I've been going out with my boyfriend for 9 months now and he's been my bestfriend for 2 years prior. I really really do love him with all my heart. He's been there for me when no one else was. My parents use to be thankful for that but a bit had happened at my work and I told my parents that I was working when I actually wasnt. I was hanging out with my BF. They found out about it and have been punishing me for it by not letting me see him. But I really do love him and I want to continue seeing him and hopfully next spring get married. I'm 18 I have a steady job as does my BF but my parents dont want me to see him anymore and I live with them so being with him creats a lot of problems.
I dont know what to do. I cant decide to if I should tell my parents that I'm not seeing him but continue to sneak around with him or should I tell them that I love him and that I will not cut him out of my life.
Does anyone have a suggestion as to what I can tell them. How would you word it?
2007-03-20 16:00:46 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Whatever you do, don't sneak -- that'll really bite you in the backside later.
You don't say why your parents don't like him.
But your choices are to try to convince your parents to change their minds -- ask if he can have dinner with all of you together, or come over when they are there
or
move out. You've 18 and working, you could find roommates to share rent.
You don't say how long ago the lying to your parents about working was.
Maybe if you accept punishment for a while, they'll be willing to give him another chance.
But don't sneak -- they'll find out at some point and then they'll really let you have it, as well as liking him even less.
If you're finishing high school, do that first, then move out, if things aren't better. It's only a couple of months. If you two really love each other, you can wait that long.
2007-03-20 17:17:43 · answer #1 · answered by tehabwa 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi there! well,you've got quite a trouble there. But you know what? We cannot reverse something that has already been done, and of course, as a parent, they would like the best for you and it's not really new if they wouldn't like someone if that person is not good for you. SO, if I were you, yes, things in the past cannot be undone BUT you can still do something about it. If you really love the guy, show them(your parents) that you have grown up now and you wanted to correct the mistakes in the past. Let them know that because of this guy, everything has changed and it should be a change for the better and if your parents sees that then i assure you that all the negative thoughts that they have for your guy will all change. Parents are parents and no matter what, If they see that you are happy with this person then they should accept that wholeheartedly :) Good luck and prove your point to them:)
2007-03-20 16:22:58 · answer #2 · answered by khatzzz 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell your parents your an adult capable of making her own decisions and that, while you care that they're worried about you, it is your decision who you have a relationship with.
That being said, I think 18 is awfully young to get married. People change as times pass and a marriage that young might not be how you expected it to be.
Your parents are just worried - their little girl is in a serious relationship that they don't approve of, and the lying and sneaking around probably doesn't help. If you can prove to them that you can be trustworthy and responsible, they will have no choice but to respect and accept that.
I'm sorry but I think that whole living under your parents house so you have to follow their rules thing is overplayed. Your kids should be courteous to you and tell you where they are, but there should be mutual trust so neither side has to lie to the other. Just because your living with them, doesn't mean your becoming an adult and need to make your own decisions.
2007-03-20 16:18:18 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Listen to the voice of wisdom. I say you are to young for marriage and you will some day know this. Sow your wild oats. You sound so much like me when I was your age. Life is to short , (you don't know that yet). You will. Your parents have your best interest at heart and you should listen to them. Don't have to stop making your own mind up or being who you are but don't bite your nose off to spite your face. Do not lie under any circumstance. Lieing is the worst thing you could do . Build your character don't break it down.
2007-03-20 17:12:11 · answer #4 · answered by margo322 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would just be honest with your parents. That's what got you in trouble with them the last time. Tell them you love him and that's not going to change. He makes you happy and find out why they don't want you seeing him. See if you can clarify the problem and try to be mature about the situation. Nothing gets solved by yelling and screaming. As for marraige..wait for a couple of years...enjoy yourselfs...you have all the time in the world before taking that step.
2007-03-20 16:07:55 · answer #5 · answered by Tina D 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i can relate my parents tried the same thing with me so you know what i did after many fights with my parents over it i packed my things and left that was July last year i now live with my bf and his family which is so much better then what i would have to put up with if i was at home.
we are getting married and having a great time so get your things and go there is one thing i have learnt from moving out it's that your parents don't always know whats best for you and they will be mad and want to bring you home but they have no say in it coz your 18 so go and be happy even if they cause a fuss they will get over it it takes time but it will happen. My parents now love my bf coz they finally realised that i wasn't going to give in and surender.
2007-03-20 16:10:17 · answer #6 · answered by kaceek21 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1st of all you shouldn't lie to your parents. Be honest with them and tell them how u feel. Because you may end up doing something u may regret later in life. if he really loves u he will respect u and your parents decisions because remember u broke the rules and you have to prove to them that u can b trusted once again . goodluck
2007-03-20 17:16:57 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well for starters, i understand that you 'love' him etc but your 18. Be VERY careful.
Maybe it would be wise to live with him for a while first to see what it would be like.
On the other hand your parents cant control you at that age no matter how hard they try.
And you should have to lie to them about going out with your boyfriend for the day. no big woop.
2007-03-20 16:29:44 · answer #8 · answered by samchic86 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Look.....I no that this is tough because you hav 2 people in your life that u don't want to hurt. ur boyfriend and ur parents. But ur parents have to understand that now u hav to make ur own dissisions. Not theirs, and explain how much he makes u feel so specil w/ his luv!
-thereisita
2007-03-20 16:48:42 · answer #9 · answered by THERESITA G 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
when you live under your parents roof you abide by their rules.
if you don't like it. leave.
pay your own bills and do as you wish. that is what being a grown up is all about.
2007-03-20 16:09:06 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋