Your opinion is requested...?
Please let me know what you think of this poem.
Does it Matter
Awake or asleep
it doesn't really matter
the thought Keep.
There are day
I wish I were alive
There are days
I do so strive.
Alive or dead
is it really going to matter
the things I've said?
I can't redo
think things I' ve done wrong
No-one will remember
Once my life is non.
Levonna M Biddle
Copyright ©2007 Levonna M Biddle
2007-03-20 16:17:11 · 23 answers · asked by ? 4 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Polls & Surveys
nice-but you have already touch one with just this poem alone-so you wont go unrememberd.
2007-03-20 16:20:54 · answer #1 · answered by resigned 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wellllll..you did ask for opinions....so heres mine.....
The spelling needs some work........corrections are in parenthesis ;)
Does it Matter
Awake or asleep
it doesn't really matter
the thought (s) Keep.
There are day (s)
I wish I were alive
There are days
I do so strive.
Alive or dead
is it really going to matter
the things I've said?
I can't redo
think (the????) things I' ve done wrong
No-one will remember
Once my life is non.
Levonna M Biddle
Copyright ©2007 Levonna M Biddle
2007-03-20 16:21:41 · answer #2 · answered by L ♥ L ♥ 7 · 0⤊ 3⤋
It's ok but maybe you should change it up a bit.
not too much though cuz you were kinda going in the right direction.keep trying, just a few touches will make it better..
Also work on your grammar.(not trying to be rude just some constructive criticism) try these little changes.............
the tought ( I ) keep
There are day(s) I wish i were alive
Change to (the things i've said and done)
I can't redo (add ..them)(I can't redo them)
(change think to the) the things i've done wrong
Non(change to none)
This will help your poem portray itself better...Good luck!
I actually like your originality, keep up the good work.
2007-03-20 16:21:09 · answer #3 · answered by Digz 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
large theory if we could make it artwork. of direction there are various of undesirable calls that there does not be something yet booing. till politicians start up doing what's ultimate for the country instead of what's ultimate for their social gathering or themselves we can proceed to have a large style of undesirable CALLS. of direction your theory might disclose Obama's smoke and mirrors attitude the place he feels like he cares and has some solid recommendations yet in certainty that is in basic terms an phantasm.
2016-10-19 05:29:54 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good Poem
2007-03-20 16:30:24 · answer #5 · answered by tfoley5000 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It relays a message of empty meaning, hopelessness and an unwillingness to live along with a careless or reckless tendency which makes me feel you probably may be less inhibited in some manners
2007-03-20 16:21:13 · answer #6 · answered by Jack K 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It's a very sad poem, but I really like it - good job, Levonna.
2007-03-20 16:21:21 · answer #7 · answered by Renee 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
very sad but for people that like that stuff i think it's good. I am just the kind of person who perfers the happy poems.
2007-03-20 16:20:54 · answer #8 · answered by nina 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Sounds like this person needs a hug.
2007-03-20 16:20:14 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your emotion shows. That's good. Hope you aren't as sad as it sounds.
2007-03-20 16:33:38 · answer #10 · answered by sushishishi 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋