2007-03-20 13:34:29 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Health ➔ Alternative Medicine
Hi there, my friend. Forgiveness remains in the domain of the heart. When we stop looking at the experience as something bad, but as something that has taught us something that we didn't know before, then we can be grateful for the gift that the person gave us. In "Illusions," by Richard Bach, he states, "We seek problems, because we need their gifts." Focus on the gift and forgiveness becomes second nature.
When we stop blaming others for what happens to us, and take responsibility for whatever actions led us to this point in time and this place, then we can see the greater design that accompanies the experience that we are going through at any given moment. This releases you to understand and the other person to be whatever they need to be. People come into our lives and stay until we "get" the lesson that we are supposed to. Learn the lesson and forgiveness is easy.
2007-03-20 19:06:58 · answer #1 · answered by Janet C 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Forgiving someone is a hard thing to do. I think it's great that you want to forgive instead of just holding a grudge.
You need to make sure that you're not in a position where the person could hurt you again. You can forgive, but it doesn't mean that you have to forget. You don't have to trust this person again right away. They have to earn that trust back.
Forgiveness comes with time and a lot of patients. It may help to try to be nice to the person like you would be nice to the cashier at Wall-Mart. When I was going through a situation where I needed to forgive someone, I had to see this person on a regular basis which was hard. Although we are not close friends anymore, I am able to be nice to that person when before I could hardly look at that person.
When you forgive, it is not only beneficial to the person you're forgiving, but also (probably more) to yourself. It will free you.
2007-03-20 13:59:42 · answer #2 · answered by dazed and confused 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
For me, it comes down to this. I have accepted that I am capable of doing ANYTHING that someone else has done. My grand daughters were molested. However, I recognize that if I was a man and I had high testosterone levels, and if I was raised in an abusive environment, and if my mind wasn't quite right... then even I might molest someone.
How does the saying go, "There but for the Grace of God, go I" or the other one, "Walk a mile in my shoes."
I think forgiveness comes when you remove your personal judgement from the crime. When you quit deciding that they COULD have done better, because MAYBE they couldn't. When you, with complete humility, acknowledge that you could, or have done something equally horrible. When you know if you really screwed up, you would like to be forgiven.
You can make a choice to SACRIFICE your RIGHT to anger. You have a RIGHT to be angry, but you can CHOOSE to give up that right.
By sacrificing your right to anger, you are giving that person an unearned gift. A holy, pure, kind gift. An undeserved act of kindness. Frequently it is unappreciated. Frequently it is unwanted. However, anyone who does an act of kindness is rewarded, depending on your beliefs, perhaps by God. But also by a boost of a body chemical called serotonin. Serotonin gives a feeling of happiness and well-being.
So, forgiveness truly makes you feel better.
2007-03-20 14:00:01 · answer #3 · answered by Seeking Serenity 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good question. It's something that I have to do every single day but what helped me get a better perspective is Marianne Williamson's tape On Forgiveness and the idea that we are all human and that whatever someone did to you in that moment was the best they could do with the mindset they were in. It's in forgiving someone else, even if they never apologize that will free you up and that's ultimately the serenity that you need to achieve about it to move on.
2007-03-20 15:15:21 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If the person really did harm you, have you taken steps to prevent them from doing you any further harm? I think to forgive, you need to feel safe.
I've learned to forgive by mentally praying, or ask the universe if you're not religious, to forgive this person and feel peaceful towards them. I repeat that daily until I actually feel that I can move on.
2007-03-20 13:43:48 · answer #5 · answered by Annie D 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Remember that forgiveness is for you, not for the person that hurt you. When you let go of something, you are able to move on. When you continue feeling resentment and the person who hurt you goes on and may even forget about you, you continue doing damage to yourself. When you leave it in God's hands, He will do it for you. He will deal with everyone, remember that. Not in a vengeful way but in a peace of mind sort of way. That you don't have to carry a burden because He will lift it off of you and onto his cross. Forgiveness can be difficult, believe me, I know. But there is a way so I congratulate you for taking steps toward it.
2007-03-20 19:04:41 · answer #6 · answered by mrsL 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are Christian, you can choose to believe that you don't have the power to forgive anyway.
Let Jesus and God take care of that: people don't have to answer to you because you don't have the authority to judge and right wrongs.
When people irritate the livin' daylights out of me, I usually reevaluate the situation ...
Do I take them as they are, and stay?
Or do I take them as they are, and leave?
In the end, in matters between two people, those really are your only choices.
2007-03-20 14:53:10 · answer #7 · answered by poweranni 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
get a Melody Beattie book
2007-03-20 13:38:30 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
to SHUT UP
2007-03-20 13:38:10 · answer #9 · answered by G 1 · 0⤊ 2⤋