Will he ever forgive me?

Question

I've been with my boyfriend for about a year and half and things have been amazing for most of that time.He's the sweetest,most thoughtful,caring,lovable,affectionate and protective guy I know.He treats me like a queen.He was also physically and emotionally abused as a child by his dad.He's never shown any abusive traits whatsoever and would pretty much die before he'd ever lay a hand on me.

Last Friday we went clubbing and some guy started flirting with me.Out of no where my boyfriend showed up and decked him.I though he was just acting jealous and got incredibly pissed off at him.When we got back to my place he was trying to explain to me that he saw the guy spike my drink,the same guy that was trying to flirt with me but I wouldn't let him.I accused him of being just like his dad and that just about killed him.He's never told anyone about the abuse but me.He told me why he did it,walked out and hasn't spoken to me since.What can I do to fix this?Have I done the unforgiveable?

I wasn't flirting!I had no idea who the guy was and I was about to tell him that I wasn't interested when my boyfriend showed up.I want him back no question about it.

Answer 1

I think you should bake him a batch of chocolate chip cookies. Then go over to his house and apologize. If that man was really spiking your drink, he may have saved your life. With the date rape drugs anything can be done to you! Tell him you are sorry. You need to decide if you are going to continue to date him or if you really want to flirt with other guys. Maybe you are too young to make the decision. If so, still bake the cookies and apologize. It is the right thing to do even if you decide you do want to flirt and date others.

Answer 2

the unforgivable is not determined yet. You need to talk to him and find out what his abused reality is in this situation. He confided in you only and you are his lifeline of trust. Even if the drink was not spiked he was fighting for his stable lifeline. Congratulations! that is you. He cares alot for you, even more, if the drink was not spiked. Let him know that you were about to walk or shew him away. He may not believe you. You need to apologize for the correlation between him and his father. It was probably more a statement of ignorance and firing back in a heated discussion than actually having any merit. To use a deep hurting secret against him (to him) is very harsh especially after defending you. He cares too much for you to not forgive you. Go to him and talk it out. He may also have scared you and somewhere in your mind you could think that he could react like that towards you someday. Our mind and tongue can deliver faster than we can think through sometimes. Slow to speak and quick to listen. Hope this helps

Answer 3

Relationships are a hard thing and you need to work at them. There will be always misunderstandings.You have not done the unforgiveable.People have forgive far worst thing then this.It would be great if your boyfriend could forgive his dad. I don't know if I could forgive somebody if they physically and emotionally abused me.If I were you I would ask forgiveness.

Answer 4

People say things when they get angry! He should understand that you thought he was jealous and hit that man out of spite, and obviously you understand why he punched that guy (the spiked drink/hitting on you). You just need to work it out, you both sound really understanding.

Answer 5

as you said he claimed to have seen that the stranger had spiked your drink. by getting rid of that guy he helped protect you from a painful experience... possibly tramatic or deadly . i think that your friend will forgive you if you appologize for your reaction and thank him for protecting you.

your reaction sent a message of dissaproval. it is likely that he feels like you didnt want him to protect you or that you would rather be taking the risk and have him watch without doing anything for you.