How to make friends?

Question

I find it really difficult to make friends in high school, I am pretty shy and its hard to talk to people. Also most people already have groups and cliques that they hang out with already so it would be kinda weird to just join and be like 'hey guys whats up?' cause they would be like, who is she and whats she doing here? So i dont have alot of friends and want more. I am also generally an awkward person and dont know what to talk about to people i dont know... not the most socially intelligent person. What should i do?

Answer 1

find someone else like you, and then find out who their friends are, and then go down the chain until you pick up three or four fun people. I made all of my friends by being the weird atheist kid who knew way too much about nothing and I found the most amazing people. If you are trying to get in with the "in" crowds, then do yourself a favor, and get some heroin and some semen, and inject it straight into your uterus to save yourself the time. They are really just not worth the time to people like us, and we really work best when surrounded by a group of like-minded persons.

Answer 2

Try joining a group or after school activity, band , sport, etc. There you will find people of the same or similar interests. Don't worry about all those " cliques " those kids are usually snobs anyway, and would just make you one too ! If it's not too late in the school year try out for something in the next school play ! Good Luck !

Answer 3

Get involved in clubs,sports,church events.
It will be awkward at first but there are many other people shy just like you..even if they dont show it!
I got to know people during class projects...you could always ask for help after even if you dont need it, it will strike up some friendships.
Go on www.MYSPACE.COM they have a school/classmate finder and find some school mates that you go to school with and get to talking/typing. Ask to join up for lunch later down the line and maybe things will fall into place.

Answer 4

haha. that totally describes me too!
well, what i think is that you shouldn't care too much about what people think of you. don't think that it's too awkward, or else it would really become awkward. just start talking to someone you know quite well or have been with in class (maybe about how the days been dragging on or how you find someone cute) and start a conversation from there. (just make a simple comment in the beginning, and let it naturally flow out. if you cant think of anything to say, dont force out comments that just seem like you're trying to hard. and never begin with, "how are you" to a kid your age- after that you'll be stuck on what to say next after she says she's fine. in a school situation, if you were reading a packet in english, after the read, you can say out loudly in a casual manner, "oh that was actually pretty good... " try not to expect a response from someone. if that person really wanted to talk, they would respond back.

Answer 5

well if you have friends that you would be willing to go on a week long trip to France with i think you are doing pretty good but if you really feel you need to be a social butterfly then join a club of something you are interested in or just put your self out there if people know you are nice and willing to be a friend then you should be fine (or i my self am a ***** and i have a ton of friends but i really don't think that's the way to go that's just how i am naturally) ~written by 17 year old daughter~

Answer 6

I am an adult and I'm still trying to figure out how to make more friends........( I probably asked the same question here on this site, because I to am socially awkward,)
Just remember that Quality is alto more important the Quantity.

I have 3 friends. But I know with all my heart that they will always be there when I need them.

Answer 7

You just made the most amazing point in your question - I read that research on making friends shows that the kids who jump in and say - hey guys what's up - are more succesful socially than kids who hang back and wait to be approached.

So, you walk up, say, hey guys, what's up. Talk about an assignment, as people about themselves. People loooooove to talk about themselves. Ask smart people for help, ask artistic people to show your their work, ask athletic people how long they've been doing sports.

You will not have success every time. Some people are so ashamed of themselves that they only feel good by attacking others. They will act derisive towards you in response to your kind overtures. The trick is to experience that moment not as a rejection of You, but as good information about them - information that tells YOU that You are NOT INTERESTED IN THEM. Then, move on, chat with others.

You will notice who responds to you in a way you like - you'll see who you want to spend more time getting to know.

Since I was a little kid, I've wanted to talk philosophy and politics. As you can imagine, this narrows the number of people who want to talk with you - especially if they see you know more than they do and so are not really able to form cogent opinions. Then, I realized people want to talk about themselves. It really improved my ability to hold up my end of conversations.

Plan ahead - in your room at night. Think of a few kids, and think of all the kinds of questions you can ask to get people talking. "How long have you been doing this?" "How did you get interested in..." "Where have you lived all your life? What place did you like best? Why? What do you think of teacher X? What are good parks to go to in this town? What hobbies do you have?

Try to avoid questions that can be answered yes/no. Brainstorm for your town/your school/what you think people are interested in.

You should know that many people are as shy as you are, and that no one goes home and gives mistakes you think you've made a second thought. It can be very liberating to realize that. You know it's true, because how much time do you spend thinking of what's wrong with specific other people?

Also - try volunteering somewhere that interests you - you will meet people who share your interests and who are open and less self-involved and you'll get a lot of satisfaction from helping people.

My nieces volunteered as teens at a therapeutic theatre program for kids/young adults with down syndrome. They thought it was awesome and looked forward to going. If you don't have such a thing and such a thing interests you, get it started in your community.

Don't dream it, be it.

Answer 8

I was the same way (and still am).

I just made friends with someone who has alot of friends, but didn't really fit into a 'clique.'

Partly I was trying to get to her brother, partly I was trying to get more popular, and another part of me just really wanted to be her friend.
Oddly enough, when she became friends with me we became automatic best friends, she blew off everyone else and everyone started to hate me for "stealing" her. **rolls eyes**

Anyways, I think I ramble too much. Just try to find the people you feel the most comfortable with and become friends with them. They will help you come out of your shell and you will make more friends =)

Answer 9

I had the same problem in school. I always felt out of place. The best thing is to be yourself and try a simple hello while passing someone. If they are nice they would say hello back. You never know unless you try.

Answer 10

talking to people its really easy most of the time people will just start taking to you and just follow them like keep talking about what they like and trust me they keep you