help me! sonnets? i think it sux.?

Question

so, this is my sonnet.

Why do you judge me in future to come?
Why do you until the point of madness?
Do you think I could ever be that dumb?
Do you think I'm filled with great happiness?
Maybe someday you'll forget about me?
Or will you keep at your pace of judging?
Are you ever going to stop and see?
Do you realize you are just annoying?
Are you going to leave it all for us?
Or will you go to other strange ones too?
Will you make everyone have a fuss?
I really don't care who you even are.
You judge me because I don't look for fame.
I judge you because you are all the same.

is it good?
have any recommendations?
see anything that needs fixing?
or words i could replace some w/ 2 make it sound better?

Answer 1

Where do I start? 14 lines don't make it a "sonnet." Most of your lines don't rhyme at all and you have made no attempt at all to use consistent rythym. Maybe it would help if you thought about writing it like a song or a rap -- you HAVE to maintain a consistent natural "beat" (or, as it's called in a poem, "meter"). Read your lines out loud and change the words and phrases til the beat is there:

da DA da DA da DA da DA

Each line has to have the exact same number of syllables and the same rise and fall in natural tone. Yes, I know it's difficult but that's the challenge of poetry -- finding and arranging language that flows.

You need to review the rules for what makes a sonnet and start over again. My suggestion would be to pick a topic other than a complaint about a friend or lover -- that subject has been worked to death and no-one is interested in it.