Married for 17 years and she left me for a coworker some months ago. Me and the kids where devestated because it was a loving home. Well the other night we had a speghetti feed at the firehall and she was there without her new squeeze. Our oldest son sat with me and our youngest daughter sat with her. I was looking good new clothes,been running and lifting weights. She came over and started talking to me about the different speghetti and which one I liked. Then I noticed all night that she was constantly looking at me even when she was laughing with her friend. I went outside to get some air and I noticed her come out and when she saw me she went back in. Is she just being nice or is she realizing the grass might not be greener?
2007-03-20 14:24:23 · 28 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Maybe she regrets leaving you. Nobody except her knows, so why don't you talk to her about it? :) Good luck if you do!
2007-03-20 14:28:16 · answer #1 · answered by Drop of Golden Sun 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
The only thing that's for sure is that you're looking GOOD (!!!!) right now. Obviously. My guess is that you probably look even better than the co-worker she left you for.
But it she just being nice? Who knows.
If I were you, I'd be careful. Find out what's going on here.
Don't jump back into something without resolving some issues. You could for example just drop her an email saying that it was nice that she dropped by, especially with both of your kids being there.
Then take it from there. See what she says.
It all depends if you want to get back into the relationship. For whatever reason, she went off with someone else. This is bad. But maybe there was something unspoken in your marriage that wasn't resolved. You might want to find out what that was.
Trust can be restored. But then both of you have to be honest.
Plus, it seems that maybe (just maybe), if you don't mind me saying this, you only started really taking care of yourself after she left. You might want to ask yourself why that is. And, more importantly, if you two become closer again -- will you continue to take care of yourself?
But at the very least, be friendly for your kids' sake.
2007-03-20 21:40:59 · answer #2 · answered by Nina 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do not call or make it easy for her to approach you. She'll never regain the respect she lost for you when she left you for another guy. If you let her back too easy, she'll never truly learn to appreciate you. Make her work for it. Just ignore her and go on with your life. Start dating other attractive women even, so she realizes that the grass may be even greener at home and she's too blind to see. When and only when she learns this and begs for your forgiveness (don't take her back on the first try. Let her beg you the 2nd time before giving in) should you open your arms to her. Have some patience. It'll be worth it, I promise you.
2007-03-20 21:35:21 · answer #3 · answered by babyboo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honestly, it depends on why she felt she needed to get out.
Was there too much routine in her life etc. It's usually the little things that hurt relationships the most.
The best thing you can do is talk to her, ask her to be honest with you about why she left. If she tells you, and the issues are something you can work on - then do it, but only if you really want her back and can trust her again. It's hard to gain that trust. It'll be a long road.
Good luck.
2007-03-20 21:32:15 · answer #4 · answered by AC 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You and your wife have spent 17 years together, so the intimacy level is much higher than that between her and her coworker. She might have left for some excitement which is absent in your long-term marriage. I guess she is showing you some signs that she wants to come back. Generally in a new relationship, one cannot help comparing the new and the old and finds the old one is more adaptable.
2007-03-20 21:31:06 · answer #5 · answered by big-faced cat 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Never guess. Assumption is the mother of all foul-ups. I would suggest you work on the relationship. Sometimes ladies can be shy when they realised that the grass may not be greener. However, its all up to you guys to work things around without the ladies feeling uncomfortable. Loving home deserves loving conclusion. Go on...
2007-03-20 21:30:05 · answer #6 · answered by SGElite 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
WELL, thats a tough one..because some women DO try to be over nice..when theyve hurt you..she may be trying to make things better between you..as far as being friends...
BUT she also may be seeing if the gate is still open...if u dont want her on ur grass..stay strong and remember what she did to u b4..and will most likely do it again if u let her!
2007-03-20 21:29:48 · answer #7 · answered by lisa baby... 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I honestly wouldn't waste too much time on trying to find out. You need to realize that the grass is greener in your yard too. If a woman will do this once she more than likely is not able to be trusted.
2007-03-20 21:29:35 · answer #8 · answered by awoman8559 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good luck buddy I am not sure, but if I left my husband and things didn't work out with the other guy I would probably go to places I knew he would be if I still had feelings for him and try to find out if he still had feelings for me, so maybe that is what she is doing just wait and see what happens if she calls or if you continue to run into her then I would say she wants you back and you need to decide if it would be worth going through what you just went through again and put the kids through it again.. TOUGH ONE GOOD LUCK!!!
2007-03-20 21:49:18 · answer #9 · answered by worried about our country 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
yeah the grass is not always greener
she was probably ogling at you cause you did look good
and why wasnt the squeeze with her
and why did she choose to go to the same place for a feed
is this place a place where you all went together before
she is checking you out - she may have regretted her choice
but hey its up to you - if you decide to take her back
honestly I wouldnt - do it once they will do it again
2007-03-20 21:29:58 · answer #10 · answered by boonoora 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It wasn't just general chit chat so the both of you weren't so uncomfortable with each other being there. And for the kids sake. And also maybe she was just having a friends night.
2007-03-20 21:41:48 · answer #11 · answered by Brookeo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋