Why does my ex-wife have to be so nasty?

Question

I have been an electronic eng. for 20+ years. With almost all the manufacturing jobs going to China the number of jobs for EEs got smaller and smaller. I asked my wife(at the time) to go out and get a job. She had gotten use to living on my high salary and staying at home with the kids. Instead she borrowed money money from her well to do Uncle at a rate to match my old salary.
Parents and spouses are suppose to make sacrifices for the good of the family not to be selfish. I know that I always made plenty. Then came the better than you attitude from a person who wouldn't support her family.
I had enough and left. I found a job that pays half of what I use to make. I have asked her a number of times to curb her spending when it comes to the kids as I have to pay her 1/2 of all extra curricular activity and sports costs. Since she gets her Uncle to pay for everything she doesn't care and spends money faster than I can make it.
So my question to you women is why are you so vindictive

Answer 1

I have to agree with the ladies here. You can't stereotype all the ladies based on your bad experience.

You left. So regardless of her faults, you quit.

Actually, she did support her family, just not in a fashion you wanted.

If she is spending more than you can afford, go back to court and get your parenting plan changed. Set a cap on those expenses, or have it written that you pay 1/2 of those things that you mutually agree upon.

My ex-wife is free to sign our little girl up for anything. But I am free to not pay 1/2 if it was not mutually agreed upon.

Man up! Stop blaming her and everything for your situation and take action to make it better.

Put each kid on an activities budget. Tell them that they have $X/year to spend from you, and once they've exhausted those funds, they have to fund it themselves.

Set boundaries, don't remain a victim forever.

Answer 2

I'm not a woman, but even if I was, I don't think I'd have much of an answer for that.
I too deal with the same sort of dilemna though. My wife wants to stay home so bad that she thinks of any excuse she can to NOT take the kids to daycare and stay home with them. So she stays home with them, and then when I get off of work, she takes off to go shopping or what have you. So not only do I have to go to work and make the money, but I have to baby-sit all night until I go to bed and wake up to do it all over again. Not all woman are like this, but some woman are a life-sucking bottomless pit with hormones who bleed for a week every month and don't die! I feel your pain.

What I would have done a long time ago was have seperate checking accounts. Screw that, make her make her own play money.

Answer 3

First off sugar, not all women are that way so please do not group us all together. I think your ex wife was completely out of line when she refused to get a job when you told her it was best for the family for her to do so. She married you for better and for worse but when it came down to it she only wanted the better. She is proving her selfish ways as now she is living off her uncle but not making any sacrafices in her life. Unfortunately you chose a bad woman for a wife. Not all women are like her. I doubt she will ever change her ways. If the uncle quits supplying her with money she will find someone else or take you back to court for more money (so be ware). You only have to deal with her until your son finishes college and then you can be done with her once and for all.

Good luck!

Answer 4

You are blaming ALL women for what ONE woman did. You married a woman who didn't want to work outside the home and you permitted that. You left her. You had a bad divorce and your ex isn't a nice person. She is vindictive. Do NOT assume all women do that. You would be wrong.

Answer 5

See what one bad woman does for us women! It's not all women and not me! I make almost the same amount as my husband we each put just about the same amount of money in the bank account and what ever is left after that is our own spending money no questions asked. I usually have to spent some of mine on food , but that is fine with me! We have to eat, whether he or Myself pays for it!..............
You are right though she should have just gotten herself a job!

Answer 6

Not all women are with a man for what he brings home in a paycheck. I am sorry she is like that. You can always go back to court to lower the extracurricular activities fee. But hopefully, your children will learn from you about the value of a $ and not expect life to hand them all they ask for w/o some effort put ino it.

Answer 7

Well, we all aren't vindictive.....speaking for myself, I have paid every cent of every extracurricular activity, all the dental insurance, all the medical insurance, every prom dress, both sets of braces, the clarinet, the flute, camps, cars, car insurance; clothes, furniture, toys, bikes, book rental for 12 years, and soon college for two; meanwhile, my ex has given me $300.00 a month in child support (less than the state minimum and I have NEVER in 17 years taken him back to court to have it raised) I have worked hard and sacrificed in order to provide my children with a loving home and the extras. And I wouldn't change one second of any of it! The sacrific has been worth it to raise two wonderful children.

Answer 8

not all women are like that...and BTW...YOU left, so if you couldn't get a lawyer to act on your behalf and get you something you can live with, then it's YOUR fault. Don't be blaming all women for what YOU Have done...(besides the fact you married her in the first place, and should have known the TYPE of person she was...if you didn't, then don't whine now...it's a little late...)

Answer 9

HELLO,
WELL NOT ALL WOMEN ARE LIKE THAT.....MY EX MADE ME THE WAY I AM TODAY......I WAS NICE AS PIE TILL HE THREW UP IN MY FACE THAT HE COULD TAKE OUR DAUGHTER AND I WOULD NEVER SEE HER AGIAN THEN HE HAS THE NERVE TO CALL MY PARENTS TO ASK ABOUT OUR CHILD INSTEAD OF ME THEN HIS MOTHER CALLED ME A TOLD ME I WAS JEALOUS....I LMAO..... THEN I DIDN'T WANT CHILD SUPPORT AND I BROUGHT HER UP FOR A 2 HOUR RIDE EVERY WEEKEND TO SEE HER DAD AND HE WANTED TO POOP ON ME BY LYING TO ME ABOUT ANOTHER GIRL BEING PREGO ....HONEY HE CAN'T SUPPORT THE ONE THATS HERE SO HOW IN THE HELL IS HE GOING TO SUPPORT 2 TWINS MORE????SO NOW I TOOK THE TRUCK THAT WAS IN MY NAME AND THERE ARE NO TIES BETWEEN ME AND HIM.....NOTHING BUT THE CHILD AND I HAVE APPLIED FOR SUPPORT AND THE WHOLE TIME I WAS WITH HIM I SUPPORTED HIM.....SO MEN ALSO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF WOMEN TOO....BUT NOW I FEEL GREAT AND NO I AM NOT A MEAN PERSON BUT REVENGE IS SWEET....NEVER TELL THE MOTHER OF THE CHILD YOUR GOING TO TAKE HER BABY SHE CAN AND WILL MAKE YOUR LIFE A LIVING AND BREATHING HELL....BUT TRUTHFULY I AM NOT AS EVIL AS I SOUND.....ME AND MY OLDEST FATHER ARE LIKE BROTHERS AND SISTERS EVEN HIS WIFE AND I ARE CLOSE......HE DON'T PLAY CHILDISH GAMES WITH ME OR HIS DAUGHTERS MIND AND I LOVE HIM FOR THAT.....I NEVER PUT MY CHILDRENS FATHERS DOWN IN FRONT OF THEM.....AND I WOULD SUPPORT ANY DECISION THAT THEY HAVE JUST AS LONG AS IT SUPPORTS THE CHILDS BEST INTEREST....I AM NOT A MONEY HUNGERY PERSON NOR AM I SELFISH IN ANY WAY.....BUT I WILL NOT TOLLERATE SOME ONE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF ME...AND YOU MY FRIEND NEED TO TAKE HER BACK TO COURT AND FIGHT FOR YOUR CHILDREN.....AND MAKE HER PAY FOR SUPPORT AND MAKE HER FEEL SOME OF WHAT YOU ARE GOING THROUGH.....GOOD LUCK

Answer 10

Personally I think that people act hateful / vindictive if they feel they've been hurt or wronged. Whether or not they're correct about their feelings is debatable.

Why is her uncle supplying such a lavish lifestyle on her? Is she screwing him?