he doesn't want to spend time with us. The two days off he spends playing golf. I left my job to raise our son, who is nearly 5 and started school this year. It gets very lonely at home and I am starting to resent the time he spends playing golf, on weekends he works and then stays back until 1 or 2 in the morning drinking. He leaves for work at 5 in the morning, but doesn't need to go until 8.30, we haven't been away for 3 years, but he goes on a yearly week long golf trip. Our sex life is non existant, he either stays up late or comes home really late and falls asleep on the lounge. I am starting to wonder whether he is really interested in being a family.
He says he loves me and I know he loves our son, but this is tearing us apart. This is my second marriage, and I have three kids with my ex, and I thought this marriage would be different. I told him I was going to apply for some part time bar work, he said work for me, but when I do I don't get paid...
What should I do?
2007-03-20 14:50:00 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Being in business for myself I understand his need to work long hours. Many Census reports show that most millionaires that didn't inherit it started out with their own businesses, so on the surface his story sounds plausible. But if you dig below the surface he is definitely taking you for granted/for a ride and I wouldn't be surprised if there was soeone on the side. Also there is no shame in multiple divorce if #2 is worse than #1 (same for me - rebound, etc.) You need to start demonstrating your independence. Do NOT work for him - get out of the house and find an alternative job. Also do activities that enrichen/fulfill you, whether it be church/civic groups, college classes or even something like BangMatch.com. I am not a moralist so the choice is yours. But one thing I do know, you need to be happy and you deserve better. Here's to your freedom.
2007-03-20 15:07:14 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your husband has already checked out of your relationship. Next weekend when he comes home, DO NOT be there. Pack up your children and leave. Move in with your mom or other family/friends nearby.
I totally don't understand the last paragraph where you say you want to work at a bar, but will not get paid...that just doesn't make any sense, as I'm sure you are aware, it's illegal to work for anyone if they don't pay you. You can report them to the EEOC.
And by the way, working at a bar wouldn't do much for your MOM image either. You aren't being completely honest with us.
2007-03-20 14:59:52 · answer #2 · answered by domesticgoddess 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It sounds like he's disatisfied with your marriage, and that's why he never wants to be home. You can't control that - but you can get a life outside of your marriage, by returning to the workforce (and NOT working for your husband, but getting that bar job you talked about). Then you won't be so lonely, and you'll have a life of your own. Your new found indepencence might just bring him back home - because now he'll be the one wanting to spend more time with you!
Good luck!
2007-03-20 14:58:35 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would find some friends to do stuff with during the day, or find a part time day job. I would resent the time he played golf to if I didnt do anything with my time. You cant change him, but you can change you!
2007-03-20 14:56:34 · answer #4 · answered by dakota_gal_1968 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
infamous vinnie has it right. my marriage sucks. and because of it i rarely come home. it's easier to keep working than deal with it.
2007-03-20 15:12:30 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋