia 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, jobs are what keep you alive! getting married is animportant little aspect of your life but tell your boyfriend if you can make a deal when to get married 2 years may seem far but it aint! he will miss you, and ask him 3 years other then that you're on your own!
yeah okay! bye
2007-03-21 01:33:09 · answer #7 · answered by FlowerChild ✿ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your are certain that there is no way for you to have the cake and eat it too, try answering to yourself the following question:
Which of the two is more important to me, my career or him?
Your sincere answer to the above question will help you decide what to do.
2007-03-21 01:29:58 · answer #8 · answered by frivologs 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you are going to get married one day you will have to deal with far harder things than living apart for a few years. if he believes you should be together and you believe that you have to go for your career he should move to be with you.
2007-03-21 01:27:29 · answer #9 · answered by imnotachickenyoureaturkey 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There's no reason to rush in to marriage. If you know that it's something you don't want right now why be pushed in to it to meet his insecutries? You go do that job and if it's meant to be you two will reconnect.
2007-03-21 01:27:28 · answer #10 · answered by Serinity4u2find 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋