Iv'e been with him 8 years and he treats me like a doormat. I feel like im here to feed, clean, pay bills and have sex (which is only once every 2 months) i need something, im a passionate person and can't live this life anymore. We have a 6 yr old daughter and commitments..i dont know what to do.
2007-03-20 16:17:49 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You need to spice things up a bit.Think of something you,d like to do together and do it.Maybe nights out or maybe badminton,swimming,trips to the cinema.
Your partner needs to realise you,re not happy and after 8 years you should be able to talk.
Tell him that being a doormat is getting you down and that hes going to have to sort himself out because there are other men out there who know how to treat a girl!
If there is no change and you,ve really worked at it then a trial seperation is on the cards.
I believe in 2 people trying to make a relationship work especially where children or marriage is concerned BUT I cant believe some people on here would say this is what you chose so tough live with it.YOU ARE HERE ON THIS EARTH ONCE!even God would surely forgive you for wanting happiness.As long as you are always there for your child then Go GET HAPPY!!
2007-03-20 23:46:46 · answer #1 · answered by Lorraine D 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I take it he is not actually treating you poorly. No abuse... mental or physical. Really what you just described sounds like a rut.
Rekindle your marriage. Go on a date. Seriously! Sounds silly, but it works. Get a babysitter and go out. Doesn't have to cost money, make a picnic. Spend alone time together, and talk about things that are not everyday stuff. Work, home, children...OFF LIMITS.
I going to suggest a book that helped my marriage. I suggest it all the time. But it has some very good ideas in it. And at this point in your marriage...what is it going to do? Hurt it? No, it can only help or at the very least not make things worse. So just give it a read and see what you think. (can be found at your local library)
2007-03-20 16:34:50 · answer #2 · answered by Poppet 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's time to pack your things and go hunny. There is nothing left for you there. He's not treating you right and neither is he going to. Take your daughter and find a new life somewhere. It's hard to tear yourself away, but if you don't do it now, when will you?
Don't leave it too late, you owe yourself better than this. I am in the same situation. I have found someone else, but they can't commit to a new relationship. That's the ONLY reason I am still where I am. Otherwise I would have been long gone.
Do what your heart is telling you. Everything else will fall into place eventually.
2007-03-21 00:10:07 · answer #3 · answered by Robin 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You can only be treated like a door mat if you allow yourself to be.
Does he work, do you work? Do you have time to yourself?
Have you tried to spice things up?
You say you love him so think and work towards, staying, livening things up a bit and getting a bit of an interest for your self on the side.
What are you passionate about beside your family?
The poor? the abused? the orphaned? use some of you passion on them. Passion doesn't have to be sexual.
2007-03-20 16:28:11 · answer #4 · answered by older mum 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well first off
well done on ur time with ur man
bit un normal for relationships to work these times we live in
iv been with my gorgeous fella comin up 3 yrs
my man has a illness, not very well known but i plan to change that.
change, didnt mean that word
yes i did, but i was thinkin out loud.... id like to make folk more aware of cf, autism, anything....
ah its early
my advice to u, if u wish to take iit????
make urself feel better, ask ur bloke if he'd mind doing the ironing, stack dish washer....
i have been accused of much, asking 4help is a bit alien to me
right now i have has to....i know ever1 needs "a lil help" from friends some times
its just 2hard, life i mean....
speak in a calm pretty voice, if he's worth his salt, he'll help u, give u brief massage...etc....
mind, if ur feeling this way
he may 2 maybe he is a typical, stereo type man, he may find it hard to communicate, as us fe males do to diff. degrees......
do u2 work?
apart from ur home duties
life is getting more expensive my o my
i sound 95 hey
do u get my point tho??????
2007-03-20 21:08:45 · answer #5 · answered by Kerrysssss 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is something called self love. Go to the store and by some adult toys. When each of those 2 days come around and you husband is expecting to get some love, break out some of those toys. One he is left out of the fun for a couple of months he will get the idea, and start giving you the attention you need.
2007-03-20 20:59:21 · answer #6 · answered by Bud#21 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Find some common interests, discuss marriage books, take an interest (sincerely) in things he likes to do, have a date night every two weeks, insist on having couch time nightly for talking, cook him at favorite dish unexpectively, greet him with a smile when he gets home from work. Compliment him. Say he is great in bed. If that doesn't work go see a counseller together. It worked for me.
2007-03-20 16:30:43 · answer #7 · answered by bigdaddy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to him about your feelings and ask him to go to marriage counceling with you. Try to find a Christian marriage counselor. It sounds like the two of you allowed your relationship to dry up. Dont be quick to throw in the towel. Think about your son and think about your promise for 'better 'or worse'. Believe me, going on 33 yrs of marriage, you are not going thru the worse. Relationships go thru stages or seasons. I recommend that you both buy and read John Gray's book, 'MEN ARE FROM MARS, WOMEN ARE FROM VENUS. This book was a blessing to my marraige over ten years ago.
Is the glass half full of water or half empty of water?
2007-03-20 16:33:36 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
people that are bored are usually boring......find some new activities that the two of you will enjoy; you teach people how to treat you, so, don't act like the doormat and you won't be treated like one. Get a sitter and go out on the town with him, dinner and dancing....re-light that spark!
2007-03-20 16:23:34 · answer #9 · answered by abc 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
please no offense. see a therapist - alone.
not a friend, not a sister but a professional therapist.
this move eliminates the possibility that you contribute partly or wholly to your husbands problem.
they have ways of bringing things out of you you never thought were there.
this is not meant to be an insult: note that if you are a part of the problem, you may also be a part of the solution.
sometimes, we need to make the little right changes for things to change rightly, in a big way.
they wont change you. they will help you be yourself with skill.
2007-03-20 17:24:56 · answer #10 · answered by rumuodani 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋