Ive been with my boyfriend for 3 years and everytime the marriage thing comes up he says" one day". And thats all I can get out of him. Am I just wasting my time here?
2007-03-20 15:35:28 · 22 answers · asked by Cherry 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He is 29 and I am 22 and we have a 2 year old together
2007-03-20 18:53:01 · update #1
Hard to say without more details. Age and maturity have a lot to do with it. Maybe you're both still discovering yourselves. Don't push into something that you're both not ready for.
2007-03-20 16:04:41 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Speaking as a twice-divorced man who has lived with the same woman since Nov 2001...how's that for a set-up?
My love life since age 21:
Marriage #1 12 years
Girlfriend 1.5 years (did not live together)
Marriage #2 7 years
Girlfriend 5.4 years
I was reluctant to marry my second wife. I loved her very much. My first wife got a judge to deny my child visitation because I was "living in sin" and my children should not be exposed to that (this is 13 years ago). So I married her.
The woman I am with now wants to marry me. I am reluctant again. For my own reasons. Still, I am faithful and she is a very good person.
I suppose if there were no women in the world who would allow physical relations without marriage, I'd be married again. Maybe that is your answer. So long as the nookie is available without the committment, then many of us men are not interested in marriage.
Do you have your answer?
I think you are probably wasting your time.
2007-03-20 22:46:42 · answer #2 · answered by supercreditguru 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Probably. Sounds like he is not likely to commit to you, so he may not actually love you. Maybe he is just comfortable in the relationship and this way he doesn't have to try any harder. Marriage does change things and it changes people. You have to decide if he is really the one who tugs your heart strings, or are you just comfortable too. Maybe you should try something different. Start doing more things without him and see what happens. At some point you may need to test his commitment.
If you can get him to talk about it, maybe he has a need to set certain things in order first and will come around once done. I think the testing will tell you your answer though.
2007-03-20 23:07:38 · answer #3 · answered by TopCatt 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have been together for 3 years and all he says is one day. What day is he waiting for. Allow me to give you some advise. If you continue to wait for his one day you may be waiting your whole life. He is not ready for a full time commitment. If your willing to wait then it is your call. But to me it sounds like your best bet may be to move on with your life and cut him lose. Be honest with yourself if you have a desire to be married and he doesn't then forcing the issue with him will only make the relationship a volatile one. You may be happy for a little while, but odds are you will end up divorced and quite possibly have children before you realize you made a mistake. Why not make a clean break now and someone who wants the same thing as you will come along eventually.
2007-03-20 22:46:25 · answer #4 · answered by groundpilot43061 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO, take his "one day" positively make it a time to know him more and make certain that the marriage you are wanting is for keeps. Maybe he is not ready for the responsibility of being married. Maybe he just want to be sure it is for keeps. If this "one day" could mean it is just a sweet coating for not really interested in marrying you then have the guts to call it quits, as the saying goes if you love someone, set him free if it come backs to you, then you are meant to be....
2007-03-20 23:51:36 · answer #5 · answered by BigBro Paul 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, you are. Read "He's Just Not That Into You" and "The Rules." Both books will give it to you straight.
If you were the woman he wanted to marry, he would have proposed long ago.
Give him one chance before you go - tell him you are serious about marriage and you want to know if he sees it happening in the next 6 months. If not, you have to end the relationship. You'll just be wasting more time.
2007-03-20 22:41:59 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
If after three years your boyfriend is still evasive about the question of marriage, then you most probably are wasting your time, the guy does not seem to have any intention of marrying you...sorry.
2007-03-20 22:44:32 · answer #7 · answered by markos m 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
After 3 years, yes.
2007-03-20 22:55:05 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
MAYBE...MAYBE NOT. Perhaps he is just not ready for something that serious btwn you two. So he doesnt even want to talk about it right now, he doesnt want to get your hopes all up for nothing. Just let it ride, calm down and stop the pressure. Its a turn off. (im irriated that ur asking) when a man is ready, he will ask you. He will be the one to bring it up. If he doesnt bring it up, then leave it alone. If your ready for more, then move on and find someone that wants to move at your pace.
2007-03-20 22:42:14 · answer #9 · answered by BE HAPPY! 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My mother told me years ago never to spend more than 2 years on a man. 2 years is plenty of time to determine if that person is the ONE or not.
Move on.
2007-03-20 22:51:50 · answer #10 · answered by Poppet 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋