How can I support my best friend because she's going blind?

Question

She will not get better she will be blind but we don't know when. How can I help with this transition. She is already legally blind. She is married with two young children. It hurts me to see it happen But I am always there for her, I am just afraid of not being there enough or in the right way when it happens. How can I support her in wonderful way when she goes totally blind.

I can't donate my eye. That is rude an insulting. To every one else thank you, I live in a small town I don't know if there is a blind association. Does anyone have details on that? Ardmore, O.K.

Answer 1

1. Help her learn how to get around.
2. Learn with her about what's going on.
3. Maybe look into getting her a cane, seeing-eye dog, maybe even taking care of a puppy and letting it be trained just for her.
4. Becoming her help when she needs it.
5. Helping her children and husband as they make it through this trying time.
6. If you believe in prayers, let her and her family know you are praying for them and ask what they would specifically like you to pray for/about.
7. Put your number on her speed dial. Make it #1 so that it will be easier for her to dial or make emergency number(s) 1, 2, 3, and then put yours near last, or make sure she can tell the difference. If you live near her, get strong walkie talkies, or you can get a special devise that if anything happens, that at the press of one button, and emergency responder will call to check on her.
8. Be sure someone is there with her most of the time.
9. Maybe get a social worker or therapist who can teach her how to take care of herself and her children and errands and take lessons with her and help her with social security and disability.
10. Read as many books alone and with/to her about this condition so that you both can understand what you and she can do. Read other books with/to her, braille and otherwise. Let her read to you too from her braille books. Get lots of tapes she can listen to.
11. Let her know you will always be there for her as much as you can.
12. a. Learn braille with her. b. Learn how she has to get around and do things (blindfold yourself if you have to). Let her know that you want for you and her to share each other's world if she will allow it. See how much coordination and effort it really takes and you may end up admiring her all the more.
13. There was a children's book about a boy who was blinded by firecrackers and who had to use a sight dog. I read this when I was a child. Maybe try to find this and other similar books and read it to/with the children.
12. Let her learn so she can feel like she has some independence. This is a really tough time for her, and she may not be wanting to accept what's going on or the help that is being offered, much less ask for help and feeling all needy and dependent upon others. Let her know that you want to go through this with her if she will let you and if she wants you to as well and let her make the decision.
13. Offer to drive her places and go places with her as usual. There is nothing really wrong with doing the old things you used to do with a blind person. The blindness is not who the person is. But you and she will have to do the same things just differently or figure out how to do new things that replace and maybe even are better than the old things. Like going to the ice cream parlor and sampling everything, or going a restaurant (she will have to practice this more than likely).
14. Help her sort out her clothing and get matching socks and rearrange her clothes with braille markings on the dressers and organizers inside the dressers and closet. Help her sort out her money or help her get a debit card and use it, or offer to be there for her to help (but remember some people may not want your help at all or all the time and feel suffocated).
15. Talk with her and her family and specialists and see if all of you can brainstorm and come up with more ideas and plans of action.
16. Help her organize her kitchen and bathroom (and medicine cabinet) and put braille stickums or stickys on the drawers so she can easily find what she wants to eat. If you can't find braille stickums or sticky's then maybe just have certain raised places with individual stickers (like numbers or dots) or make your/her own braille bumps.
17. a. Find out what she expects from you as a friend and try to be there for her in that capacity. Do not stop acting like a friend or change your perspective of her. Sometimes when things happen, friends who do not know what to do or say stop coming around and being friends because they feel awkward. b. Offer to help her keep in contact with her current friends.
18. Be willing to help be a spokesperson for her, filling her in on what is happening and going into detail with her so she can envision what is going on. Also you can let her use another sense to figure out things too and do the same for yourself.
19. Remember that as she goes through this life-changing event, that things will be different. She may get mad and frustrated and it will be hard on others. Be as understanding as possible. Maybe take coping or support group classes with her so you can learn what to expect. She may even go through a period of depression or grieving and feeling sorry for herself, locking things inside, or acting out or different in other ways. She may be going through severe inner panic and turmoil. If there are no support groups (you might have to drive a distance to go to one) for this, you can talk to others who have already gone through the same exact thing, gradual complete blindness from being legally blind. Also try to find people who had this suddenly thrust upon them and people who have always had blindness.
20. Be well acquainted with others and/or help her to find friends as a network system of support. Start a support group if there is not one in a nearby community.
21. Help her feel useful. If she feels useless, worthless, and no good, help her with finding a job or task she can do that brings you, others, and herself pleasure. Help her to see the things she can do. Maybe ask her if she wants to volunteer with you just a few hours a week or help you get into shape (you can take walks around the neighborhood or at a park together). Once she learns how to get around really well, she can learn how to teach and be there for others.
22. Do as many of the things now with her that you can that you and she foresee as being fun activities that she definitely won't be able to do at all so that she will have all these memories in the dark hours of the night or when she is alone. Continue to do fun things even when her eyesight is completely gone (similar to #13).
23. Give her time and space as she needs it and do not be offended about this. Let her know that you will understand if she ever needs any space or some private time to herself for reflection. Since her life is changing, she may want to have some quiet time.
24. Watch Ray and watch or read about Hellen Keller.
25. Sometimes just sitting there next to her and listening and just being there or holding her hand and hugging her. Letting her know what a strong person you think she is but that she is still strong even when she cries. Let her know how much you admire her and how you don't know how you could go through or make it through being blind.
26. Get her mind off things if at all possible. Ask her or others how... Becoming blind has got to be one of the most terrifying things.....Like being locked in a refrigerator or closet or lost in a dark cave and you can't get out.... Picture yourself in a dark room where you can't see and you have no idea how you got there or what's going on and this is a permanent state.... Try to put yourself in her shoes as much as possible and think of what would you want or need if this happened to you.
27. Be there for her family. a. Let each family member who is old enough to dial your numbers have you on speed dial.
b. Let each family member know what you can do for them or ask them what else can you do, and let them know that it is helping you to help her. c. Offer to take care of her children for her and/or her husband when they need alone time or when she is going to the doctor and has no one else to watch them d. When her kids need to go to the doctor, offer to take them with her. e. Go with her and take her to doctor meetings if her husband can't.
28. Maybe get into music with her, listening to classical music, jazz, talk tapes, radio stations, getting her a noise maker that has bird and stream sounds on it and just relaxing with her.
29. Take her kid out (and maybe her husband and friends and other relatives) with her to the park or to a playland or cafe. Help her watch her kids at McDonald's or offer to take her kids places (I don't know how old they are). Just because she is going blind does not mean she has to stop living (It just may feel like that though).
30. Be willing to laugh and cry with her. Be willing to cheer her up as needed but don't force anything on her. Let her go at her own pace or play it by ear. Maybe talk with a counselor of some type or with the person who may be teaching her how to get around about coping strategies.




Edit: Add-on:
You can try contacting your local hospital or elderly care (sometimes there are elderly people who lose their sight) or social services or rehabilitation people or disability people in/nearest to your town to see if there are any group meetings.
Other options are to contact these people and find out how you can start up your own support group-who knows your friend might be able to help others someday:
Programs for Children and Youth who are Blind or Visually Impaired
Oklahoma School for the Blind
3300 Gibson
Muskogee, OK 74403
Phone: [phone]

Programs for Children and Youth who are Deaf-Blind
Oklahoma Deaf-Blind Technical Assistance Project
University of Oklahoma
820 Van Vleet Oval
Norman, OK 73072
Phone: [phone]
Web: http://www.ou.edu/okdbp

Special Format Library
Oklahoma Library for the Blind and Physically Handicapped
300 NE 18th Street
Oklahoma City, OK 73105
Phone: [phone] (Toll Free)
TTY: [phone]
E-mail: [e-mail]
Web: http://www.library.state.ok.us

Answer 2

Help her understand the situation. As much as possible, don't show that you pity her. Instead, show her that you care and will be with her every step of the way.. Person going to be in this situation could undergo emotional problem. So instead of thinking all the negative situation, make her accept what will happen to her. It'll not be easy(in fact, there will be a lot of adjustments) but I think this would be the best for her. I know you are a good friend so do whats best for her. Help her physically, emotionally and spiritually. good luck:)

Answer 3

contact the association for the blind in your area. Tell them you want to support a friend who is going blind and what courses can you take to support her. You can help her if you get the right info. I have a spouse that has a blind friend, as long as you support and give them directions verbally about how to do things you are encouraging them to do things for themselves and its such an accomplishement for both of you. Take care Heather

Answer 4

take some memorable pictures while it last so that you guys can have great memories together.

And...

if you really love her enough you can give her one or (if you really really really love her then) both of your eye.

Answer 5

never leave her and make her feel your always there for her. even if she doesn't see you if she knew that your there always for her i think it's enough.