he's allowed 15 min visitations every couple of hours. I saw him for the first time today for 15 min. I could have seen him again for another 15 min but I couldn't. He had major surgery on his jaw and the bottom of his mouth is really swelled up also the tongue. I am very squeemish and it is so painful to see my dad like this. I can't stop thinking about the incisions they had to give him. He's in his mid 70's and very healthy, still it bothers me. I am torchering myself because he is completely sedated and pain free but it is so hard for me to stop thinking about it. I have to go tomorrow but I don't want to. I know he's gonna ask for me. It's hard for me not to cry infront of him. I had to excuse myself today so I wouldn't cry infront of him. No one in my family is taking it this hard and I feel stupid. They keep reminding me its only TEMPORARY. Would it be terrible if I skipped a day visit. Tomorrow he goes to the regular ward where visitations are longer. Am I selfish?
2007-03-20 13:52:37 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
*sigh* I'm going through the same exact thing right now, and let me tell you, that is the LAST place I want to see anyone. I refused to go for a long time, since the journey just really sickened me. But, my family guilted me into going back because 'he really missed me' and I did, and still felt crappy. So no, you need to put yourself first, and he should understand that it's not your thing, and you would rather see him healthy and not there. Good luck ~N
2007-03-20 14:03:49 · answer #1 · answered by pitsargenaf 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It's hard to see parents in that position if you've always seen your dad as the strong, stable man who has always been there for you. You're not being selfish, you're just being a little bit childish is all, but at 15, you're still young. I think you'd feel better about yourself if you went for a visit. Don't skip out on your dad.
2007-03-20 13:57:24 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
im very very sorry for you that incredibly does suck. The maximum cancers doesnt unavoidably would desire to unfold to the concepts for him to commence "speaking loopy" The maximum cancers only extremely needs to electrify the endocrine equipment, the liver, kidneys, adrenal glands, and different organs to make someone start to lose their concepts. there are a number of chemical components and hormones that are made up in our abdomen. those chemical components can influence us in lots of procedures by ability of inflicting psychological themes at the same time with having rigidity, stress, panic, melancholy, rage, etc. Please seek for the HPA Axis. while the main cancers unfold it in all risk had a extreme influence those organs, chemical components and structures. additionally, there remains a marvelous risk, that sure, it unfold to his concepts because of the face which you suggested it unfold to his lymph nodes. Lymph nodes are located in the process the physique and greater extremely the Lymphatic vasculature, which you will photograph as a twisty curvy highway, runs in the process the completed physique such because of the fact the pinnacle/concepts. So sure, it incredibly is very attainable that the main cancers spead into the lymphatic vasculature highway and affected his concepts that way. the only concern which will help you is time. Im sorry this befell. yet you gota be stable on your mom and help her. the thoughts you're dealing with are all very favourite. I recommend you and your mom in all risk get counciling or some sort of scientific care , it is going to help and would save you the two from going right into a deep deep melancholy. prefer you the final.
2016-10-01 06:09:23 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, you are not selfish at all. Its such a difficult thing to face up to. For so much of our lives we see our parents as superhuman and it's difficult to accept they are human and just as frail as the rest of us. You can't help the way you feel and its ok. Everyone is different, my family thought I was immensely strong while I was cracking inside. Yours may be doing just the same so don't panic. I hope everything works out for all of you. x
2007-03-20 14:07:26 · answer #4 · answered by tara_365 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your not selfish it's normal for someone to feel what you are feeling but the long and the short of it is that you should'nt think too much of what you feel at this moment in time, think of your dad and how he needs your support and your pressence to help him get back on his feet. It is difficult to see someone you love in that position but your father is being very brave having visitors, do you think he wants you to see him like that? be brave, be strong. He knows you love him but prove it by being there. You only get one daddy.
2007-03-20 14:04:42 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No way, it's normal. When my father was in the hospital, i could barely look at him. He was so scary to look at. Who was that man with those tubes all over him? It scared me. So dont feel bad, it's just that you cant adjust to such a new image.
2007-03-20 13:58:48 · answer #6 · answered by Maddster 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nope
2007-03-20 13:57:51 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not at all...It is very normal for you to not to want to see him. I mean who really wants to see someone they love in pain? So hun you are normal!
2007-03-20 13:56:34 · answer #8 · answered by acoats2006 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you are normal i felt very like that when my mother was dying; i did not go to see her
2007-03-20 13:57:41 · answer #9 · answered by Nora 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no, you are scared
2007-03-20 14:18:43 · answer #10 · answered by greenfrogs 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋