its called "walk away"
I don't want to hear it,
so just stop!
Close your mouth,
and just walk away,
even if it's just for the day,
at least I'll have some serenity,
without having to be pestered by you.
Can't you see,
I don't sympathize,
the words that come out of your mouth,
they seems like gibberish.
Trying to comprehend what you enunciate,
feels like,
I'm trying to understand bird talk.
I've tried so hard,
to understand you,
but it's just not functioning.
Maybe some other day,
I'll finally get you,
but for now,
please just let it be,
and walk away.
CAN U RATE IT FROM 1 to 10... THANKS!
2007-03-20 15:47:03 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Arts & Humanities ➔ Books & Authors
poems don't have to rhyme!
2007-03-20 16:16:20 · update #1
Oh so THAT's what emo is!! I give it about a 4. It doesnt have the flow or sound of a poem. It sounds more like a prosaic rant chopped up into lines to imitate a poem. Prosaic rant - I think I just coined a new phrase. Pax - C.
2007-03-20 16:21:36 · answer #1 · answered by Persiphone_Hellecat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's a nice Lunch Poem. I like haiku's more.
I can't rate it because most poems have rhyming words at the line ends every so often. I'll bet an expert would say it's a run on.
2007-03-20 22:59:02 · answer #2 · answered by Stan 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't feel I have the liberty to talk about poetry, since I suck. So I'm not going to rate or anything. But this reminds me of something I'd listen to on the radio. If you were a muscian, it could be a very catchy song...
2007-03-20 22:58:05 · answer #3 · answered by amor fati 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Delightfully emo. Um I'm no poet in fact I doubt I am the least bit qualifed to rate this but I will give you a 7.
2007-03-20 22:51:35 · answer #4 · answered by Joe M 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i can give u 9 marks.
for me ur poem is really nice.
i loved the theme very much and the way u expressed it.
it's quite new, if u ask me.
i like the last 4 lines very much.
1 mark is taken out by me for ur too much use of commas.
all the best...
2007-03-23 09:02:42 · answer #5 · answered by pprr 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
4
It's very wordy. Too many prepositions and conjunctions. They drown out images. Too many commas prevent you from building any momentum, which is want you want if you're trying to convey anger. Be wary of picking random words from a thesaurus. Also, what exactly is "bird talk"?
2007-03-22 00:22:46 · answer #6 · answered by Lilly One 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well im not really into poems but ill give u a 8
2007-03-20 23:29:10 · answer #7 · answered by theperson 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Can't give you much on rhyming or rhythm, but I guess you should get E for effort.
2007-03-20 23:07:47 · answer #8 · answered by yahoohoo 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋