This is my second marriage. After the marriage I discovered that my wife is an alcoholic. We have been now married for three years. While we were dating she used to drink but I did not come to know that she has this problem. She refuses to accept the problem. If I find her in non-sober state, she would completely deny that she had been drinking. Many times she would get mad and on a few occasions had gotten violent.
In addition to the alcohol she has the problem of controlling her emotion. Once she gets angry (which generally happens when I ask her whehter she has been drinking), she gets into this fit of anger and shouting which lasts for a day or two.
One the other hand, when she is in a good mood she is the best.. goes all the way out to make everyone happy.
But in the last few years, the relationship has developed such mist trust (because of her lying and alcohol) that I have lost my cool. We have 3 kids (2 hers one mine). I want the best for kids. Should I leave her?
2007-03-20 13:44:13 · 9 answers · asked by Ravi K 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
There are three reasons for getting a divorce, the three A's:
Adultery
Abuse
Addiction
Your so called wife is addicted to alcohol. Normally if you have kids together it is worth the fight, but since you have no kids together I would recommend leaving her. It can only get worse. Besides, your kid deserves much more from you than this, marrying a boozer. Broom the addict and give your kid all your loving till it's out of the home, then find a good woman.
.
2007-03-20 13:53:24 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hold up people, You do not have to leave her. There are options to you my friend. You can go to one of several places looking for help. Alcohol like any other drug can make things worse. you will find that most alcoholics are drinking something away. I had a family member that drank for 25 yrs his wife finally went to the Judge and filed an emergency comittal. YES this can be extreme but if you love her and want to help these children you can push for it. Another option is finding friends and family who may agree with you and shoot for and intervention. Now I will be the first to admit that at some point either she will get help or you will have to give up. If not you gonna die inside. Check out an Al-anon meeting or two they will be able to help alot.
Good Luck
2007-03-20 13:58:11 · answer #2 · answered by D B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My father was an alchoholic. My brother is an alcoholic and other extended family members are alcoholcs. The unfortunate thing is none of those people believe they are alcoholics. Until she realizes that she has a problem your choices are limited. Taking the kids and leaving may be a wake up call or it could make things worse. Are there others that could form an intervention group and try to convince her she has a problem. I would look for some form of support group or counseling. Leaving her could push her further down the spiral.
2007-03-20 13:51:51 · answer #3 · answered by PuckDog 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
one of the signs of alcoholism - DENIAL
first she needs to admit that it is a problem
then she needs to seek AA or counselling which ever suits her
dont force the issue on her - as you know it causes bigger problems and anger and violence
stop asking her if she has had a drink or been drinking - you know the answer - so why ask
but I would suggest that you do need to say to her - and preferably when she is sober - that it is affecting the kids
second signs of alcoholism is - ANGER AND VIOLENCE
Lastly I would like to advise you that if she cannot admit it that she has a problem and wont seek help - I would leave her and take the kids with you - until she has sorted herself out
2007-03-20 14:06:13 · answer #4 · answered by boonoora 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is past time to do something about this. Do you love your child. Think about what this is doing to your child emotion problems and alcoholic someone is going to get hurt. Also if you divorce her make sure the courts know about all the problems she has. Just for the other two children.
2007-03-20 14:06:34 · answer #5 · answered by LDJ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Bet you met her in a bar didn't you . You take there high from them and they think your killing them or punishing them . You may be able to get her help if she is willing but that's the hard part getting her willing . Just hope shes not on crack or something one is usually hand and hand with the other hard to tell when a person is on crack but they do get all emotional like that . Try to help her first that would be best for the kids . That's going to be a hard thing to do if you love her its all worth it
2007-03-20 13:59:44 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Seek out your local alcohol anonymous and they will put you in touch with al a nons a support group for spouses and family with alcoholic members. Good Luck to you!
2007-03-20 13:52:33 · answer #7 · answered by oskkid 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes you can't make her get help you cannot talk to a drunk either and she has got to be the one t get help no one else can do it for her, you can seperate untill she decides if she will get help if not file for a divorce.
2007-03-20 13:50:49 · answer #8 · answered by Mary O 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she won't admit that she has a problem and do something about it, leave her.
2007-03-20 13:50:54 · answer #9 · answered by expatmt 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋