My husband uses me like a slave?

Question

I have a problem with my husband's libido. I'm a 30yr old married and healthy woman. During the first few years of our marriage, my husband (he's 39 yrs now) and I were an average couple having a pretty normal sex life. We used to live apart from each other due to his work. We've been married for 8 yrs now and have a 5 yr old daughter.Since 2004,after my husband shifted for a job, he started to change. When i joined him there for 2 months, he became a sex maniac.He wouldn't even be sensitive towards our little daughter.He wanted to make love with me all the time.He was always caressing me intimately and kissing me etc..I found his behaviour to be very rude. Anyway, we again separated due to his job.And now we're back together and live in a large house with our separate apt wing. Nannies take care of our daughter.I can't tell u how angry, frustrated and tired I am by his constant demands to have sex.He's using me like a ragdoll.He's not sensitive to my ill health also,pls help me!

Answer 1

First of all stop putting up with his demands just because are his wife does not make you slave. Tell him you are to be respected and until he starts respecting you and your space and time without being begged for sex then he will just have to deal with using his hand. You are his wife his best friend
when you allow him to walk all over you it does nothing to show you have some self-respect and backbone. Tell him you think the two of you need to seek some counselling because of the way he has been treating you in the last few years. One other thing if you are ill or not able to do stuff to please him he should respect that and be supportive an d caring rather then acting like a selfish jerk. It appears he has become more controlling in the last few years is there a reason for this change in behavior it is a question you need to confront him with. Sometimes guys may act like this because they are scared there sex drive and libido will change as they age which is true and he is trying to show you he still has the ability to pleasure you. Rememebr that sex in
marriage is a mutual connection not a one-sided demanding
act. If you not agreeing to this then he might as well be raping you. He has to respect you every day of his life if he demands respect from you then he must show you some as well. I hope this sheds some light on your predicament and helps you think of ways to resolve your situation.

God Bless and Best Wishes in your life and your marriage.

Answer 2

Well, this is weird, isn't it?

You don't say so, but from what you do say, I'm inferring that either a) you used to be as horny as he was and are not now, or b) he has actually become more horny that he used to be, almost to the point of obsession. The fact that it doesn't matter if you don't feel good or not - that he still wants it when he wants it - would lead me to believe that "b" is more likely.

His insatiable desire to have sex all the time is not normal. He may have an endocrinological disorder of some kind that causes him to produce too much testosterone. If that's the case, an overactive libido is not his only problem because too much testosterone can cause heart disease and other serious ailments.

I'd get your husband to the doctor first and have him fully checked out. Express to him your concern for his health as much as for the state of your marriage. His current behavior is not fair to you and it could be jeopardizing his health.

If he checks out OK with the blood tests, etc., then, it must be some kind of psychological problem. If he's this way when you are around, what does he do to be satisfied sexually in your absence? He's he fooling around? Is he addicted to pornography and masterbation?

This guy is in need of some serious intervention, both medical and psychological. As your daughter gets older, I would also be worried about her welfare.

Take charge of this situation and work on resolving it as soon as possible.

Answer 3

I would suggest a therapist who is sensitive to women's issues. Talk to your ob/gyn for a recommendation. This is very serious, you aren't in a marriage of equals. Are you afraid of him? If the answer is yes, then be honest with yourself about it, and contact a battered women's program. You don't have to be walking around with bruises or a black eye to be battered, being used sexually could qualify.

Get some help for your own sake, and your daughter's. How can you be a good mother to her if you aren't in control of your own life?

Answer 4

I am totally confused. You start off saying you are a 30 year old married and healthy woman. Then you end saying your husband is not sensitive to your ill health. Which is it?

I think you are the one with the problem, not your husband. And why do you have nannies raising your kids? Isn't that your job?

Answer 5

Tell him to take it easy. Share with him your thoughts and that he needs to learn to appreciate you in other ways then sex itself. Maybe you need to get help from a marriage counsellor for advice.

Answer 6

you need to tell him what this ongoing sexual activity is doing to you and how you feel

oh and buy him a blow up doll - he can go hammer and tong

besides he may be making up for all the time spent apart

Answer 7

do what your husband wants its your duty long as hes not beating you you don't need nannies their your kids take care of them and your husband quit complaining

Answer 8

Then turn tables on him

Answer 9

and you think while he was away he was true to you with this crazy sex drive? go to counseling with him, that isn't normal.

Answer 10

I have a headache tonight.