I am losing it. I am a mother of 4. Three are grown and then I have a two year old. I have a husband that comes home, takes a shower and goes to bed..or engulfs himself in his tv or computer. I can't say that I blame him, life with kids can be pretty crazy...but I am feeling alone here. When my husband goes to bed the loud snoaring begins. I have no spare bedroom. My 23 year old son moved in with us 6 months ago. He sleeps on the couch. He wrecked his truck yesterday and has no money. He is totally irresponsible with his money. He does have a job and needs me to take him to work now. It is quite a drive. My 18 year old sons girlfriend broke up with him and he is heartbroken. I am worried about him. My 25 year old daughter is off doing her own thing with her two year old daughter in Foster Care. I am trying to be a good mother...but I am losing it. I cannot get any sleep because of the snoaring, which makes me an awfully grumpy parent in the morning. I just feel overwhelmed. HELP!
2007-03-20 17:50:38 · 12 answers · asked by rcpaden 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
It is your duty as a mother to love your children unconditionally. It is ALSO your duty to kick those grown children of yours in the behind. They are adults and are responsible for themselves. If your son is staying with you, he better be working and paying you rent as well as giving you money for groceries and cleaning up after himself. He needs to carpool with someone he works with until he can get another car. Stop letting everyone take advantage of you. When your husband gets home from work let him have 30 mins to unwind. Then LEAVE THE HOUSE! Go get a pedicure, go take a walk through the park, go to a friends house and cry. whatever. That is his child too and he needs to step up! Has he tried the snoring strips? Maybe he needs surgery? whatever, he needs to take care of that, that would drive me batty!!
2007-03-20 17:58:52 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
"I am losing it. I am a mother of 4. Three are grown and then I have a two year old. I have a husband that comes home, takes a shower and goes to bed..or engulfs himself in his tv or computer." -You have multiple problems and should adress them seperately luckily for you this seems like the most serious one. If you are having relationship issues which is unknown to me, seek counsleing if not try warming up to him or try being more clear with what your needs are whether it be attention or help with the homestead.
2007-03-21 01:48:53 · answer #2 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try Breathe Right strips for your hubby. They didn't work for mine, but it's an option. He may have sleep apnea. Have you noticed any stopped breathing? Actually, my hubby got his tonsils out and the doctor also cut the uvula out (that hanging ball in the your throat). The snoring isn't so bad now. YOu don't have a spare bedroom, but do you have any other room you can turn into a bedroom? Or maybe just a place to make room for a bed or another couch?
Your 23 year old needs to save some money and move out of your house. Work with him on some kind of budget/saving plan.
Your 18 year old will be fine. Broken hearts heal quite quickly even when it doesn't seem like it ever will.
It sounds to me like you're doing great and it's everyone around you who has the problems. You can always unplug the tv and computer for a night. Heck, flip the breaker and tell them all the electric company is working on it. That will give you time to talk to everyone.
I wish I could offer you something better. Good luck!
2007-03-21 01:00:36 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ok, first thing is first. I know this is going to sound selfish, but start focusing on yourself more. Like get your nails done, buy a new out fit, make a girls night out. Also focus on the things that effect you. You can not help that your 23 year old son wrecked his car. Maybe he could find someone around to carpool with for work. Help him also save money. Take half of his pay away and hide it. After two months, give half to him. This will help him learn to save. Your 18 year old will feel upset, he just got dumped. There is nothing you can do but talk to him. You can even go out and take him along with you, this will give you both a big chance to get closer. You 25 year old daughter, well that is beyond your control. She is a parent now and will have to learn on her own. For your husband, make at least one night out of the week that the two of you go out even if it is for grocery shopping. At least you two will get to spend time with each other. Also breathe right strips should work for the snoring. You are doing a wonderful job by trying to care to everyone. Good luck. I hoped this helped.
2007-03-21 01:00:42 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
smoke weed. No joke it really help alot. some might thing it is evil but that is a lie. no one in this planet has died from smoking weed. It if you do your reseach it is actually has medical application. The only reason that it was outlaw because it works and the pharmicitucal companies do not want to lose profits from it so they lobby congress. Anyways enough about that. First i think you need to get your tubes tied. Not you hubby but you. The reason is with the situation of unstable relationship causes some to stray (70%). To be honest my parent were very stirct with my upbring and I am glad but right now is too late. First your 25 year old daughter has lost the baby to the system. There is nothing you can do for her except to give advice. Your 18 son sould be in college study so hard that he just have enough time to sleep. Believe me when i went to college and worked part-time. A girlfriend was the last thing on my mind. For his heartbreak sould be a lesson learned. My first date was when I was 21. I stayed in school and became educated. When you get older with a degree it is harder mess your life up. For your son that lives with you. I understand your situation. My brother does the same. My suggestion is to find a job closer. Then invest in a bicycle. That is right Your objective is to be less overwhelmed. How is your son going to appreciate what you are doing unless you give less. For example, when I went to the Marines i would stand or sit on the floor. There was no chairs. Something simple like that will give apprecition to what he has including money which you mention is not in his good favor. Education is the key to get out of poverty. Unless you are rich yourself, your siturtion is not going to change EVER.
If you are in the lower bracket income there is finacial help for college students. It is a process but I have see worse. My mom came to this country not knowing english and now she is a physical therapist. She raised 3 kids with a working father. I grew up very poor and life sux. You did what you could do. The snoring part I know first hand. I snore loudly when I am tired. The best advice is for him to go to bed early. It will help in the look run. There are devices out there that can help. What you can do is post in answer.yahoo on how to prevent snoring. Mabye someone can help you. I wish you the best. If you want to email me go ahead.
2007-03-21 01:16:29 · answer #5 · answered by cc rider 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
We all go through this phase in life..i feel for you. It's like we have given everything and all that we see are still chaos and madness .It can be frustrating and stressful . I think that you should allow yourself to de stress. Talk to your family about how you feel. Your children are already responsible adults already and they should be able to take care of their own mess. Stop feeling guilty over their decisions in life. Live your life and get a vacation. In regards to your husband, ask him to have a check up with a doctor. Heavy snoring actually is a manifestation of poor health. To end, Count your blessings. Families are blessings and not a curse!
2007-03-21 01:11:37 · answer #6 · answered by bittersweetlove21 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
wow. have you tried talking to your husband about how u feel? i mean, seriously sitting him down, with no one around...and telling him? guys ARE NOT mind readers.. they need us to 'break it down barney style' for them often.
do you have insurance also? if u do, why don't u consider seeing a therapist just because they can give you some insight as well. as for the snoring, i sympathize... besides slapping him until he wakes up...nothing seems to work for my husband. i can tell u one thing though... u may not find this helpful... but im going to say it anyways..
my stepson was in an accident in sept and is 19 and lives with us. he broke his neck. he's paralyzed and is a quad. he was suppose to start school in january this year..(college)
i'm telling u this because believe me..things can always be worse.. i'm not saying ur daughter is doing the right thing with her daughter...or ur son on the couch..but my god, be thankful they are alive, and healthy... and they are able to scratch their own nose and goto the bathroom by themselves.
u don't realize how good you have it,until something dramatic happens.
but go talk to your husband .....really.
good luck
2007-03-21 01:00:56 · answer #7 · answered by keep on dreamn 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
ur just piling it on like it never ends. u need a vacation...BIG TIME. you're 18 year old should be ok...it will take him a while to get over it, but he will. just give him some time and space. ur 23 year old needs to get it together. dont let him get comfortable or else he wont want to leave again. i know this sounds bad, but u need to find a baby sitter for ur 2 year old and get out. u need some alone time...some time to think and relax. as for ur husband--only u know what u truly need to do- good luck and my prayers are with u...
2007-03-21 01:01:19 · answer #8 · answered by iuka_kuntrygirl_09 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
wow i feel sorry for you..but all i can tell you is that your children are grown they dont need you all the time to bail them out...your son should take the bus to work your other son will get over his ex..its life...an ur daughter needs to grow up and take care of her child...foster care??...thats the worst place for a child to be brought up...i dont know if u know this buh they do bad things to kids in there..so mayb you should tlk to ur daughter as for your husband tlk to him about whats going on..after all it is marriage you need to work together...and this is what i tell my mom with 3 teenage kids...she needs to take time for herself an enjoy her life...i think as a mother you have done enough you need "you time" so take it...goodluck
2007-03-21 01:00:29 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Going through all of these problems one will need counseling to help you cope. Find a friend to help you out and get your husband to see his doctor for his snoring.
2007-03-21 01:09:59 · answer #10 · answered by JoJoBa 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋