I am 25, and have the potential for a great relationship with a man who is older than me at 44. I know that the age disparity upsets my parents, but I am not bothered by it. They also say that I am "settling" for this man just because he shows me attention. Fact is, I am nearly in love with him. He makes me laugh, he is kind, and we get along so well. My family also has a problem because of some sexual comments he has made to me, but they were nothing I didn't want to hear and nothing I wasn't thinking myself. Because of these comments, they really hate him now. They think he is going to rape me, or have sex with me and tell everyone. I love my family, but I cannot bear the idea that in order for them to accept me, I have to lose someone I could have a good life with. My mom keeps threatening to disown me if I see him, to not ever talk to me again. Do I keep living my life in order to please my family?
2007-03-20 13:37:24 · 8 answers · asked by mergirl55 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
So, you picked a 44 year old man who is not only old enough to be your dad, but one makes inappropriate sexual comments to you, which is disrespectful, and you find him kind and funny. Since you're 25 years old, you can pick being with this dude over your parents- you're an adult. You can choose him, and they can choose not to have anything to do with you. You can't change them, they can't change you. It's your life.
2007-03-20 13:43:53 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Nobody wants to loose there family. There comes a time in a persons life when they have to let go of the apron strings and do what makes you the happiest, it may be a wrong decision but what if its not wrong? What if you are right? Does that mean every time you date someone you are going to dump them if the parents don't ok it? You have to live you life how you want to not because someone doesn't like who you fall in love with, if you are in love then you already know what you have to do. Your family may be angry for a while, but in the long run, your family will come around when they see how dreadfully happy you are and how happy he makes you. Now the b/f I would ask him to please not say sexual comments in front of anyone but you, when you are both alone. Its not right to make statements like that in front of other because it lacks respect. If you don't have respect for you neither will anyone else. Take care Heather
2007-03-20 13:44:41 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is wrong of your mother to give you an ultimatem like she has. I think she is just doing it so you can see things from a different point of view. because you are nearly in love with this guy you are not thinking clearly. that is a hug age difference, almost twice your age. you may have a happy marriage but hes going to age much faster than you, and thats not fair for you to deal with that. and also if you had children, he would be a very old father, and that would be hard for your kids to deal with.
think it through more
but you are the only one who really knows the right answer
2007-03-20 13:44:13 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My father hates my fiance and constantly threatens to disown me. In my eyes, my happiness is what matters most. I have children with this man, and my father is too afraid of ending up alone and has never had luck in his relationships. You do what makes you feel good. There's no reason to put your life on hold for your parents, especially since you're 25.
2007-03-20 13:42:49 · answer #4 · answered by Dizzy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe they see a man who is as old as them treating their daughter with disrespect and making inappropriate sexual comments in front of others as a loser after your "inheritance" who will only hurt you. How have they reacted to your other boyfriends? How much money are you talking about? Does this man work? Many kids think their parents are so stupid and know nothing. Then one day it all dawns on them that their parents were right... boy that day is a tough day for any young adult.
If my children were making irresponsible decisions about their lives now you had better believe I would withhold an inheritance. It is their money to do with what they please.... as long as they leave you $1 you can't do anything about it.
It is THEIR money to do with what they please........ just as it is YOUR life to do with what ever you please and it seems you have.
2007-03-20 14:04:40 · answer #5 · answered by RaLoh 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you live your life as you choose but do not ignore your family they are older and wiser and they love you.right now age may not seem important but it may be down the road .do you have kids?do you want kids?how does this man feel about having kids at his age?dont sell yourself short, my first husband was almost 15 years older than i was and i was only 18.be careful things are not always what they seem i know from my own experience i got 5 great kids but i lost my family and was treated very badly i wont bore you with the details but he was good to me at first too.good luck!
2007-03-20 14:01:20 · answer #6 · answered by dixie58 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If this guy is disrespecting you this way in front of your family, then they know as well as I do that he is obviously disrespectful when they are not around. Plus not only is he beign disrespectful to you, but also to your parents by saying sexual things around them. You should respect yourself more, and he ceretainly would respect my family....otherwise, he would not be in my life. You only have one family, and that family will always be there for you.....but they do not want to see you hurt, and they see that there is a problem here....you are ignoring to see it, and what it is leading to. Believe it or not, I think you need to listen to your family in this case.....they see trouble coming for you as I do to....this type of disrespect leads to abuse later.....but if you choose him over YOUR family......you have to live with that decision......it is just that your family does not want to see you get hurt, and they have seen this guys type many times and they know that you are getting in trouble......when you allowed this guy to say things sexually in front of your parents, then you told him that he can do say treat you anyway he wants in front of anyone.
For you own safety.....get out while you can
2007-03-20 14:09:00 · answer #7 · answered by mrs_endless 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i know this sounds lame but in these situations the best advice anyone can give you is to follow your heart.
best of luck.
2007-03-20 13:42:41 · answer #8 · answered by runningballerina 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋