My ex husband was a great provider and husband until I found out I was pregnant. ( We were trying , and I stress the WE.) After I found out I was pregnant he left me. Within weeks he was acting like a 16 year old.... now almost 3 years later he still is. All he thinks about are Honda's... the parts and body kits that go along with them. He see's his daughter about three hours every Sunday (If she is lucky) and then off he goes to work on cars or go hang with his buddies. He has gotten about 20 tickets for speeding and such in the last year. Now he has a warrant (Felony) out on him for having switching the old body on his car with one that has no VIN numbers. All the while.... now he is calling me whineing about having the charge on him. He left his job... so, now I am recieving no child support on top of this. I know that I cannot make him grow up.... but what can I do to help him see what a great gift being a father is? I feel so bad for my little girl.
2007-03-20 15:08:36 · 22 answers · asked by SchGrl79 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
For those that said I should have picked better... I SAID HE WAS GREAT UNTIL I GOT PREGNANT. No honda's... he worked and was very responsible. We were together for 3 years before I found out I was having a baby. It was after I found out that he changed.
Thanks to everyone else that answered without being rude...lol.
2007-03-20 15:24:29 · update #1
About 8 yrs after you!!!!!!!!!!!
2007-03-20 15:12:21 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
My husband is very responsible and mature and he is 38 years old... He is a great provider and wonderful husband and father. your husband may need counseling and help for how he is feeling and acting... I also suggest marriage counseling for you. Some men never grow up and mature sad to say but my husband is mature and very loving and wonderful. I would not trade him for anyone! I know how good i have it lol. Some women never grow up and mature either for that matter. It all depends on the individual person and personality if you ask me.Move on with your life and find someone who is responsible and mature to marry someday down the road. Not all men are like he is.
2007-03-20 22:15:22 · answer #2 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
some men do, some don't, much the same as we women. and we all have areas where we are mature and areas where we act like children.
as for growing up - we can't do it for them. they have to figure it out for themselves. and sadly it is often the case that they don't grow up 'til they are forced to ............ apparently his force is going to come from the law.
i can't help but think perhaps he was always like this and you didn't see it. once you became pregnant and had to become more focused on being an adult his behavior became more obvious to you.....but hindsight is perfect and none of us here should be pointing fingers. we all have our faults and issues.
what you can do is refuse to enable his childish behavior and antics. if he calls and is whining, ask him to call back when he is better able to discuss whatever the problem/situation calmly.
encourage him to visit his daughter but don't allow him to take her in a vehicle if he has a warrant out for his arrest. all you need is for a cop to spy him while he has your daughter with him, putting her in a potentially dangerous situation and quickly bringing child protection services into your life.
as for your daughter, encourage her to believe her daddy loves her, and cares for her. hopefully in the meantime he will mature and realize what he is missing.
i am so sorry for your predicament and wish you the very best.
2007-03-20 22:17:28 · answer #3 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Look into his background and the way he was raised. HE has probably been irresponsible all his life. IF he was any kind of man he would at least pay support for his child. Being a man it thoroughly disgust me to see men who don't want to pay support for their child(ren). Then my ex has been nothing but a vindictive BXXch since I left and I can wait for my kids to be old enough so I don't have to pay support but I pay the support religiously. I also keep up my visitation because I love my kids.
So if any guys read this do what is right for your kid no matter how much you hate it it is for them.
2007-03-20 22:16:29 · answer #4 · answered by quincyurt 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
HAHAHA! sounds just like MY ex! all the way down to the honda parts! i was pregnant too, he cheated on me and left me and hasn't even seen the baby who is now 4 months old, i'm not getting support either, but i would rather have it that way because he is a piece of ****. really. i am serious. and don't feel bad for your daughter, she is better off seeing him as little as she does. at least until he grows up. which honestly i think is never. at least with my ex. i am so much better off without him, now that i have seen his true colors, and you are too. trust me.
2007-03-20 22:16:27 · answer #5 · answered by pikachu 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sure it's different for every man but a good friend of mine went to marriage counseling w/her husband to try & work out some of their issues & the counselor (who was a man, btw) said that most men aren't "grown up" until 35. I would believe it. Unfortunately, her & her husband ended up divorcing but maybe it's b/c her ex isn't 35 yet!
2007-03-20 22:26:04 · answer #6 · answered by love my life 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If they live in the same town as mom...........it's 26 yrs old and 2 yrs living on their own. If not in the same town as mom it's 24 and 2 yrs living alone. But we never really grow up, we like to have our fun in some ways. As long as he's providing and not screwing around, give him some room. Good Luck.
2007-03-20 22:26:27 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't make someone grow up...it's impossible...either they do it on their own or their parents teach them how...You are not responsible for his happiness only your own. So take care of yourself and your child and ignore Mr Idiot....if you think your child needs a father, then you should have either KNOWN what Mr Idiot was like before you married him or you need to find someone new...how about Grandpa ??? Uncles ??? Brothers ??? family usually helps out if you ask....
2007-03-20 22:17:59 · answer #8 · answered by Chrys 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not all men are the same...or act this way just like all women are not the same or act the same way. You just picked a bad one that's all.....move on for YOU and your little girl.....and when he does grow up he will realize what a foolish mistake he made by giving up his family....he is a fool.
Best of luck to you and your little girl.
2007-03-20 22:16:42 · answer #9 · answered by oldman 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is not a man. He is a little boy. Plenty of MEN handle their responsibilities. I bet his mommy got him out of trouble all the time.
2007-03-20 22:16:14 · answer #10 · answered by PuckDog 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
show him dat bein a mother is so great, & let him notice all of da tings she is missin out on bein without a father, like fishin, huntin, & all of dat good stuff! show him how good of a father he could b. let her c more of him, suggest dat he takes her fishin or somthin!give him a reason 2 stick around, his lil girl!
2007-03-20 22:22:13 · answer #11 · answered by volleybrat55 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋