My garden gnome is planning something...?

Question

I have a garden gnome that is planning to sneak on my roof and clock up my chimney with pumpkins and textbooks.

Is there any way I can stop it?

I threw it in my neighbors yard but it came back the next day.

Answer 1

You are going about this the wrong way, you want to befriend him. Ask him where he got those bitchng brown boots, ask him where he got his green suit and dashing hat. TEll him he has a winning smile. Sell all your wordly goods and invest in a pot of gold. Give this to your gnome, he will be one happy man. You will have made afriend and prevented a catastrophe.

Answer 2

Maybe it didn't come back voluntarily, if it's a really bad gnome, and it sounds like it is, it was probably evicted from your neighbors yard. The only thing to do now is try behavior modification- leave it out for a day and if it just sits there and does nothing - reward it with a beer or something. If it misbehaves, lock it in a closet for awhile- that will teach it.

Answer 3

Yes you can stop it.You must respond quickly as to this can cause a lot of expensive damage if not handled in an expedient manner!!!
First you look in the garden mirror to see what you saw.... then you take that garden saw and cut that garden gnome in half....Quickly take the two gnome halves and with sap from your best growing shrub, glue the 2 halves back together to make them whole. Then throw that nasty gnome into that whole...Problem resolved!! TA DAAA

Answer 4

Here is how I stoped my lawn gnome from taking over the world.

1. You smash it in a million pieces.

2. When he comes back, then smash it in two million pieces. and bury the pieces across the street under the third maple.

3. If he still comes back then smash it in three million pieces then take it to the country that is east of you and place the pieces in the vase on the highest shelf in the first Gap store you find.

4. If it comes back again then smash it in four million pieces then take the pieces and go get on a boat headed for the middle of the ocean and sprinkle half the pieces in the ocean and keep half till you are back on land and in the middle of the land and grind the pieces in to dust and spread out on the ground and if it rains in the next two weeks he will definately be gone from your life. If it dose'nt rain then he will be back and you have to start the process all over again.

*Note* You have to do the steps in order and exactly as they say. (yes that means you have to count the pieces and make sure they are exact) Lol.

Answer 5

Go buy a dozen daisy plants and place the Gnome in the center of your garden, plant the daisy's in a ring about the Gnome forming a "faerie circle" Your yard and home will be safe. Just be sure "you" don't enter the circle! P.S. be sure to plant a moonflower vine for the Faerie's! Good luck!

Answer 6

First you must find a mirror at least as tall as your gnome. Place the mirror in front of the gnome and say rumplestiltskin I invoke thee take this gnome away from me. Through the sand and in the sea forever ridding me. Then break the mirror.

Answer 7

Have a good talk with it, tell the gnome it must stop or you'll find it a new home, buy another gnome, maybe it's lonely.

Answer 8

Stop it! You're freaking me out! Just put it in the trunk of a highly armoured van and drive it off a cliff with 24 kg of tnt. That'll do it.

Answer 9

Not to worry, it's almost spring and you won't be needing the chimney anyway! Always look on the bright side...he does.

Answer 10

Hook your gnome up with the Travelocity gnome, your gnome will be roaming in no time.