He leaves on the 1st flight out on Monday morning and returns Friday afternoon. We avarage sex 1 time a month and it almost seems that I always have to ask for it. He tells me that he is under so much stess with work and takes lexapro which decreases his sex drive. I feel like I am meeting all his needs and in return he doesnt and wont try to meet my physcial needs. I have asked him if he is seeing anyone and he tells me no.. but how does a 35 yr old man not need or want sex.
This is causing major problems. Am I missing something?!?
2007-03-20 17:41:04 · 15 answers · asked by Liz 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Yes. You're missing the fact that his medicine demolishes his sex drive. Try to be supportive of him in trying things that will help him, instead of blaming him.
2007-03-20 17:48:10 · answer #1 · answered by Ade 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Sounds like your Husband's Company/Boss is working him to hard to the point it's hurting not only your marriage but his health. If he's taking Lexapro due to stress, this DEFINATELY comes before your Sex life. You need to focus on the cause of yours and his demise and not the Symptoms.
If you need to ask and plead if not demand that he finds a different position or job that will allow you both to enjoy your marriage.......then do so.
If he resists, then it might be time to start to entertain other reasons behind his desire to be gone so much and have a 8 day a month marriage.
Dig a little deeper. I think you are just skimming the surface. Some companies could care less of their employees' lives and marriages outside the company. Such companies are home and human wreckers.
The Boss above him that is craking the whip needs to understand what he's soing to your Husband. But, better idea is for your Husband to get another job and or a lateral move in your company before your marriage is added to the casualty figures.
2007-03-20 19:06:41 · answer #2 · answered by The Sylvan Wizard 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your husband sounds like me 25 years ago. I was so focused on my career and trying to expand the family's social, economic, and financial health, I forgot about the health of my marriage. I kept excusing that each interlude was like a honeymoon, and I was going to get better with age. However, she didn't really buy that reasoning. Now that we're divorced, I look back and think maybe I should have spent more time on all the love languages. Recently, I read a book by Gary Chapman, which describes "The Five Love Languages" that men, in all our wisdom, sometime misses. Sex is just one of the languages even though we think it's the only one. You may want to get a copy (the male version for your husband) and read it together. Had I done that earlier and paid attention, it may have saved my marriage.
2007-03-20 18:03:46 · answer #3 · answered by the_md_victor 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Try this, tell him you understand how his career is important, but you are just as important or even more. The days he comes back are for the two of you, relaxing, having sex, spending time together, going on a date and staying at a hotel, getting freaky in the hallway or the bathroom of the diner. If this don't work let me know will try something else.
2007-03-20 17:54:21 · answer #4 · answered by Compa Migue 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey Liz, it's not uncommon for couples to have differing needs and drives. But to learn to live with these differences it frequently takes therapy. My suggestion is both of you see a couples therapist (MFT). If he is under stress from his job, maybe he should change jobs. Is it the money? Sometimes money isn't important as compatibility. What good is money if the marriage breaks up? If he is on medication for stress, he should ask his doctor (the one who has prescribed the meds) how long he can expect to live with a job stress like this? He needs to get a life...and the two of you need to get a marriage. If you think it's worth while to save the marriage, get him to a therapist. Now.
2007-03-20 17:51:30 · answer #5 · answered by judgebill 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Be cool and Calm
What he says can be True.
Nowadays people give so much importance to career that they neglect personal life.
What i can suggest is talk to him. There are times when you dont speak, partner thinks everything is alright.
To find out If there is any truth that he is having an affair, be positive an monitor his actions. The way he talk and perform all other duties. Is he neglecting them all.
You will hv the answer
2007-03-20 17:50:09 · answer #6 · answered by CoolestnHotest 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are not missing anything except the possibility that he
has an out of town g/f....And he may not...
Tell him that you have become unhappy and frustrated with
the lack of intimacy in the marriage....You love him and want
the marriage to work however if he does not find some way
to change things, you fear for the worst in the near future..
2007-03-20 18:09:08 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I do not know about Lexapro but I do know that some of those drugs have serious side affects. Have him ask his doctor, maybe there is something else he can take that would not affect his sex drive.
2007-03-21 07:20:30 · answer #8 · answered by big_mustache 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your not missing anything,, somethings wrong though, not normal , hell im 40 and i still cant get enough... for some reason he just doesnt seem to be interested in you. i think you have a right to be concerned,, i would corner and ask him what the hell is going on and see if you both can fix the problem.. if not things are only going to get worse
2007-03-20 17:56:25 · answer #9 · answered by WES B 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe not. He might need to see a psychologist and get a complete battery of anxiety tests and behavioral analysis. He might have to change careers and it sounds like he's all about his responsibility instead of living and enjoying life. He does not like himself, not does he Iike his job or those around him. He's basically a basket case and need a psych evaluation.
2007-03-20 17:48:42 · answer #10 · answered by Legandivori 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋