how do i get my friend to understand she's going to ruin her life?

Question

one of my really good friends always gets in trouble almost everyday she's in detention or AEP. She switchs her bf all the time and she's fearless. She's already had sex and is already moving on to a new guy and they plan on having sex and there not even dating. She's only a freshman like me and when she has sex with guys she doesn't make them wear protection which makes everything even worse. She thinks she's big and bad and she's about 4 foot 9 and anyone can beat her up which she doesn't relieze....how do i tell her that she could get pregnant or some girl could beat her up for messing with their boyfriends without getting her mad at me?

Answer 1

Show her these sites to begin with:
http://www.ashastd.org/learn/learn_statistics.cfm
http://www.cdc.gov/std/default.htm

And keep telling her that you only care for her and don't want her to ruin her future. Once you contract a STD, for example HIV which will develop to AIDS, there is no cure!!! And if she ends up pregnant, she will no longer be able to just have fun and do whatever she wants, she will have to be responsible for another's life. She's only what, 14 or 15, she has her whole life to have sex, wait until after high school. BUT ALWAYS USE PROTECTION, until she knows she's ready to make a commitment with that special person. Also, look for your local Health Dept, they usually offer free testings for STDs. Maybe visiting there will scare her straight, hopefully it's not already too late.

Answer 2

Just sit her down and tell her that she is headed down the wrong road at a early age and it's not good for her to follow in other people footstep. Tell her it's either me and you not being friends any more are the streets if she choose to put the streets before your friendship then you no that she wasn't a good friend to be around. My advice stay happy while you can don't do something that you will regret in the long road guiltiness will eat you up and make you feel alone and and then you start having sex and drugs that not good at all.

Answer 3

I wouldn't normally suggest that you be a "rat" but her behavior is really risky and if she gets pregnant, she'll be potentially ruining someone else's life.

Her behavior says to me that she has some chaos going on at home. Have you tried to talk to her directly and tell her that you're worried that she's going to end up with a disease or pregnant or even just regret later in life how she's acting? Most girls who have sex so young have home issues and later in life the ultimately regret having sex so early in life. They end up feeling bad about themselves.

Have you considered telling a school counselor that you're concerned about her without having to go in to to much detail? That way you can ask to be anonymous but someone who might be able to help her can get involved.

Answer 4

You can't. She is dead set on what she is going to do, and thats that. The more you push for her to be more careful, the more she is going to do it. What you can do, is not support her choices. If she wants to brag about all the boys she's slept with, don't add to the converstation. If she wants to get in a fight with someone, don't back her up. By doing those simple things, you are showing that you apporve of her behavior, and she will think that you got her back..and you don't.

You've just got to let her learn her lessons, and only give advice when she asks for it. If that means not being her friend, then my dear, that's unfortunatly what you have to do.

good luck......

Answer 5

Try not hanging out with her..if you are good friends she will realize that something is wrong. And get on the internet and find the most disgusting STD photos you can find and send them to her as a greeting card. If you are really worried about her you shouldn't care if she gets mad or not. The truth is the truth

Answer 6

your a good friend hun but you can only do so much, bring her on here so she can see how silly some teenagers are, getting pregnant too young and having no life for the next 18 years

if she doesn't want to listen theres not much you can do, make new friends but let her know your still there if she needs to talk

good luck

Answer 7

The only way for her to learn is to make mistakes. You telling her that she's going to get an STD or get pregnant or get thrown in jail isn't going to stop her from doing what she's doing. Unfortunately one of the above is probably going to happen to her and she'll wish she listened.. If this isn't the kind of person you want to be associated with, you need to distance yourself from her and her actions.

Answer 8

I think this is too big for you to handle. It's time you told her parents what she is doing, even if it means that she never talks to you again. At least then you will know that you did everything possible to save her from herself and won't have to have a guilty conscience if she does catch some bad sexual disease or gets pregnant.

Answer 9

Well, i would simply tell her, or write a note saying that she needs to slow her role, before she gets pregnant. She's only a Freshman like us.

But yeah, its not a good idea to screw around with a bunch of guys.

Answer 10

Bring it to the attention of her parents! Sure she'll be mad might even stop speaking to you but at least you had good intention trying to help your friend. Or you could try speaking to her yourself letting her know you treasure her friendship but if she keeps acting irresponsible you won't be her friend. Sometimes you have to resort to this but it can be a heavy price to pay if she isn't willing to change.